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Tales of a Plus Size Bridesmaid: My Best Friend’s Wedding

A girlfriend of mine warned me that there’s something magical about weddings. She gave me a heads up that weddings create a very romantic mood.

I had no idea what she was talking about… Until my best friend married his boyfriend. Watching two people commit to each other is so powerful that that love and romance behind it is almost contagious.

I was honored to stand next to Adam, a boy I had grown up with, as his Best Girl. I surprised myself by crying through the entire ceremony but it was such a moving event, I couldn’t help it!

After a pow-wow with the wedding party in the pastors office (with more tears of joy and the signing of the marriage certificate) we made our way into the churches garden where the reception was being held. I couldn’t stop smiling while watching Adams family and friends applaud him and his new husband. Amid the sea of happy faces, my eyes met Roberts, he smiled and opened his arms as I walked towards him.

“You look so pretty,” he said, kissing me on the cheek.

Immediately all of the doubt and anxiety I had about inviting him to the wedding melted away. I was glad he was there. Maybe it was the magic of the wedding, but I could feel happiness radiating from my body.

Over the course of the night my friends pulled me to the side with comments like, “you guys are sooo cute together, oh my God!” and “CeCe, you’re next!” I laughed them off and just kept dancing.

At one point Robert and I struck up a conversation with one of the wedding guests. A young guy who didn’t seem to be there with anyone. We’d all had a few drinks, but I was still surprised when the random guest looked at us and said “so, are you two… together?”

I paused.

“Yeah– we are,” Robert said without hesitation. Then he gave my hand a little squeeze.

I casually took a sip of champagne to toast the moment (and hide the smile that was spreading across my face). There’s something about hearing a guy tell another guy that you’re with him. It just feels good.

The random guest raised his glass, “good for you man… she’s a beautiful girl.” (I didn’t know who this guy was, but I really liked him.)

Later, when I saw some of the photos of us on facebook I could see it– we were both grinning, laughing, dancing, cuddling each other, holding hands and you could see the happiness that I was feeling that night in each photo. It was radiating from both of us.

Maybe that’s the magic of weddings!

Curvy Conversations: A Plus Size Princess in Love!

I’ve been having a rough couple of months.

As most of you know, I date a lot but I rarely date one person for an extended period of time like I’m doing with Robert. Things with Robert are a work in progress and while its not horrible, I wouldn’t say I’m anywhere near my “happy ending”. I think what I’m feeling is pretty normal since you all let me know that dating/relationships are hard work, but these emotions are brand new for me.

Because of these new emotions, I’ve been doubting myself. I’m usually pretty solid on how I feel about dating and have no problem sharing my thoughts in the Curvy Conversations section of TBGB but right now I’m struggling to navigate through my own dating situation. Because of this, I’ve been wondering if maybe I should wait until I’ve figured things out with Robert before I share my thoughts with you guys.

During this low period, I’ve had a few emails come in from girls asking for dating advice. I love emailing with PSP’s but I just wasn’t in a good place to answer these emails. I felt awful about it, but every time I tried to reply to emails nothing came out right.

Last week I got an email from Diane, a PSP who had written to me before. Here is what she said:

Hey CeCe!

About a year ago I wrote in asking what you thought about friends with benefits situations. I ended up taking your advice and asking whether a friend wanted to date officially. As I wrote before, he said yes and we began a relationship!

I wanted to give you an update: Yesterday, we celebrated our one year anniversary and have been living together for about a month now. Our relationship has been comfortable and trusting from the start because we began as close friends. We are still very happy and both very glad that I took your advice and made the move on him. Thanks again for being available to all us plus size gals for wonderful insight!
With his permission, I am attaching a picture of us. Thanks again, CeCe. I’ll keep reading as long as you keep writing!
– Diane

Wow Diane,

Thank YOU for the update. First of all, you look so happy! Secondly, I’m a sucker for guys with glasses so hooray for you!!

Your letter gave me a bit of my confidence back and reminded me what Curvy Conversations on TBGB are all about. *sigh* None of us have all the answers, all the time. Sometimes TBGB readers reach out to me for advice and sometimes I reach out to you guys! Hopefully we can all continue to help each other and support each other as we work towards living life to the fullest as Plus Size Princesses.

A year ago I was able to help you and today you’ve returned the favor… your email couldn’t have come at a better time.

All the best to you and your boy, keep me updated! 😉

xoxo,

CeCe

CeCe@thebiggirlblog.com

P.S. I will be responding to all emails this week. Thanks for your patience!

Should I Date Someone From My Job?

Dear Cece,

I found your blog about 6 months ago and always look forward to reading about your adventures in life, love, and style!

A question for you: do you and Robert still work together?

I’ve been hanging out a bit with a man from work (we actually went out last Saturday with 2 of his friends and we’ve done other things together as well) and am just not sure if it’s such a wise idea for me to become involved romantically with someone at the office.

I really like seeing him throughout the week and our interactions at work are pretty much the best part of my day.We IM all day (half for work purposes), he’s in my cubicle constantly, we have lunch together most days–we’re basically inseparable during working hours. But I worry about saying something that I can’t take back and then having to face him and work with him every day.

Is it smart to get attached to a work mate? I’m just not sure….PSP in MKE

Dear PSP in MKE,

Yes, Robert and I still work together and my interactions with him are the best part of my day, so I know how you feel!

This is my first office romance, so… although I’m not an expert, I’ll give you a few things to consider:

  1. Do you work in the same department? If so, the first thing you should do is (discreetly) find out what your companies policy is on these things. From what I understand, its usually not a problem unless one of you reports directly to the other. While Robert and I work for the same company, we work in different departments, so we’re in the clear!
  2. Can you handle it? I know it seems like a silly question, but dating someone at your job means there is ZERO separation. When I’m frustrated with Robert for something that happened on Tuesday night, I don’t get to go to work on Wednesday morning and forget about him for a while, because… he’s there!
  3. Can your coworkers handle it? As much as you try to hide it, people will find out that you’re dating a coworker. Even if your company doesn’t have a problem with it, people love juicy gossip and an office romance is the juiciest of the juicy. My coworkers can be quite obnoxious with their interest in Robert and me. Although we’ve never confirmed that we’re dating, they love to do everything short of making “kissy faces” when they see us together. Robert never cared, but it used to really bother me. Eventually I had to accept the fact that people are nosy by nature and that will never change. Now I just take it in stride and keep my focus on Robert and what we have.
  4. Is he/she worth it? When things get messy at work it makes it uncomfortable for everyone involved. This might sound blunt, but if you feel things turning into a sex thing, or a fling I’d advise that you look somewhere else for a booty call. But if you feel like this could really “be something”, go for it!
  5. What will you do if it ends? We all enter every relationship hoping that it will last forever, but when dating coworkers, you really need to ask yourself if you could handle seeing your ex for 8 hours a day 5 days a week. If Robert and I stopped seeing each other, the hardest part for me would be our “habits”. He waits for me everyday after work, we have lunch together 3-4 days a week. If those things stopped happening, my work days would be pretty gloomy! But hopefully, I’ll never know what that’s like *fingers crossed*
Anyway, I hope that helps. It sounds to me like you and your work friend are taking things slow and that’s the best way to enter a relationship in my opinion. Keep your eyes open and continue to build your friendship. Everything else will fall into place… it did for me!
xoxo,
CeCe
CeCe@thebiggirlblog.com
P.S. Has anyone else done an office romance? If so, leave your advice for our PSP in MKE below!