Tag Archives: The Scene

I Gave Him My Number (Part One)

The minute I locked eyes with the tall chocolate man behind the register at Urban Outfitters, something inside me awakened. It wasn’t love at first sight, but more like whoa you’re really hot and you keep looking at me maybe you think I’m hot too— whatever feeling that is. He kept glancing over at me from behind the counter and I kept pretending not to notice, while panicking on the inside. I was buying candles and a pair of sunglasses (all that would fit me from that store), and wasn’t sure what I should do if by chance I was called to his register.

This was (before Robert) when I was starting to understand that a Plus Size Princess can never predict who will be attracted to her. I had been going to the BBW parties in NYC and the experience of going to bars/clubs where my size was not an issue was doing amazing things for my confidence.

So there I am, making eyes with the store clerk at Urban Outfitters with butterflies in my stomach. I was next in line and there was a 50/50 chance I would be called to his register… but do to a missing price tag, I wasn’t. Instead I was waited on by a polite hipster girl who wrapped my sunglasses in tissue paper and sent me on my way. As I tucked my credit card into my wallet I snuck one last glance over to my chocolate cashier and to my terror/glee he was staring at me too and he smiled.

When I got home, I was still thinking about him. Without speaking he had stirred something up in me and I couldn’t ignore it. I wanted to know more about him and the way he looked at me was as if he was interested. Before I realized what I was doing, I googled the phone number for Urban Outfitters and dialed it.

“Urban Outfitters, how can I help you?” a cheerful woman answered.

I froze– I hadn’t really thought through what I would say, so I began to wing it.

“Hi… Um… I was just in your store and I think one of my friends was working the register but– the line was so long I couldn’t speak to him… he’s a really tall black guy with a bald head?”

“Oh, yeah– Brian, he’s here but he’s on break.”

“Okay, um… can I maybe leave a message for him?”

“Sure,”

“Okay– Can you tell him that CeCe called. Here’s my number…”

I gave her my name and number, hung up the phone and exhaled deeply. It was a random slightly stalkerish thing to do, but somehow it made me feel better. I was becoming more fearless when it came to men, less convinced that everyone was going to reject me. This was good.

Two hours later, my phone rang with a number I didn’t recognize.

“Hello?”

“Yeah, this is Brian, someone left a message for me to call this number… CeCe?”

“Yeah, that’s me, um… hi.”

“Hello”

“I was in the store today and you kept looking at me… I just… I just wanted you to have my number and I figured since you were at work you couldn’t ask for it.”

“Oh,” he laughed. “Well, a lot of girls come in the store. What do you look like?”

I couldn’t bring myself to describe myself as big/plus size/fat (I’ve grown more since then, but at that time it wasn’t happening) so I offered to text him a picture.

“Okay cool,” he replied. “send it to me now, I’m about to get on the train though.”

We hung up and I sent my most recent, cutest, full body pic. I figured I was being more forward than I had ever been before, there was no need to hide now. 40 minutes later I had a text back:

You are so beautiful

Ready for Part two? Click here!

Plus Size Dating & Race: Does it Matter?

Disclaimer: This is a subject I’ve wanted to write about for a while. I look forward to hearing your thoughts, but anything offensive or hateful will be deleted.

“Overheard in New York” is one of my favorite blogs. As the name of the site implies, people submit snippets of conversation that they’ve overheard while being in NYC. Here is a post that I found the other day (excuse the language):

When I read this, my first thought was what on earth does race have to do with size? I wrote this guy off as a lunatic, until I began to think back to my days at the BBW clubs in NYC. More specifically at Goddesses. On any given night, it seemed that

-most of the Black men were giving attention to the big White women

-most of the White men gravitated towards the big Black and/or Latina women

-most the Latin men were more open, spending time with all the women (as long as they could dance).

Every time I was at Goddesses I would notice interracial couplings all over the dance floor. One night I was sitting at the bar with Paige and Reese, when a stunning Italian looking guy with perfect teeth walked in. Paige let out a deep sigh and said “Look at Danny, he’s so HOT… too bad he only dates Black girls.” A few minutes later a gorgeous Black man came into the club. He grabbed a drink and spent the rest of the night cozying up to the biggest woman at the party, who happened to be white.

I’m starting to wonder this is just coincidence, or if a lot of these men will only date Plus Size Princesses of a certain race. More specifically, a race outside of their own.

I have more thoughts but I know race can be a complicated subject, so I’m going to stop here and let you guys chime in.

Are you a White/Black/Latina/Asian PSP who feels like your race has an effect on your dating life? Do you find that men of a certain race hit on you more? When it comes to Plus Size Dating… does race matter?

Where are the BBW Clubs in NYC? (Plus Size Princess FAQ’s)

I love getting emails from you and I’ve been noticing that there are a few questions that I get asked all the time. So I thought I’d start a FAQ segment in case there were other Plus Size Princesses that had similar questions. Ready? Lets begin!

Hi CeCe,

I’m visiting the New York/New Jersey area and wanted to check out some BBW clubs or lounges where I won’t be judged! Do you have any tips?

In my experience there are two BBW parties in New York City that happen regularly: Goddesses and Bigger and Better Thangs (BBT).

Goddesses

Goddesses was the first BBW party I ever attended. When I first started blogging about the BBW Scene I called it DIVAS for some reason– I guess to protect the innocent? Anyway, I’ve had some good and bad nights there, I’ve met some hot guys and some trolls, I’ve been there when it was packed and I’ve been there when it was a whole bunch of PSP’s fighting for the attention for 2 or 3 guys. You can’t predict the Goddess party, which is one of the reasons I stopped going (if I’m going to pay a $20 cover, the party needs to be awesome).

Sometimes Goddesses reminds me of a a bad cruise. The party is very “organized” with contests, themes and a DJ who plays outdated songs. The first time I went to Goddesses they had a “thong” contest where girls pulled down their jeans and shook their butts for the judges and the drooling men who were huddled against the wall.

The guys there can be a little corny. Some of them do choreographed dances (its like a bad Usher video). But some of the guys are super sweet. Again, you never know what you’re going to get when you go there.

The good thing about Goddesses is that its every Saturday night, so its a guaranteed place to go not matter when you’re in NYC.

http:/www.goddessbbw.com/

Bigger and Better Thangs (BBT)

Bigger and Better Thangs (yes, Thangs) is a BBW party that happens twice a month at club Remix. In my opinion, this is the better party. The DJ is always ROCKIN’ with current songs and they usually have two rooms, one with mainstream music and another with reggae/dancehall music.

The BBT crowd is predominantly African-American, but I’ve seen all types of people there having an awesome time. I would choose BBT over Goddesses mostly because it feels like a “normal” club. There are drink specials, two awesome DJ’s and everyone dances all night, this makes paying $20 worth it.

There is a more blatant sexual energy at the BBT parties, (I was at a BBT party when I was approached by swingers) but again, its a good party no matter what.

http:/www.biggerandbetterthangs.com/

No matter which party you decide to attend, keep your expectations low. As I wrote a few weeks back, finding love in the club isn’t a realistic goal. But having a good time in a place where you feel comfortable is an awesome thing!

xoxo,

CeCe

CeCe@thebiggirlblog.com

A Plus Size… Prince? (Part 2)

Andrew and I had plans to grab drinks last night and I as much as I tried, I could not get excited.

Part of me felt like I was going out with Andrew in order to prove something to myself. I felt like I was forcing myself to go out with someone that I wasn’t attracted to. Andrew wasn’t ugly or anything, but I couldn’t get past his size and I felt horrible about it. I mean, how many guys have missed out on amazing girls (example: me) because they wouldn’t consider dating someone who was overweight.

As a PSP, does the fact that I don’t like big men make me a hypocrite?

I sat at the bar sipping a glass of Shiraz when Andrew walked in. Maybe it wasn’t the fact that he was overweight that bothered me. Perhaps it was how he carried his weight that was the problem. He had an apologetic way about him; with shoulders slumped down, a gut that pushed through his shirt and the way he walked or rather schlepped across the wine bar to meet me was a huge turn off.

“Hey,” he said casually as he pulled up a bar stool beside me.

No hug, no kiss on the cheek.

I took a deep breath and struck up a conversation, asking him about work, his drive into the city (he lived upstate), and anything else I could think of. Eventually the conversation turned to the other girls from DIVAS who he’d been out with.

“They’ve been cool,” he said, “but none of them were as hot as you.”

From the way he looked at the ground when he complimented me, I knew he meant it. It was sweet. I tried to get past appearances and look inside to see who Andrew really was and if he was someone that I wanted to get to know.

I still had work in the morning, so we headed to his car so that he could drive me home. When he pulled his car in front of my building we sat there for a while saying the obligatory “I had a nice time”, “we should do it again” etc., then there was a lull in the conversation.

“Can I kiss you now?” he said, looking straight ahead.

I was so on the fence with him, that I was willing to try anything to feel butterflies.

“Sure,” I replied.

He unbuckled his seat belt, and leaned across the car to kiss me. It was a nice kiss, but the only thing I felt was an increased determination not to be a hypocrite. How could I ask men to look past the physical, if I wasn’t willing to do the same? Perhaps this was just a self serving experiment, but when he said:

“Can I call you tomorrow?”

I said:

“Sure.”

A Night at The Big Girl Club

BBW parties arent something that you can find everywhere, so I thought I’d offer a glimpse into a night on The Scene. The different BBW parties, which I call “Divas”, “Rewind” and “Satellite” respectively all have a different crowds. On this particular night, I was at Rewind.

Its always nice to see PSP’s dressing to show off their curves, on any given night, you will see form fitting dresses, mini skirts and low cut tops.

The DJ is always good at “Rewind” (“Divas” is a different story, since their DJ is an older man who seems a bit out of touch). But at “Rewind” you will always find a place to groove either in the Hip-Hop or Reggae room.


The clubs on the scene are very accepting… there’s not a lot of pretentiousness like you’d find at other NYC clubs. Everyone is welcome…

…and I mean EVERYONE!

People come to have a good time and dance, but who knows, you may just find love in the club!

A BBW… Party?!?! (Part One)

I don’t have any plus size friends.

So, when my friend Ken brought his friend Paige to the movies one night I was surprised to see that she too was a Plus Size Princess. We hit it off and exchanged contact information.

A few days later she called and asked what I was doing that weekend. I didn’t have any plans.

“Have you ever been to a BBW party?”

“A what?”

I had no idea what she was talking about, so she explained that there are clubs dedicated to Big Beautiful Women (and men) and the guys (or girls) who love them.

I was speechless.

I flashed back to all the times I had gone out with my girlfriends and watched as they danced with guy after guy, while I was usually ignored. If there was a club that celebrated girls like me, that would change everything.

Paige said that she and her friend Reese would pick me up on Saturday night and we would all go out to “DIVAS”.

I spent the rest of the week deciding what I should wear. I finally decided on a knee length black halter dress with bright pink heels.

Paige and Reese pulled up to my apartment at 10pm and by 10:45 I was entering a night-club where I was the rule and not the exception.

We walked straight to the bar for a round of martinis. As I fished through my pink snakeskin clutch for cash, I felt a hand on the small of my back. I turned around and was face to face with a tall, Spanish looking man with curly hair and gorgeous light brown eyes.

He smiled and said, “Can I buy your drink?”

“Um, sure” I replied tossing my hair over my shoulder.

Reese and Paige exchanged knowing glances… this was going to be good!

Read Part Two Here