Tag Archives: More to Love

“I was the biggest girl in the house” Is there a little bit of Kristian in all of us?

*Deep Sigh*

Watching the TV show, More To Love, is becoming quite laborious, but I did tune in (a few days late, via DVR) to last weeks episode.

I think we were all holding our breath for the moment when Kristian’s borderline obsessive feelings about Luke would lead him to kick her off of the show. After weeks of hearing Kristian gush over our Big Boned Bachelor with phrases like “he’s the most amazing man”, “I love this man” etc. It was finally her more direct, “I love you” in three different languages that prompted Luke to send her packing.

I’ve read my share of dating books, relationship articles and eaves dropped on enough guy talk to know that men love a chase. While a woman might be moved by an unexpected “I love you”, a man will more than likely run in the other direction. I personally don’t think you can convince a man to love you, and even if you try, “I think you should love me because I’m in love with you” may not be the best argument.

But that’s exactly what Kristian did.

Reality programming is now a major television genre and its very apparent that these shows are edited towards specific story lines. As I watched Kristian, I kept feeling like the producers saw her as the “every-girl” character, or in this case the “every-fat-girl” character. Kristian wasn’t as glamorous as the plus size model or as insecure as the girl who was afraid to sing in public. She was the girl who all the chubby chicks watching the show were supposed to identify with. The girl with the heart of gold that she wore directly on her sleeve. When Luke gave Kristian the boot and then broke the elimination show tradition by chasing after her to hold her and comfort her as she sobbed, it was obviously a moment that was supposed to tug at our heart strings.

Kristian was supposed to be just like me, but was she? I had to ask myself a few questions.

1.) Do I, as a Plus Size Princess (PSP), fall hard for any man who shows me the slightest bit of attention?

2.) Would I, as a PSP, date someone like Kristian’s ex boyfriends who, according to her saw her as just a “fat girl”?

3.) After being dumped by a self professed lover of big women, would I still see my weight as the ultimate hindrance to his feelings for me?

The answers to #1 and #2 were pretty easy… No. But #3 is something I’m not sure about. In Kristian’s exit interview she said that she hoped her size wasn’t the reason Luke sent her home because she was “the biggest girl in the house”. Of all of the footage and soundbites that the editors used to shape the Kristian character, “I was the biggest girl in the house” was the only thing that really did pull the strings of my heart.

Are we so conditioned to seeing weight as a problem, that we fail to recognize when its not?

As I watched Kristian go after Luke, she made many classic mistakes that girls (of all sizes) make when dating. There were so many times I wanted to yell at the TV “you’re coming on too strong!”, “you’re going to scare him off!” but Kristian wasn’t able to see that. Instead, even though she was involved with a man who made it perfectly clear on national television that he’s attracted to large women, Kristian could not see past her size.

Perhaps that was her biggest mistake.

Dear “More To Love”…

Dear “More To Love”,

At this point I feel as if we’re past formalities, so I will call you MTL.

When I first met you, MTL, I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt. You were doing something new and I know how hard that can be. But I was also nervous because you were going to be speaking to America on my behalf. As a PSP (Plus Size Princess) I was scared you would say the wrong things or portray me in the wrong light…

Sadly, I was correct.

This isnt a big deal, but I thought you should know that its not only big men who accept and appreciate big women and vice versa. While there’s nothing wrong with it, I’ve never dated a guy who was “husky”. I’d also be willing to bet that there are plenty of thin women who are attracted to your Big Boned Bachelor.

Also MTL, I went to all of my high school dances (including two proms). One year I actually had more than one guy ask me and I had to choose between them! I looked great, I felt great and not once during the night did I cry because I was fat.

Every week I swear you off, but then I scroll through my DVR list and you’re there, so I tune in. Not because I like you, but because I feel like I need to know what ridiculous things you’re doing now.

CeCe (thebiggirlblog)

Questioning “More to Love”… Episode 1

I really wasn’t planning on watching More to Love, but last night all of the PSP’s at www.twitter.com/thebiggirlblog were watching it and commenting and… I felt left out!

I definitely wasn’t planning on talking about More to Love on TBGB, but when I woke up this morning, the entry I had planned on posting was having technical difficulties, so… I thought maybe it was a sign that I should at least mention that I watched it, because maybe you guys watched it too and if you did watch it… maybe you can answer some questions I have:

  • Are women on other dating shoes (i.e. The Bachelor) required to list their height and weight?
  • Did the women seem to promote lonely fat girl stereotypes? (“I have a big heart”, “I have so much love to give”, “I’ve never been on a date”, “This is my only chance to find someone”)
  • Where was the racial diversity in the show?
  • Will the women continue to cry during every confessional?
  • Was anyone surprised that the majority of the “smaller” women were chosen first?