Tag Archives: Men

Dating Pet Peeve: Guys Who Can’t Make Decisions

Dating 35 Comments

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Since iPhones archive everything, its easy to scroll through my texts and see what guys I was talking to at different points in my dating life. I did a search for “thanksgiving” in my texts and came across this conversation that illustrates something guys do that drives me nuts: Forcing me to make alllllll the decisions.

I understand that no one wants to date the “she’ll have the steak” type of guy, but there’s got to be a happy medium between overbearing and no effort at all.

The texts in white are him, the texts in green are me, this is our first conversation after I gave him my number:

photo 1 crop

 

Alright, mister I’m giving you major points for trying to arrange a date during our first text conversation, because dudes out here love to text “good morning”, “wyd”, and “happy thanksgiving” for months without setting up an actual date. But why ask me when I’m free if you already know you’re only available on Tuesdays and Wednesdays?

A simple “Hey, CeCe are you free on Tuesday or Wednesday? Maybe we can grab a drink…” would have been perfect. But you’re trying, so I’ll meet you halfway:

photo 2a crop

 

Hmmm as a girl, “what would you like to do?” is such a hard question to answer. I never want to choose a dating activity that’s out of your price range. I mean, my favorite first dates have always been activities (i.e. bowling, arcades, scavenger hunts), but for some guys that’s too much. Again, why not throw out some ideas and let me choose my favorite instead of making me come up with everything.

Side note: what’s with all the commas “,,,,,,,” from this guy?

photo 2b crop

 

Sir, do you realize that I have planned this entire first date so far? I’ve set the day, the activity and now the time. But before I get myself worked up, let me just be honest with you, you’re not a mind reader. So maybe I should just tell you that I’d like you participate in the decision making, duh…

photo 2c crop

*Drops phone and slides to the floor*

photo 3 crop

I’m going to make this hard? Okay…

Have you ever had a guy plan a date for the two of you where every detail was taken care of? I have and its such an awesome feeling to know that he took the time to think through a fun night for both of us… even if the date isn’t perfect, that type of investment and planning speaks volumes!

Am I asking for cinderella treatment from day one? No… I have no problem making decisions together– but when a guy can’t seem to make any decisions at all it comes off as kind of, I dunno… lazy.

What do you think? How do you deal with guys that refuse to make decisions?

***Due to a site glitch, some of your comments were deleted, I’m copy/pasting them below, you can add additional comments in the comment box***

  • AroundHarlem

    my only response would have been any thing but sea food. You pick the time and place. I don’t pay for first dates so I don’t plan them.

  • Avatar
    doofla

    oh man, my boyfriend still does this! I try to give him a break because it really is just part of his easy-going personality, but he knows when I say “I WANT YOU TO PLAN THIS TIME” he actually has to plan it instead of being “nice” by asking a million times what I want to do. I might’ve had to send him the link to the wikipedia “decision fatigue” entry a few times before he got it though. 🙂

  • Avatar
    Lona nods

    i had an ex that did this and it was aggravating and exhausting. what was even more aggravating was to get to a resturant and he not eat anything because he didn’t like that particular cuisine. it was like that with movies and anything else that happened outside of the house. glad he’s an ex.

  • Avatar
    nicthommi

    One nice thing though is their failure to make a decision makes it easy for you to make a decision…
    to not speak with this person ever again. That guy was just demonstrating that he was not boyfriend material and never would be .
    Also do not know what is up with people that try to send random texts or even have multiple conversations without making a plan to meet. If you aren’t asking me out the first time (or second, depending on whether we met in real life on online) I hear your voice, we aren’t going to speak again. It’s pretty simple.

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    Curvily NYC

    When I was dating, I was happy to give suggestions if they had something in mind, but I was not trying to plan the entire first date. So annoying!

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    AroundHarlem

    I’m a big believer of how a relationship starts is how it will be so if you start a relationship with someone who can’t be responsible for decisions, all future decisions will fall on you as well.

  • Avatar
    BlueIris

    This happens to me all the time and it’s so incredibly annoying. To me, it doesn’t just seem lazy, but it also seems like he doesn’t care about the date at all. I feel like I’m forcing him into going out with me.

  • Avatar
    Sonya Mann

    this would annoy the heck out of me =P

Interracial Dating (Part Two) Private

Dating 19 Comments

Last week a reader wrote in asking about my experiences with interracial dating. I’m chopping this up into three pieces and Part Two is the private aspect of interracial dating.

Race isn’t a big deal to me, if I am attracted to a guy, I’ll give him a chance. At the same time I also try not to be ignorant to the fact that race a big deal to other people. As I mentioned in Interracial Dating (Part One) my experience is that you both have to be each others advocates and protectors. You have to advocate and protect each other and yourselves as a couple because outside opinions from the public will come out and it wont always be pretty.

For me, the private work that makes interracial relationships work is constantly having conversations about things the other person will never 100% understand.

Lets take things out of the context of race for a second: Can you imagine trying to sit down and explain to your boyfriend what its like to be a woman? I mean, we’re raised and conditioned based on our gender, so its second nature to us, right? We just accept the ups and downs that life throws to a woman and we navigate accordingly, but could we actually articulate to a man exactly what its like? Sure, we could offer a few stories and share our feelings with men, but I don’t think a man would walk away truly “getting it”. (and we sure can’t understand what it like being a guy which we spend so much time and money on books trying to understand the opposite sex!)

A big part of advocating for each other comes from learning and communicating about what its like to be who you are. Obviously this is easier said than done. From privilege to prejudice, race has an undeniable effect on our lives. The more we work to understand even a tiny bit of what our partner experiences, the easier it is to be that public champion for each other when things get awkward (or downright rude) as I mentioned last week. These types of conversations can be intense, but they can also be beautiful and build intimacy. Again, this is one of the reasons that I feel like interracial couples have a chance to build a really strong connection. But these types of discussions aren’t limited to interracial relationships.

Right now, I’d say I’m dating inter-culturally because I am Nigerian and Robert is Jamaican. Yes, we’re both black and in many ways were brought up the same way, but… in some ways our backgrounds are very different. There are things about Jamaican culture that I don’t sit well with me and as Robert and I move forward conversations are required. Do we get it right in one sitting? No. But we talk about it and work to gain understanding.

In the end, diversity in your love life can be an awesome thing as long as you communicate and don’t shy away from hard conversations… you just might learn something.

How do YOU deal with diverse relationships (race, ethnicity, religion, etc)? Are there any specific questions/conversations that help you gain understanding?

P.S. My next FREE event is coming up on 10/27 “Cardio & Curvy Conversations” is going to be a great time, with my favorite trainer from New York Sports Club. Register here!

When a Man Gives You His Business Card: I Rest My Case

Dating 56 Comments

One of my readers is a guy named Mike Lowrey (side note: Mike, if you’re reading this, you should email me… I think you’re fascinating). Mike leaves comments that keep me thinking. He “keeps it real”, isn’t afraid to tell me what I need to hear and he gives a great peak into the males perspective PSP’s/women in general. Mike commented on Business Card: Exhibit C the other day, and here’s what he said:

When we hand a woman a business card alone it is like saying, “you’re cute but I’m not interested enough in you to get your number or to actually give you my cell number.” If you call cool, and if I’m bored one day we can chill. If you don’t call, who cares. If a guy is into you he’s going to get your number, give you his and give you his business card just in case. This also allows the guy to show the woman he has a career and not just a 9-5 job. Every so often I will give out my card just to save time. It lets her know that I’m interested. From there if she’s interested too, she’ll call. But mostly we don’t care if the business card chick ever calls.

After the Famous Photographer let things fizzle, I waited to see if Apple Store Guy would prove me wrong. After taking his business card, I went home and emailed him. I sent a short email saying that it was nice to see him again, “I have a bad habit of losing business cards, so I wanted to reach out while your card is still accessible…” I wrote. I got an email back from him the next day saying that it was good to run into me too “Since you’re bad at keeping business cards, here’s my phone number…” he replied.

At that moment I knew it was over. Apple Store Guy kept pushing the ball into my court, which I’m not into, but for the sake of my business card experiment– I pressed on. I quickly replied “thanks, here’s my number…” and pushed Apple Store Guy into the back of my mind.

Two days later, he called.

Well, actually he sent me a text. I told him that I wasn’t much of a texter. Then he called.

Anyway, we chatted for a bit. The conversation was mediocre at best. Apple Store Guy asked me THREE of my Five Most Annoying Dating Questions and when we ended the call he asked if I wanted to see a movie sometime.

That was weeks ago, and I haven’t heard from him since.

Basically, I feel that my instincts were right. A business card shows lukewarm interest or no interest at all. Either way, I don’t think I’ll be following up the next time a man slips a business card into my hand.

Are The Men I Attract a Reflection of… Me?!

Dating 69 Comments

Over the weekend I was laying out in the sand with my girlfriends and we were talking about men and dating in general when one of my friends casually mentioned that she didn’t have any dating horror stories. I’ve been back for a few days now, but can’t stop thinking about what she said because lately I feel like I have nothing but dating horror stories.

Remember the guy who told me that he lived in a shelter? Well, upon further questioning I found out that not only was he homeless, he’d been a working homeless person for over three years. And if that wasn’t enough; he explained that because of his lack of stability, very few women want to deal with him (duh!) and so he sometimes turns to Transgendered men/women when he needs *ahem* …affection.

I’ll give you a minute to let all of that sink in.

When I found all of this out I immediately called my best friend, Adam. “Oh my gosh, CeCe!” he laughed, “Why does this stuff always happen to you?” I wanted to laugh too, but I couldn’t. I started to wonder why this guy (knowing all of his issues and baggage) saw me on the crosstown bus and thought I would be the type of girl who would date him. Could it be that he looked at me, with my yellow dress and my hair curled for the Easter holiday and thought to himself …that looks like a girl who wouldn’t mind dating a Homeless Tranny Chaser!

I mean, he didn’t even bother to lie to me, he laid all of this garbage out within 72 hours of getting my phone number and when I told him I truly wasn’t interested in talking to him anymore, he had the nerve to say “you know, with the right woman by my side I could really turn my life around…”

I’ve heard guys talk about women being “out of their league” for a variety of reasons like looks, profession or family background so I know they think about these things. I am a pretty open person. I’ve dated white collar and blue collar guys. I’ve dated men with and without degrees. I’ve dated men who had nice things and men who were struggling. I don’t walk around thinking I’m too good for anyone, but this is a case where I feel like he should have known that I was out of his league because until he addresses his homelessness and his attraction to women with a “little something extra” every girl in New York City is out of his league.

A man (protected by the veil of anonymity) left this comment on one of my posts the other day: as a tall man who takes care of his appearance (and teeth!) I just can’t take seriously a women who is overweight…I would never ever date a women who is overweight… poor men date overweight women, attractive men with means chose the hot ones. Is it my weight? Did he see me and think that because I’m a big girl I would be desperate enough to accept his lifestyle?

I have a couple of women I like to call my “Blogging Big Sisters” and I reached out to two of them for their take. They’re both beautiful New York City women and weight isn’t something they struggle with, so I thought maybe they’d give me their answers to my question: Are The Men I Attract a Reflection of… Me? Here’s what they said (you can read more on their blogs)

HowVeryLucky says: This is a topic I have been muddling over from the moment I received my very first e-mail communication upon re-entry to the online dating world. My profile hadn’t been up for twenty minutes before Summerskirts had written me. He was a married cross-dresser in search of a “special friend”. At first I take this all in stride. But over time, it starts to feel defeating. It becomes hard to keep your head above water. To remember all the wonderful things about yourself. You recite your mantra – if you have one (which I don’t, but OK) – I’m smart, pretty, gainfully employed, funny and, in a nutshell, a great catch. So why are the only guys playing the outfield (or even the infield for that matter) men that I would never consider dating? In the mirror of Internet dating, am I the reflection staring back at Mr. Too Old For Me Suburban Mom-Jeans? Suddenly I start to feel like my blue book value just went down by the thousands. I feel sad and disappointed and undesirable. And then I realize something else. Maybe it’s not a mirror. Maybe instead it’s a portrait or a work of art. Rather than allowing it to make me feel badly, I should be flattered that these men find me attractive and interesting enough to write, even though they’re not at all who I want. (read more here)

KB_IN_NYC says: Are the men I attract a reflection of….me? In a word, yes. But also….no. Let me explain. I believe wholeheartedly in the notion that what we put out is what we get back, and this is no different when it comes to attracting people. I seem to do pretty well (if I do say so myself) when it comes to friends, business relationships etc. The sticking point, as always, is dating and men. Two nights ago I went on a date. I wasn’t overly excited about it but we ended up having a really good time; he got a bottle of great wine, we ordered cheese, drank champagne. It really was all I could’ve asked for but still, I’m like Uhm. Not sure. I also discovered he has a hairy back (which is so a story for another time). Thing is I hate hairy backs, like completely hate them. And then I start to think, holy crap is this man with a hairy back a reflection of me? I’m kidding about the hairy back (kind of), but I think you get my point. We have a lot of stories that we tell ourselves, and it’s hard not to get despondent when we are not attracting the people that we would like, or feel we deserve. But, if I step back – if I stop with the voices and the self doubt – I know that I am not the sum total of the men who want to date me (or at least I hope to hell I’m not). Sure, maybe I’m attracting experiences that I don’t want but that’s more about me than them, isn’t it? (read more here)

Both of my Blogging Big Sisters bring up some good points and although I’m obviously still struggling with this, its nice to know that these things aren’t just happening to CeCe, The Big Girl.

To be honest, I think my ego is bruised. For me when the dating “mess” hits the fan, it always comes back to my weight. I start to tell myself that these things wouldn’t happen if I were thin. But maybe I should consider that maybe these “bottom feeder” types have nothing to lose so they’re just more forward and outrageous and therefore I encounter them more… but I don’t know.

Thoughts???

When a Man Gives You His Business Card: (Exhibit C)

Dating 12 Comments

After reading your comments and Tweets I decided to email the famous photographer. I already had my reservations because in my opinion he was passive in giving me his business card. But as some of you pointed out, maybe he was trying to gauge my interest. I decided to email him and our correspondence went as follows (I’m pink, he’s blue):

Hi (Famous Photog), It was lovely to meet you the other day… I can’t wait to see more of your work. My number is below, feel free to give me a call. –CeCe

Hi CeCe, It was very nice meeting you the other day as well. You have such a wonderful smile! Below are some links to some more of my work. I look forward to staying in touch, and hopefully seeing you some time soon. With warm regards, (Famous Photog)

I know I’m already holding the business card thing against him, but at this point I’m thinking his emails are pretty luke-warm, but before I could decide what to do I got another email from him….

Hi CeCe, I hope this finds you very well. I wanted to indicate a few new publications and an upcoming event that might interest you. Please feel free to pass this on to any of your friends or family that might be interested. Finally, I will be participating in a Haiti Benefit on Tuesday. Many photographers will show and discuss their photographs of the devastating earthquake that struck Haiti. If you, or anyone you know in the NY area, would be interested in attending, more information can be found at the website I’ve attached.

Okay, now I’m feeling like this is a networking connection. But maybe the benefit invite was a casual way to see me again? Either way, I couldn’t attend so I decided to email him and let him know….

Hi there, I got both of your emails. I looked at your links and your work is amazing (as I’m sure you already know). Thanks for the event info, I wish I could attend the Haiti benefit, but I have a previous engagement. Perhaps another time?

Thanks for your kind words regarding my work. I look forward to staying in touch and hopefully seeing you again some time soon. With warm regards, (famous photog)

Okay, seriously?! What’s up with this “staying in touch and hopefully seeing you again sometime soon” refrain? He’s said it in almost every email to me, but he hasn’t made moves to make it happen. He’s 1.) Passive or 2.) Not that into me. Both of which I predicted from the beginning! But for the sake of argument, I decided to email him as plainly as I knew how.

Sounds good! Just let me know when you’d like to get together.

Yeah. I never heard from him again.

So far I feel like my predictions about men who give their business cards are right. We’ll see if the Apple Store Guy will prove me wrong.

When a Man Gives You His Business Card (Exhibit B)

Dating 10 Comments

I had a question about my iPhone, so I ducked into the new Apple store on 5th avenue. While I was sauntering around the computers, waiting for assistance, I felt someone looking at me. When I looked up, I saw a man on the other side of the kiosk. He quickly looked away and as he fiddled around with a demo phone I realized that he looked really familiar.

We played the I-don’t-want-you-to-think-I’m-looking-at-you-even-though-I-am game for about three minutes and then I realized how I knew him.

I used to rent movies from the Tower Records on 66th and Broadway back when I first moved to New York. There was a guy there who would flirt with me and make casual comments about “taking me to dinner sometime”, at the time I was still insecure and somewhat leery of being hit on by men so I’d joke my way out of his advances. The guy checking me out in the Apple store was the Tower Records guy! But it was clear that he had no idea who I was. He was looking at me because he was attracted all over again (at least we know his taste in women hasn’t changed).

He made his way closer to me.

“I know you,” I said, looking up at him.

“You do?” he replied surprised.

I reminded him of where he used to work and he was shocked that I could place him. I wanted to say Of course I remember you, you hit on me every weekend for a year! but I thought that would have been awkward.

We chatted for a bit and then he reached into his shirt pocket. “Let me give you my card…”

“Thanks,” I said rolling my eyes internally.

Based on “Exhibit A” we know how I feel about men who give me their cards instead of asking me for my information. Although it was nice to see that this guy didn’t work in video retail anymore, I was annoyed that this whole business card thing was happening twice out of the blue.
After seeing everyone’s comments on the photographer I’d already decided to email him. Now I have two case studies.

I’ll email them both and we’ll see how these men handle themselves.

Any predictions?

When a Man Gives You His Business Card (Exhibit A)

Dating 39 Comments

It was a rainy Saturday afternoon and I was sitting at one of my favorite coffee shops with my laptop in front of me sipping a cup of chai tea.

Every time I looked up, I made eye contact with a man two tables over. He had shoulder-length hair, a khaki jacket and an ascot (yes, an ascot) poking through his white button down shirt. Although I could tell he was older, he had this European artsy style to him that was kind of cool, so when he passed my table and said “Hi” I smiled and said “Hello”.

“You have a beautiful smile,” he said. Then he gestured to the empty chair at my table, “May I?”

“You may,” I said, blushing.

He sat down, introduced himself and asked me a few casual questions. We bantered for a bit and then he asked, “what do you think of the photography here?”

“I love it,”

“I’m glad… its my work,” he said.

I looked that the tags on the bottom of each photo and it was the same name he’d used to introduce himself. Since my laptop was in front of me, I slyly Googled him, confirmed his identity and saw that in the photography world, he’s a really big deal (which is why I’m not using his name).

“Gosh you’re so beautiful,” he said as I quickly closed the Google tab in my browser. “I don’t want to keep you from whatever you’re doing, but here’s my card. I’d love to hear from you.”

I took his card, and mulled over the idea of emailing him.

As you may have noticed, I’m a very traditional girl. I like when the guy initiates phone calls, dates etc. so when a guy gives me his card it really throws me off. I feel like:

-He’s insecure.
-He’s willing to risk never hearing from me if I decide not to reach out.
-He’s not the type to take charge.

None of these things are good. In this situation, I might give the photographer a chance only because he did reference our age difference. If he’s insecure about my interest due to his age, then fine. I can reach out, establish that the age thing isn’t a big deal to me and then see if he takes charge from there.

But was I truly interested?

I put his business card in my wallet until I could decide.

Dating When a Man Gives his Business Card PlusSizePrincess

Do Men Really Love B*tches? (Part Two)

Dating 7 Comments

I was reading your comments from my first post on this and while there were a number of different opinions, they all made sense to me in their own ways. A few examples:

The EyeZuh said “I’m a firm believer that we shouldn’t generalize… maybe he just really REALLY likes you… even through your slight “mood” that morning 😉 that’s why he asked you to lunch… in hopes of making u feel better! btw… did u go?”

Gina said “y’know… as much as men complain about how difficult we are, and all that, I think they are as guilty of liking The Bad Girl as we are of being attracted to Bad Boys.”

FatGirlsOpinion said “I think (men) just want what they cant have.”

I can rationalize this situation with those opinions and some of the others that were left on the last post (p.s. I didn’t go to lunch with him, but I did let him bring me something back). To be perfectly honest, when I first mentioned Daniel, I didn’t think he would warrant a second post. I assumed he would eventually understand that I wasn’t interested and move on. But, he’s still at it!

He continues to come by to annoy flirt with me and every b*tchy thing I do to deter him seems to be working against me. I understand a guy “wanting what he cant have” etc. but I’m not being cute or coy. I wish you all were here to see how little attention I give to Daniel (especially in comparison to how I act towards Robert). As I mentioned last week, this guy doesn’t really make conversation and he cracks the same corny “jokes” every time he comes by my desk. He’s a good guy, but engaging him takes too much work on my part and that’s not fun for me.

I really thought I was doing a good job of “shutting him down” when he didn’t stop by my desk on Wednesday or Thursday. But then Friday afternoon, he parked himself in front of my desk. As he asked me vague questions like “what’s goin’ on?”, “are you glad its Friday?” etc. I didn’t let my eyes leave my computer screen, I gave him one word answers and I barely grunted at his (bad) jokes. But ten minutes later he was still there! When I would say funny/rude things to him, he’d laugh, start to walk away but then he’d come back to ask me another random question.

After a while I figured if I stayed quiet, maybe he’d leave. For a few seconds, he didn’t say anything either, but instead of leaving, he started shuffling his feet and pacing around my desk. My stomach got tight. The way he was acting looked familiar but I couldn’t place it. Then it hit me: This is exactly how Robert used to act when he first started asking me out… this can not be happening! I could hear Daniel take a deep breath.

“So what are you doing this weekend?” he said.

“I’m going to dinner with a friend,” (“friend” = Robert, but he didn’t need to know that).

“Cool… cool…” Daniel continued to shuffle his feet, “Well, I was thinking about going to a beer tasting on Saturday. I don’t know if that’s something you’d be into….”

“That sounds like fun, but I’m not a beer drinker,” I replied. (Which is the truth, I hate beer) “But have fun, let me know how it goes.”

“Cool, I will” he replied and with that he finally left.

I’m at such a loss here. I feel like if I’m friendly, Daniel is going to take it the wrong way, but when I’m a b*tch he still takes it the wrong way. This all happened this past Friday, so maybe things will be different this week….

What Do Men Think of Big Women?

Dating 192 Comments

Yesterday I decided to get my hair blown out and straightened (not the smartest decision considering its raining today, but whatever.) The woman who does my hair moved to a unisex hair salon in Harlem, so I made my way over to see her.

It was a Sunday and the place was more or less empty. I was on one end of the salon getting my hair done and on the other end a barber stood by watching another barber cut his clients hair. I didn’t pay much attention to them until I needed to go to the ladies room.

I had to walk between the three men in order to get the the bathroom. As I approached them, I became slightly self conscious because the back of my hair was bone straight, while the front was a curly mess on the top of my head. “Excuse me,” I said as I slipped between the two barbers. “No problem, darling…” one of them said giving me a grin.

When I emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later and had to slip past them again. The men went completely silent and I could feel three sets of eyes on me. Even the guy getting his hair cut, who had his back to me, found a way to check me out in the mirrors reflection. Then one of the men said something that I couldn’t hear and the other two grunted in agreement, “…see you’re my kinda dude,” one of the barbers said. “I was thinking the same damn thing!”

Making my way back to my chair, I wanted so badly to know what was said, since it obviously pertained to me. Were they talking about my unruly hair? Or perhaps something else… Although I couldn’t see who was saying what, I kept my ears peeled as they continued to talk on the other side of the room. As the conversation swelled I heard things like:

“Mmm a big woman, that’s me right there. I really don’t like them skinny. Not super fat either. But Big? That’s sexy”

“I dated a big girl once… she was big but real pretty” I bet her $100 she couldn’t lose 20 pounds in a month. She said she could, but then she 

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Do Men Really Love B*tches?

Dating 10 Comments

I am a classic flirt. Hair twirling, giggling, eyelash batting… that’s me. But lately, I’ve found myself in the middle of a compare/contrast experiment that has me second guessing the way I interact with men.

There are two guys in my office, Robert and Daniel. Robert needs no introduction. Daniel is a new development. Daniel is nice, tall, kinda cute… but he’s boring! Basically, I’m not interested. When Robert stops by my desk, we talk easily. When Daniel comes by, he obviously wants to talk (and in the beginning I tried, I really did!) But a conversation with Daniel falls flat pretty quickly. I’ll say something and instead of adding his thoughts, he says “I hear ya'” and he doesn’t make actual conversation (i.e. what did you do this weekend?) instead he asks vague questions like “what’s going on?” which I find annoying. A typical conversation with Daniel goes like this:


Daniel: What’s going on?

Me: Nothing much. (My fingers clicking over my keyboard).

Daniel: Cool… Cool. (He leans on my desk). You workin’ hard, or hardly workin’?

Me: *Deep Sigh* Shouldn’t I be asking you that?

Daniel: (laughs) You know I just like to bother you, right?

Me: (fake laugh) Yeah, I know.

Daniel: Alright, I’m going to leave you alone now. (He walks away)

These types of interactions have been going on for a while now, and last Thursday, I was just not in the mood. It was 9:30am, I was busy and instead of my usual fake laugh, I gave Daniel a blank stare and asked (semi-jokingly) “are you still here?” Daniel said something like “Ouch!” before walking away with a chuckle.

Around 11am, Robert came by my desk to tell me something. I happened to let out a small giggle (and maybe I tossed my hair) right as Daniel passed my desk. I felt so guilty for chatting it up with Robert after being such a b*tch to Daniel. I decided that maybe I should apologize to Daniel before the end of the day, but at 1pm Daniel called… and offered to buy me lunch!

Its like, the more I try to shut down the situation with Daniel, the more it gets pushed to the next level.

Is it true what they say… do men really love bitches?