It was a rainy Saturday and I was meeting one of my oldest friends for lunch.
Kate and I grew up together and both moved to New York right after high school. While I’ve spent the years since doing my best to keep my life in order, Kate’s luck changed when she was swept off of her feet by a wealthy business man during her shift at a restaurant downtown. Three years later she sits across from me with her second child in her tummy and her first child coloring to my right.
The first time Kate was pregnant, I found myself biting my lip a lot in order to keep quiet and this time would be no different. You see, when a skinny girl gets pregnant, she complains about her body (as she should) but often times her complaints are things I deal with on a daily basis.
“Augh,” she cries out “I can’t believe I can feel my stomach in my lap!”
“Wow… that’s insane” I reply flatly. Then I look down at my stomach which isn’t exactly out of my lap.
I don’t think Kate realizes what she’s doing, the sensations that come with being larger are new to her while I have been used to working around my size for some time. I’ve committed to being active and not letting my weight or size hold me back, but for Kate her size renders her helpless.
“I’m too hot to do anything… I cant believe I let myself get this big!”
I nod, fanning myself with a menu.
Lately I’ve been trying to strengthen my core, so I started taking yoga with an instructor who is very sensitive to my needs. She and I make sure that I adjust myself using the blocks and pads provided so that I can get the same workout as anyone else in the room. I cant help but think of this as Kate tells me:
“My doctor told me to go into ‘child’s pose’ and I looked at her like she was crazy! I mean… my belly was basically touching the floor– how am I supposed to manage child’s pose?”
I decide not to give her a few pointers.
The most frustrating part about having a skinny pregnant friend is when they complain about weight gain… when they gain 80 pounds but still weigh less than you do. Kate’s heaviest weight while pregnant is actually a fitness goal of mine.
Interestingly enough, in the back of my mind, getting pregnant is a weight loss tool. My plus size friends who have had children all boast of how much weight they lost during pregnancy.
I guess life is funny that way.