I know my confidence is growing when this happens:
Warm weather comes… and I put away my sweaters.
For many years, I wore hoodies and sweaters all year round in an effort to hide my body. If you happened to see a girl walking around in the blazing heat on the 4th of July, wearing a maxi dress and a long sleeve cardigan… that was me. My bad.
But each summer, the more my self confidence grew, the easier it became to get dressed. I learned to show my arms, my legs and eventually wear a bikini at the beach!
After my health scare and weight loss, I’m still fat (fine with me!) but I’m the smallest I’ve ever been as an adult (I have mixed feelings on this). I’m surprised (and annoyed) to find out that body insecurity can show up for me at any size.
As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, the changes in my body have pros and cons. I’m not asking anyone to feel sorry for me, but I do want you to know that losing weight did not make all of my problems go away.
I thought I had “done the work” all the way… but maybe not.
White Skirt: Here | Plus Size Camo Top: Here
White Skirt: Here | Plus Size Camo Top: Here
This summer is bringing back some of my old anxieties around showing my body in the summer months.
I figured it out because I’ve been wearing a lot of turtlenecks this winter and as the weather is warming up here in New York City, I’m finding myself wanting to continue wearing them. I realized I’ve been finding comfort in the layers and long sleeves that winter requires.
So, what’s a girl to do?
I remember how oppressive it felt to cover my body in unnecessary layers each summer and I didn’t want to feel that way again.
Well lucky for me, I was able to read this article on how to find the confidence to show my arms.
So, I decided that I’ve come too far on my confidence journey to turn back. I folded up my turtlenecks, put them away for the season and then I put on this cute plus size white skirt, a tee shirt and forced myself out of the house.
This outfit is from this adorable EV1 collection from Ellen Degeneres at Walmart!
I got the skirt in a size 18 and I wore it high on my waist for the “mini skirt” feel (I was going ALL the way in). If you want to skirt to be knee length, I would suggest sizing up so that it lays well in the front and sits nicely on the wider part of your waist/hips.
I wanted this plus size camo tee to fit like a baby doll shirt, so I sized down on this and got an XL. Walking around NYC is no joke, so I through on a comfy pair of sneakers.
Instead of picking my body apart, I focused on how I loved feeling the warm sun on my skin, I loved feeling light and free without layers and I am thankful for the person who invented anti chafing balm!
It was a great day that got me out of my own head and boosted my confidence.
My confidence journey isn’t perfect, but I’m grateful that it continues to move forward and evolve.
Do you have to work harder for confidence in the summer?
You are gorgeous and the outfit is cute.
I am struggling, too, with learning to love my body at all sizes, and with my feelings about weight loss. I both want to lose weight, and am angry that I feel I have to. Don’t know what the answer to that is, at least not yet. I’m also exhausted at the very thought of having to go through all that again …
Me too. All year round my cardigans, blazers, jean jackets are my “security blanket.” But a week ago I was in West Palm Beach, FL wearing sleeveless dresses and shorts showing arms, thighs, and legs and didn’t even think twice about it. But I think it was because I was on vacay and out of town. It’s getting hot we can’t be sweating and passing out just to hide our bodies. We Can Do This!
I honestly don’t think about my weight until someone says something but even then I’m like ok. I’m so busy with life other annoyances (hello doctoral student) on top of me just loving who I am I don’t struggle as much. If it is it’s a mental battle and it doesn’t stay long. I do like to read these things because it’s ok to feel a way ans it’s okay to struggle. It’s knowing how to bounce back.
With you. I am a winter lover, hate heat, have severe light sensitivity, I have grown from 117, to a massive 250+. I am developing weight related health issues but I am not yet a diabetic.
You write well and so truthfully. Body confidence has been missing from my life for decades. I am 69. 117 was my lowest weight in college. 123 was my weight at my pre-marital physical. And as every heavy gal can, I could tell you my weight at other points in my life.
I have not worn a bathing suit in public for decades. I only go sleeveless at home. I buy only 3/4 length tops or full length sleeves. I wear full length pants. I own but rarely wear dresses. I do not want the struggle of tights or stockings and won’t go bare legged.
Keep up your encouraging words and thank you. I think you are a beautiful woman inside and out.
Kuma
I love the outfit! But I can help but notice it’s too short to get away with chub rub shortees. Of course the shorter ones roll up and are useless and the longer ones need the skirt to be so long or you see them. How did you manage it?
Please- but being condescending or rude- I just know that is the main reason I don’t wear skirts. If my thighs touch I know some time in the day I’ll start the bow legged cowboy walk to avoid the discomfort. Suggestions?
I truly enjoy reading your take on life. I’m in my mid 50’s and would have given anything to have 1/2 the confidence you have as I ‘grew up’.
Cute! What anti-chafing balm?
It’s too cool and foggy in San Francisco; our summer weather (usually) doesn’t show up until September.