Plus Size Fashion: Are Big Girls too “Picky”?

Hi, what a lovely post. I will be honest about moi . Yes I am picky and it has nothing to do with my weight. I will try to fit that Chole t-shirt and other clothes that is “suppose” to be my size (16/18) if I like it. I cant stand that some of the clothing in my size aren’t always cute. I am picky in life that’s just me, from food to men, I think its valid because when you have a vivid fashion sense and you are limited, it gives you more of a look at the fashion world and you start to crave what they have. urban outfitters, yeah I am talking about you! But see, I am glad that I have found plus size stores ( Jibri, Pauline et Julie,LALA Belle and Carmakoma) I support them and give them all of my money so I can look fab. I let people speak and assume but they honestly need to worry about their style and stop hating on mine. ( this is how I was told that I was picky, they were mad that it came in my size not there’s) Boo bye… leave me alone I told her.

I’d be picky even if I were not plus sized but, as someone who is, I’m even more particular about things like materials and their fit. For example, one designer makes a lot of pretty clothes but uses a poly/elastane mix in most of them. They’re expensive and the material has too much give for me so I do have to think long and hard about making a purchase, if any. Sometimes, looking at what’s out for purchase, I wish that while making trendy stuff in our size, there were more of basic pieces for a wider range of plus size bodies. Skinny jeans make me look like an ice cream cone and skirts that are only 24 inches long, they’re just too short (especially sitting down). Give me some bootcut pants or trousers please for short people and a few more inches on the skirt! lol

I will say however that plus size clothing has improved by leaps and bounds since I was a fat teen and college age student. Back then plus size tops were covered with glitter, sequins (not in a good way), palm trees and parrots, amongst other silly crap. Think Golden Girls style for fat people. ugh. lol

The price and wish factors used to be the big hurdles for me too, but one day I realized that it was very unlikely that I would ever lose all the weight, and I was tired of denying my inner fashionista her time to shine. These days if I like something, then I buy it. Looking good makes me feel good. And nothing makes me feel better than someone saying “I love your outfit” because big girls can look fly and sexy too!

Thank you for perfectly breaking it down! I understand the hesitations we have, but it is important to work through them, both for our own personal style and to show the industry we mean business (quite literally!)

Great article! Yes I am picky, but I am most definitely a shopper! I have always (to my husbands dismay) been comfortable spending $200-300 in one shopping session because for me it’s all about the quality and fit (and having my tailor on speed dial). However, as a 50 year old curvy girl, I find it have to week through a lot of age “inappropriate” clothing to get to a great piece that’s on trend, doesn’t look matronly, and can be worn next season too!

Hmmm. I think that this is a woman’s issue, not necessary a PLUS size woman’s issue. I know women of all sizes who spend tons of money on clothes and almost as many women of all sizes who spend as little as possible on clothes. Because we have fewer options, it may show more but there are countless designers of who don’t make plus sizes who go out of business because people aren’t buying their clothes. And some of their clothes are cute! I think it’s complicated but I don’t think it’s necessary a plus size issue. I spend alot on clothes and I love higher priced brands. BUT I almost never buy anything unless it’s on sale (trust me, everything usually goes on sale, contrary to what the retail industry would have you believe) and I would be that way no matter my size.

I’m sorry, what was the question? I’m too distracted by how beautiful you look in this outfit! Gorgeous!!!

OMG, your first point totally nailed me. I always think I’m going to lose weight and don’t want any more “fat clothes.” You hit the nail on the head with your assertion that this is self body shaming. Leading a fit lifestyle, which I have been now for three months, takes a lot of work. And to do that work, you have to believe that you are worth it. We need to treat ourselves as if we have worth at EVERY weight. And that means we deserve to look and feel our best. Thanks for this blog!

Haha, my GB comment was not spam. It’s Alaina, Alex’s friend and I think gwynniebee is perfect for women who want to be stylish, have a complete wardrobe, don’t want to spend a lot of money, and fluctuate in size. It’s the perfect solution to this problem. I’m reposting without my tacky referral code (thought it was worth a shot though).

“Over time I realized that waiting until I reached to a certain weight to buy nice clothes is a form of body shaming myself.”
*blinks*
OMG…. I’ve never thought of it like this!! But it’s so true.

I’m a seamstress, so I think long and hard before buying clothes. It’s so easy for me to make them myself that I have a hard time purchasing clothes. Right now, I have $75 in Modcloth gift certificates, but I can’t bring myself to spend it because I can easily copy most of the clothes. Also, I’m having gastric sleeve in a few months, so I really won’t be able to fit into anything I purchase now!

Well, if you don’t buy clothes to suit the weight you are, even when your weight is changing, you will look sloppy (as I noticed when I looked in the mirror wearing too big pants – it was embarrassing). This is the best excuse to shop, if you need one. lol Or hire a tailor…I wish there were more tailors around, they are a dying species.

I totally can relate to this post. I also have the issue with take it off the hanger and just try it on. I am way to picky when i look. I have started when I shop just picking things up i normally wouldn’t and I usually really love those items.. crazy.. take a leap of faith.. it works

This is very helpful! I too wait till I lose weight for nice things but blow money on other items, especially if they don’t show! You are right that is a type of fat shaming

10 years ago, I had a real self-esteem issue and I was about 60 pounds less than I am now. I also had a very low paying job so those $5 shirts were all I could afford at the time, and I found a way to make them last somehow. Once I was able to afford higher quality clothes, I struggled with that first point you made. It took me a long time to convince myself that I deserve quality clothes NOW and not “when I lose the weight.” I can see how some women can be too picky but then again, look at the choices we had! It wasn’t until stores like Torrid came along that really changed the fashion shopping experience for plus size women <3

This is soooooo true lol. I realized all of this a few years ago & I sometimes still struggle with the “I Wish” lol, but eBay has been my good friend in helping me with the struggle. Very good read lol

I agree with some of your points. I do feel that the title and overall tone is off base.

The fashion industry for many, many years had seen plus size women as an afterthought. It’s like people larger than ‘standard size’ should be grateful for the scraps we’re given without questioning. This is something society has placed on plus size people not just in clothes but unsolicited health advice, attention, & backhanded compliments.

People of all sizes deserve to feel great about themselves in their clothes. ‘Standard size’ shoppers want good quality garments with a nice fit for THEIR body at an affordable price. Why shouldn’t plus size people expect the same? Retailers mark up plus size women’s fashions, but do no such thing for men. Voicing complaints and voting with your money is the only way to get these companies to take these needs into consideration.

My biggest gripe: jeans and trousers in general. I may be a size 20, but that doesn’t mean my legs are like tree trunks. I have had awful trouble finding a pair of skinny jeans that both fit my waist, tush and legs.

That was…

Until Saturday.

I visited H&M and tried on a pair of black skinny jeans that looked too “small ” & I automatically dismissed them…but, when I tried them on: HEAVEN!

Viola. They fit so perfect. They are the Slim Skinny Fit. In a size 22.

Let’s see how they hold up…

I don’t think we’re not anymore pickier than thin women are. I know I shop at all the stores, but I am a bargain shopper. I use coupons and great sales to buy the more expensive ($75+) items. I also have pieces that I can mix and match and make fly looks with. I’m a diva, but I’m frugal diva.

I’m from australia in sydney and i can tell well i am picky . We have ONE shop here City Chic thats it there is nothing else – where as you guys in the US the amount is limitless you can find good quality designers who are making garments for the bigger gal . How many times did i see an outfit and went OH MY with a modification i can rock that – but i can’t read a pattern and therefore my sewing machine only does a few things . I have though started to make plus size tops with embellishments on them and the aim for this year is to make about 10 and see how i go selling them – are we picky – i think to an extend yes – why can’t we all have nice fashion no matter what size ?

Sometimes plus size clothing is exactly the same as ‘average size’ clothing, yet often, the cut of clothing that’s perfect for someone who is size 8 is not as flattering on someone who is a size 18 – how does this make you feel?

We have a right to be as picky as skinny people.

Yep. Price plays a major role with a lot of us. I have a few curvy friends who would rather shop cheaply for a one time outfit instead of building and maintaining a nice selection of pieces. However, I have tried to love the skin I’m in and shop for the size I’m at and on sale. I try to keep it under $100, but sometimes I will splurge. I can’t always shop cheaply and expect it to last. But, on the flip side… I bought a few cute suits that are now too small and I keep saying, “Oh, I will just get them tailored to fit my new shape.” I never do. LOL.

I think it’s great to be “picky” no matter what your size – too many girls out there choose clothing based on what they see and not what works best for them… ie. leggings are not pants people!! *just my personal opinion*… While finding amazing, quality, and stylish outfits may have been difficult in the past, the accessibility of online shopping and plus size bloggers willing to share their secret finds combined with the understanding that there is a huge market for (what is now considered) plus size have significantly increased my shopping horizons. This has been tough on my bank account, but only because I literally never bought clothes before – honestly there was really nothing worth having. Now I get deliveries all the time, filled with wonderful goodies from all over the world!

Yeah I’ve heard this nonsense before too. Right along with the argument that plus size women are the problem with plus size fashion. In so many words, the reason there aren’t more plus size clothing options is because plus size women won’t support those designers financially. Which is just a ludicrous argument, but that’s a whole ‘nother battle.

But to answer your question: “Are big girls too picky?” – No
Now if you asked ” Are big girls picky?” my answer is yes.

I have a problem with the negative connotation of that word “too”. As if we are asking too much when we shop. And on that note, excuse me, but….isn’t that the whole point of shopping? To PICK and CHOOSE what you want to spend your money on?

I don’t think we’re too picky…I think it’s exhausting to look for clothing. So much online ordering and returning, searching high and low. I’m not particularly “fashionable” but I often have a hard time even finding basics like plain ol’ black pants. As far as not buying stuff, for price, I have definitely said I’ll “wait until I lose weight,” but this goes back to a feeling of not “deserving” nice things…which, really, has been reinforced by all those that don’t design for us. I also have the affliction because of the difficulty finding stuff of settling for stuff I really don’t like and making do. It’s hard to readjust. I did just lay out some coin today for some things…without looking at price (knowing it was all within my means). I am definitely going to seek out some of the independents you mention!

I have done this my whole adult life. I have bought department store bargain stuff because i was going to go on that diet and lose weight. My weight has stayed the same for 20 years. Time to pamper myself.

You’re kidding right? I have spent my entire morning scrolling through page after page of tent dresses and binbag tops on numerous websites only to find too short, too frumpy, too high-necked apparel and an empty shopping basket. We are allowed to be picky. If thin girls don’t look good, no ones cares. Hardly a noticeable setback. If big girls don’t look good, she’s letting herself go, she needs to lose weight, oh mummy how many babies is that lady having, the list goes on. We want to look good because if we don’t, we aren’t allowed to live.

I like what you guys are up too. Such smart work and reporting! Keep up the excellent works guys I have incorporated you guys to my blogroll. I think it’ll improve the value of my web site :).

I genuinely value your work, Great post.