Model Behavior

I was fooling around online when I ran across an online group for plus size models. It was dedicated to fashion and fierceness for big girls… I joined immediately.

After uploading some glamorous shots of myself I forgot about the group, until one day I received an email from one of the members.

Hey… didn’t I meet you at SATELLITE?

I clicked into her profile and it was Dana! The Jill Scott look-alike we met a few weeks back. She and I both use instant messenger at our offices and we began chatting daily. We’d been chatting for about a week when she invited me to REWIND, another BBW party. I felt like with every new plus size girl I met, I was told of a new BBW party. So far I had heard of BBW parties in Connecticut, Philadelphia and of course there was DIVAS. I had just gone to SATELLITE and from there I was being invited to REWIND, I couldn’t help but say yes.

That Saturday I kept it simple: dark wash jeans with rhinestone embellishments on the back pockets and a black low cut top. I carried a vintage black clutch and pulled my hair back with a black and white polka-dot headband.

Dana was interesting to go out with. While Paige and Reese would jump right onto the dance floor, Dana seemed more concerned with playing it cool. She spent a good portion of the night standing against the wall with an aloof look on her face, taking dramatic sips of her tequila sunrise. I didnt feel comfortable on the dance floor alone, so I was at her mercy patiently waiting until she felt like letting loose.

Sometimes standing alone on or near a dance floor intensifies the fact that I don’t have a boyfriend. I love dancing and its painful to constantly hope that someone will want to dance with me. Standing there that night I felt the desire for a boyfriend strongly.

Finally Dana took a step onto the dance floor, I followed her and once we went out, there was no turning back. Again, the DJ was on fire, a welcome change from the old predictable mixes at DIVAS. We were working it, and as we rocked and swayed I looked up just as a group of extremely tall men walked into the club. I briefly locked eyes with one in a blue shirt and quickly looked away.

“Oh my Gosh!” I hissed into Dana’s ear, “there are the cutest, tallest guys behind you. We have to talk to them!” As the words came out of my mouth I confused myself because I don’t ever approach men.

Dana kept dancing and turned in a circle to get a good look at them, when she turned back to me her eyes lit up, “they are cute… which one do you want?”

“Blue Shirt” I said without hesitation.

My stomach was in knots as Dana danced over to one of Blue Shirt’s friends. They immediately started moving in sync which left me standing with my heart beating as I thought of the right thing to say.

I took a step closer to Blue Shirt.

“Hi!” I yelled over the music.

He just looked at me.

I wanted to die.

After a few seconds, his friend nudged him. “Oh, Hi!…sorry” he said with a laugh. I laughed too (for lack of anything better to do). His name was William and he was at REWIND with a bunch of his buddies from college as part of a bachelor party. He was at least 6 foot 5, with a slim frame and he was super cute.

As he spoke to me something happened; I felt like I was underwater, the club began to move in slow motion and as he leaned down and spoke into my ear between sips of Heineken, it took everything in me to focus on both my breathing, and what he was saying.

This is the guy I have been waiting to meet.

We danced and talked and danced some more. Eventually we realized we were off away from our friends. “I should get you back to your girl” he said.

Then he asked “Would it be okay if I called you sometime?”

I wanted to scream, YES YES Oh My Gosh, YES!

Instead I said “sure” and put my number in his phone.

I really wanted to ask for his number too, in case his phone got run over by a taxi or something before he had a chance to call me and I never saw him again, but I held back.

He found me at the end of the night gave me a kiss on the cheek and said he’d call me soon.

“Soon” could not come fast enough.