The moment I held my hands over the keyboard to type this post, my eyes teared up a little bit.
I think most of you know that I moved to NYC to do Musical Theater. All I ever wanted to do was sing and dance on Broadway, I spent so much of my life in the acting/performing world that I was conditioned to see myself through the eyes of casting directors.
Remember my Fat Girl Flashback? Well, being an NYC actress was 1,000 times worse.
I was constantly told that in order to fit in, I needed to change. I felt like what I wanted to be couldn’t happen because of what I looked like. It was so painful to see that the people who were successful at what I wanted to do looked nothing like me… they didn’t have my hair, my skin and they definitely didn’t have my body.
I felt like my body was betraying me and I was uncomfortable in my skin.
So what changed? How did I become comfortable in my own skin?
Looking back there were three changes that made a huge difference for me.
Dress: Fashion to Figure | Bag: Vintage | Nails: Revlon Colorstay Gel
If Something Doesn’t Make You Feel Good… Run!!!
I can remember leaving an audition and feeling absolutely horrible about myself. I knew I had done a good job, but the casting director made it very clear that while he loved my voice and personality my size just “wasn’t what he was looking for”. I started to pray about it and felt a peace when I realized that while chasing my dreams should be challenging, it shouldn’t be consistently painful. That’s when I made the tough decision to walk away. I got an office job and started this blog to keep myself creative. This blog was the space where I could talk about my relationship with my body and ultimately where I learned to love my body. Fast forward a few years and this blog is the reason my email inbox is full of casting directors reaching out to me instead of the other way around. It’s the reason I’ve done fun TV projects like The Wendy Williams Show and The Rachael Ray Show. I may not be on broadway, but I’m connecting with an audience everyday, on my own terms.
I’ve had to step away from jobs, people and relationships that didn’t make me feel good (read more about that here). Again, being constantly challenged is something I’m down for… nothing comes easy and I’m aware of that. But when things are consistently painful, that’s not healthy for me.
Go Where the Love is…
I have an awful habit of trying to win people over. It’s so weird!
If someone thinks I’m just amazing and awesome, I kind of shoo them away. But if someone is luke-warm about me? Oh… it’s on!! I’ll spend time trying to prove to them why they should be on fire about me.
It makes no sense, I know.
So, this year my one of my mantras has been “go where the love is…” If you follow me on instagram you may notice that I’ve been in California a lot this year. Some of you even asked if I had moved lol Well, I haven’t moved, but that’s part of “going where the love is” for me. My life is in NYC right now, but my support system is in California, so if I can get work done and be around my family, why not?
When it comes to careers, I think the same thing is true. I wasn’t getting love in the theater world, but when I started this blog thousands of you embraced me. I stuck with the love and as I mentioned above, professional doors opened up to me with ease.
Is there something in your life that you do really well? Would you want to do it more often… or even make a living doing it? Follow the love… don’t be afraid!
Dress: Fashion to Figure | Bag: Vintage | Shoes: Lane Bryant
Don’t Make Perfect the Enemy of Good…
Part of me “going where the love is…” in my work is plus size fitness. I love making plus size work out videos for you and for the past few months, you guys have been asking me when new ones are coming out. But I’ve been making perfect the enemy of good.
After losing 55 pounds, I’ve gained some of it back (If you noticed my puffy face, thanks for not saying anything lol).
I’ve worked hard to be comfortable at any size, so gaining some weight isn’t the end of the world for me– you see me in this mini dress, right?
BUT I convinced myself that I wasn’t worthy to inspire you guys with fitness videos if I wasn’t in a perfect place.
*cringe*
I’ve been hiding my gifts because of what I look like… (and here’s why I teared up when I started to write this post) if I’m honest with myself, that makes me no better than the casting directors who I ran away from back in the day!
*double cringe*
Because I wasn’t perfect, I kept myself from doing Good work.
We are put on this earth to do good work and to touch peoples lives in our own small ways… When I remember that and move forward, I feel like a rockstar in my own skin.
What about you… do you feel comfortable in your skin?
Reading this article has convinced me that I have a loooong way to go to feel comfortable in my own skin. Guess I gotta keep working on it!!
We all do, hopefully together!! xx
Reading this article has convinced me that I have a loooong way to go to feel comfortable in my own skin. Guess I gotta keep working on it!!
We all do, hopefully together!! xx
For one you look absolutely amazing in that mini dress ? and iam now just realizing because of your posts and positive attitude…. Iam who iam…lost weight or gained…im still that funny, lovable person my husband loves.. Friends say the same too…so thank you Cece for you being you and helping me see iam who iam…you go girl ?
For one you look absolutely amazing in that mini dress ? and iam now just realizing because of your posts and positive attitude…. Iam who iam…lost weight or gained…im still that funny, lovable person my husband loves.. Friends say the same too…so thank you Cece for you being you and helping me see iam who iam…you go girl ?
I love that mini–it is so flattering on you! And those adorable shoes–I don’t usually wear heels–but I would wear the hell out of them!!! I admire your fashion sense!
I love that mini–it is so flattering on you! And those adorable shoes–I don’t usually wear heels–but I would wear the hell out of them!!! I admire your fashion sense!
Omg I understand completely. I’ve been feeling really down on myself for a few weeks now and I don’t know how to break out of this “I just don’t like me” mood.
Omg I understand completely. I’ve been feeling really down on myself for a few weeks now and I don’t know how to break out of this “I just don’t like me” mood.
Cece, your post came at the right time. Yesterday (Thursday) I attended a dance class with a friend who invited me. I love dance so I thought it’d be a great way to get some fitness in–something that I need to do more of. Well, I hated it. I couldn’t keep up because the instructor was going too fast, although, at times, he slowed down for me (and said so! He was nice but I felt embarrassed). I wanted to leave so badly. Later, when I got home, I broke down. I loathed myself; I hated that I was the fattest in the room. I even blamed my single status on my weight. There were many tears, and angry words from myself about myself. Now, generally, I like myself, I’m fine with being single (for now), but I realized that there’s deep-seated loathing. I know that the power is in my hands but sometimes I can’t muster the motivation to take action. And, when I do, I hate how I feel. Nevertheless, your post, this post, helped me to reflect on what acceptance and self-love means. Thank you! P.S. You look amazing!
Hugs to you!! xo
Cece, your post came at the right time. Yesterday (Thursday) I attended a dance class with a friend who invited me. I love dance so I thought it’d be a great way to get some fitness in–something that I need to do more of. Well, I hated it. I couldn’t keep up because the instructor was going too fast, although, at times, he slowed down for me (and said so! He was nice but I felt embarrassed). I wanted to leave so badly. Later, when I got home, I broke down. I loathed myself; I hated that I was the fattest in the room. I even blamed my single status on my weight. There were many tears, and angry words from myself about myself. Now, generally, I like myself, I’m fine with being single (for now), but I realized that there’s deep-seated loathing. I know that the power is in my hands but sometimes I can’t muster the motivation to take action. And, when I do, I hate how I feel. Nevertheless, your post, this post, helped me to reflect on what acceptance and self-love means. Thank you! P.S. You look amazing!
Hugs to you!! xo
Oh Cece, this post sounds so familiar (the little negative voice in my head)! I’ve been really struggling lately – just can’t get that voice to go away 🙁 I’m really, really trying to love the body I have…not an easy task! I have CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome – a nerve disease classified as the most painful known to science), as well as PCOS and a bunch of other chronic conditions. All combined, they’ve taken away my true passion – baking- which makes me so sad. I’m struggling with acceptance and body image issues. Thank you so very much for such a positive post…made me a little teary reading it. How did you do it (the acceptance)?? I’ve been working on that for nearly 4 years and it feels like I’m no closer than when I started. I always try to find the positive, but it’s exhausting trying to be strong all the time. Thank you so much for shooting a little more positivity my way – very much needed and appreciated!
Wow, thank you for sharing your story! xx
Oh Cece, this post sounds so familiar (the little negative voice in my head)! I’ve been really struggling lately – just can’t get that voice to go away 🙁 I’m really, really trying to love the body I have…not an easy task! I have CRPS (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome – a nerve disease classified as the most painful known to science), as well as PCOS and a bunch of other chronic conditions. All combined, they’ve taken away my true passion – baking- which makes me so sad. I’m struggling with acceptance and body image issues. Thank you so very much for such a positive post…made me a little teary reading it. How did you do it (the acceptance)?? I’ve been working on that for nearly 4 years and it feels like I’m no closer than when I started. I always try to find the positive, but it’s exhausting trying to be strong all the time. Thank you so much for shooting a little more positivity my way – very much needed and appreciated!
Wow, thank you for sharing your story! xx
Work that waist, you look amazing! Love the dress. It’s all a journey. Sometimes you’ll be up, sometimes you’ll be down, and tomorrow is always a new day.
Yuppp
Work that waist, you look amazing! Love the dress. It’s all a journey. Sometimes you’ll be up, sometimes you’ll be down, and tomorrow is always a new day.
Yuppp
Why is no one making a big deal out of that cute purse? It goes great with the dress
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We’re at this great moment where plus size women get to forge their own destinies and be pioneers, but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy or that the world won’t be cruel in its responses. Keep fighting the good fight!
LOL xoxo
Why is no one making a big deal out of that cute purse? It goes great with the dress.
We’re at this great moment where plus size women get to forge their own destinies and be pioneers, but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy or that the world won’t be cruel in its responses. Keep fighting the good fight!
LOL xoxo
Cece, your words can’t be more inspiring.
You have changed my life with several posts and then again here these words have changed everything for me.
Thank you so much, I wish I could return all that you do back to you.
Best of wishes and love.
Wow, thank you! xx
Cece, your words can’t be more inspiring.You have changed my life with several posts and then again here these words have changed everything for me.
Thank you so much, I wish I could return all that you do back to you.
Best of wishes and love.
Wow, thank you! xx
So reminiscent of my own story. I ran away from the theatre world because I was unconfident and not comfortable in my own skin. I’m working to rectify that and intend to work in the entertainment industry once I’ve traveled a bit. I really love the blog and the Youtube videos that led me here!
YAY for my YouTube subbies!! xo
So reminiscent of my own story. I ran away from the theatre world because I was unconfident and not comfortable in my own skin. I’m working to rectify that and intend to work in the entertainment industry once I’ve traveled a bit. I really love the blog and the Youtube videos that led me here!
YAY for my YouTube subbies!! xo
Touchingly beautiful. And that short dress WOWZA!
Thank you! xx
Touchingly beautiful. And that short dress WOWZA!
Thank you! xx
Thanks for sharing such personal thoughts! I love your message. I too am blogging my journey to self love. The writing process and the wonderful support from followers has truly helped me to be more body positive!
Ena https://prettyplusandproud.wordpress.com/
🙂
?❤️
Thanks for sharing such personal thoughts! I love your message. I too am blogging my journey to self love. The writing process and the wonderful support from followers has truly helped me to be more body positive!
Ena https://prettyplusandproud.wordpress.com/
🙂
?❤️
Love love love this post! Such a great way to focus on what makes you feel your best and how to share the love of your talents with others. Keep preaching and teaching! <3
Thanks doll
Love love love this post! Such a great way to focus on what makes you feel your best and how to share the love of your talents with others. Keep preaching and teaching! <3
Thanks doll
OH my goodness. This post really resonated with me on many levels. I too was interested in theater when I was in college and eventually walked away. Cece you post has many parallels in my life too. Thank you for writing this post. As a newbie to blogging this is inspiring. I just wrote a post about not giving up. We’ve all been there on and off the wagon. No ones perfect. What count’s is we don’t quit. You’re outfit is super flirty and cute too. Be blessed and continue to follow your heart. You can’t go wrong.
Thank you and yay for new blogs!!
Thanks!
OH my goodness. This post really resonated with me on many levels. I too was interested in theater when I was in college and eventually walked away. Cece you post has many parallels in my life too. Thank you for writing this post. As a newbie to blogging this is inspiring. I just wrote a post about not giving up. We’ve all been there on and off the wagon. No ones perfect. What count’s is we don’t quit. You’re outfit is super flirty and cute too. Be blessed and continue to follow your heart. You can’t go wrong.
Thank you and yay for new blogs!!
Thanks!
I would say, and not in a mean spirited “nah nah” way, but You Showed Them! Those casting directors that couldn’t see the wonderfulness that is you because they were blinded by their small-minded perception of “appropriate.” But in the end, you have a wonderful career and as you say, you are connecting with people, just in a different way…and who knows, someday that acting door MAY open for you again…until then just keep being you.
PS – are you wearing one nail color on one hand and another on the other?? GURL!!!
lol I was wondering if someone would catch that. If you follow me on snapchat, you know I’m testing some nail polishes for a future post/video… *shrugs*
I would say, and not in a mean spirited “nah nah” way, but You Showed Them! Those casting directors that couldn’t see the wonderfulness that is you because they were blinded by their small-minded perception of “appropriate.” But in the end, you have a wonderful career and as you say, you are connecting with people, just in a different way…and who knows, someday that acting door MAY open for you again…until then just keep being you.
PS – are you wearing one nail color on one hand and another on the other?? GURL!!!
lol I was wondering if someone would catch that. If you follow me on snapchat, you know I’m testing some nail polishes for a future post/video… *shrugs*
“Slow clap and standing ovation” This was great! Thanks for being so transparent and sharing this with us!
“Slow clap and standing ovation” This was great! Thanks for being so transparent and sharing this with us!
Hey Cece!! Great post!! I’ve been struggling a lot lately with feeling comfortable as I’m going through a fitness journey. I really needed to hear to go where the love is.
I’ve made being healthier a priority but I’m struggling with my family not being supportive and making shaming comments. Especially when it comes to my PCOS. They just do not understand the illness. Do you have any advice for people who think “eating less” is the only advice you need to lose weight?
Hey Cece!! Great post!! I’ve been struggling a lot lately with feeling comfortable as I’m going through a fitness journey. I really needed to hear to go where the love is.
I’ve made being healthier a priority but I’m struggling with my family not being supportive and making shaming comments. Especially when it comes to my PCOS. They just do not understand the illness. Do you have any advice for people who think “eating less” is the only advice you need to lose weight?
You are beautiful, CeCe.
You are beautiful, CeCe.
Really needed to read this post, Ce Ce remember no matter your state when advice comes from a place of love it can never be wrong. You rock and should definitley post more videos, you are awesome
Really needed to read this post, Ce Ce remember no matter your state when advice comes from a place of love it can never be wrong. You rock and should definitley post more videos, you are awesome
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Well I like what you said,As a junior i want some suggestion. Check my video.Thanks http://ceesty.com/wmofVm
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