A few years ago, my cousin dragged me to Webster Hall (I was 18, don’t judge me!) for “Ladies Night” which included an open bar and male dancers from 8-10pm. The idea of a naked sweaty stranger made me very uncomfortable, so I found a spot against the wall where I could sip my free screwdriver and watch the show from a safe distance.
The lights went down and a man wearing chaps and a tasselled thong came skipping, kicking and bucking onto the stage while the women in the building screamed their faces off. After a few minutes of hand stands and humping the ground, the stripper made his way to the edge of the stage. He licked his lips as he scanned the crowd and then he reached down and grabbed a big girl from the front row.
He lifted her off the ground and she tugged on her shirt to keep it from rising up as he twirled her in the air. She was screaming, the crowd was cheering and the stripper had a confident smirk on his face. He flipped her so that her legs were around his waist and then he slowly slid her to the ground and crawled between her legs. After a few minutes of simulating the missionary position he flipped her over onto her stomach. Then he pulled her pants down in the back, slid a banana into her… um, cheeks and ate it. I almost spit out my drink.
For the rest of the night, I must have seen at least five big girls get called onto the stage. Seeing a pattern, I made sure I stayed waaay in the back, because there was no way I was going up there.
Fast Forward to this past weekend. I was on the Lower East Side for a co-workers birthday party when a guy slid up to dance with me, “Imma work on this right here!” he said (to my chest). He leaned into my ear and whispered, “You know I’m a stripper, right?” Then he grinned and lifted his shirt to show his six pack stomach. I guess, because I’m a big girl, that was the moment when I was supposed to get excited, but I just got scared that he’d pull out a banana and try to… never mind.
Just when I thought that I was imagining the stripper/big girl connection, my friend Maya referenced a friend of ours as having stripper tendencies. “Oh, CeCe you know how he always makes himself available to the girls who no one is really checking for? He’s like… a stripper! No offense, but strippers always seek out the big girl in the back of the room ’cause they know that she’ll appreciate the attention.”
No offense taken, she was right.
My observation is that strippers get the biggest reaction from the biggest girls and so they gravitate to us. They also get a reaction from the crowd when they’re lifting and flipping us because– well, it’s pretty impressive!
Although strippers aren’t my cup of tea, I don’t knock anyone big or small who enjoys them. I guess in the back of my mind I just wonder if they feed into the big girl stereotype of desperation (which is something I’ve talked about before). Anyway, all I can do is sound the alarm, for better or worse, strippers are drawn to big girls like a moth to a flame (and if that “moth” is carrying a banana… run!)
Girl, you think that's bad, a porn star hit on me once. Yes, a porn star. FYI,this is Lisa, just didn't want my full name and porn linked up on a google search, LOLLLLL).
I'll never look at a man eating a banana the same way again! Great post as always 🙂
OMG!!! This is soooo true. My friends and I used to have a lil girls night out at a local strip club that would have male dancers once a month and lemme tell you they definitely flock to the biggest and the homeliest girls FIRST! You right, it all has to do with them thinking that she'll swoon or spend the most money. I'd be a target in this place until they realize that I wasn't about to fall over and die because they came over and gyrated in front of me.
I just choked on my gum!!! I am sorry I cannot stop laughing, because I keep seeing butt crack & bananas!!
I always get hit on by women. Straight women!!! I don't understand it. I do not give off a "man vibe" in any way, so I do not understand it. But whenever I am out I always find myself having to ward off women that want to grind with or on my. Odd
I've never really found male strippers sexy (well, their performances at least)…I find them more funny than anything! I would have been mortified if a stripper ate a banana out of my ass!
A banana + an ass= badd idea..
I have not seen any male stripper(s) performance personally, but I know i just won't like it and the more stories like this I hear, it makes me wanna disown anyone that tries hire one for any event for me in the future..LOL
That they hone in on the plain/big girls just makes me so sad for some reason. Like they're throwing us a bone (literally). I'd rather they stayed away. I don't find them sexy at all.
Now male librarians, on the other hand….*sigh*
I absolutely hate male strippers never seen one by choice don't want to see one ever. They just make me feel sorry for them they are so unappealing and just sad.
Personally, I don't find them sexy, either. The only time I went near them was a bachelorette party at a strip club. I spent the evening waving money over the bride's head (she had a fabulous time).
My mother conspired with my roommate and hired a stripper. Who came to the dorm. On my 18th birthday. About a month into college.
True story.
Bahahaha. The best part of this post was the Webster Hall reference. Oh to be under 21 and have no where else to go! Love this blog, girly.
–T
You are soooo right. They go for the big girls because the big girls feed into it more, lavishing the attention. I had a stripper knock me out of a chair when I was taken to a strip club for my 18th birthday. Traumatized.
Informative content, In bachelor party you can drink all night but between the beer and the strippers, wouldn't it be fun to have a few bachelor party games such as Despedida Soltero.
I found this so funny, particularly the banana bit, and I'm a stripper myself! (I never go to places with male strippers, since, well, I'm pretty sick of strip joints once I'm off work. But it must be fun for other people.)
It sounds like these places are alot more lighthearted than their counterparts, where the men are the clients and the girls are performing.
Maybe because it's an easier relation — Female strippers have to worry about male clients getting phyiscally or sexually abusive.
But a hunky guy, surrounded by adoring girls, is fine. And if he's flirting with the shy "big" girl, it's like a fun game for both sides.
Banana… you may have given me an idea for my next routine.
This post was hilarious, but also eye-opening! I don’t think I ever really thought of male strippers’ connection to the “desperation” stereotype!
Lindsay
http://www.southernbellestylista.com
This post was hilarious, but also eye-opening! I don’t think I ever really thought of male strippers’ connection to the “desperation” stereotype!
Lindsay
http://www.southernbellestylista.com
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