“Am I the biggest girl here?” is a torturous game I used to play with myself when I was growing up. I would ask myself if I was the biggest girl in the room and then look around to see what the answer was. 99% of the time, the answer was yes. What did I do with that information? I just used it to fuel the flames of insecurity that burned quietly inside of me.
At BlogHer, Jennipher Walters, creator of fit bottomed girls discussed something called The Comparison Trap. She mentioned how it can be detrimental to us because it can really skew the way we see ourselves. Her words really hit home for me because I’ve spent years caught in The Comparison Trap and I think it might be at the core of some of the issues I’m working through on my #PSPfit journey.
I’ve mentioned before that in the past I’ve gained and lost 50 pounds and had absolutely no idea. I can’t help but wonder if I missed changes in my body because I was too busy pitting myself against others. I didn’t notice my actual size because I could only see that I was bigger than the girls around me. So even though the girls around me were growing up and changing, I still only saw them as “small” and me as “big”.
Being stuck in The Comparison Trap kept me away from an understanding of my body and what worked for me. The Comparison Trap made me feel inadequate because I didn’t have the metabolism or “discipline” that other girls had. The Comparison Trap had me rushing to buy every diet book that “really worked” for a coworker.
I’m using weight to describe my Comparison Trap issues, but its something that creeps into all aspects of my personal and professional life. Comparing ourselves to others is natural. We want to see how we “measure up” against other people, coworkers, neighbors, couples… but I take comparing myself with others to an unhealthy place and that’s a habit I’m working really hard to break.
Now I’m learning to compare myself to different versions of myself. I’m learning to compare my relationship to my relationship. Instead of looking at other relationships, I can stop and say “Wow, this time last year we were at point A. Look at us now, we’re at point C and we’re happy!” Comparing myself to myself is a much more healthy way for me to measure my growth and evolution as a person. I can look back and say “okay, I’m doing this a little better”, or “I’m still messing up here” but I’m running my own race.
Do you struggle with The Comparison Trap? How do you run your own race?