Category Archives: Dating

Plus Size Dating Standards | Body Image | Shopping with Friends #CurvyConvo, Live (Episode 2)

Do you ever think about how upgrades are relative to what we had before? One girl may go from a flip phone to an iPhone 3 and be so hyped she wouldn’t even realize she was missing out on an iPhone 5. Another girl may order an iPhone 5, but get intimidated by all the new things it can do… return it and go back to her flip phone. Those same things can happen in dating… Sometimes we think we’ve “upgraded” because someone is treating us better than what we’re used to. But if we’re used to being treated poorly, that doesn’t mean much. On the other hand we may say we want to upgrade, but when it finally happens we…

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I’d Rather be Lonely than Date a Jerk… Thoughts??

  One of the things that really stuck out to me in last week’s #CurvyConvo question and the comments that followed, is that our girl knew that a man asking her to lose weight before he dated her was a red flag, but she still considered it. Some girls wondered why she would even think about giving this guy a chance, but I understood where she was coming from. I’ve been there. Being single is hard, craving connection with another person and not getting it can be painful and frustrating. (related: I’m Single, What am I Doing Wrong?!) Before I met Mr. Man, I can remember trying to make it work with guys who weren’t good for me, just because I…

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Dear CeCe: Should I Lose Weight for my Boyfriend? #CurvyConvo

Today’s Curvy Conversation comes from Twitter: Hi CeCe! I met amazing guy last night who told me I was equally amazing, but would love for me to lose weight while we get together.  He said it so sweetly, as in “please don’t think you are not beautiful and I do want to be with you just lose a little weight…” part of me was a little sad, but a part of me wanted a reason to get back to the gym because I wasn’t getting ANY love from ANYONE. He wants to be with me, but wants me to lose weight…I know I shouldn’t care what he thinks, but I kind of do. I kind of feel bad that a guy…

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No, My Boyfriend Isn’t “Settling” For A Plus-Size Girl

So, my boyfriend is skinny and I’m definitely not. But, one of the hardest things about being in a “mixed weight” relationship is other people and their opinions (and projections). While I don’t often hear comments about my weight when I’m alone, I do get a very strong message about my weight in the context of my dating life. The message comes in many forms, but it’s always the same: “You do not deserve to be with him.”Sometimes, the message is delivered via a flirty waitress at a restaurant who smiles at him while scribbling my order — it’s straight out of a movie. Other times, the message comes from a smiling face that says, “You’re a VERY lucky girl…” Is that…

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Why Do we Love Getting Dating Advice from Single Men?

Question: Why do we love to get dating advice from single men? I feel like we’ve all seen too many episodes of The Bachelor because somehow, we’ve put guys who can’t commit on a pedestal. Suddenly it feels like the dating scene is full of this 25 to 1 ratio of women are clamoring to unlock the hearts of the nearest man and when these men decide they’d rather keep sewing wild oats, we walk around like its our fault. We weren’t “something” enough to make them commit. In general, it seems like we blame women for being single but we never blame men for not growing up/settling down– why? A lot of this is happening on the internet, where…

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I’m Single… What am I Doing Wrong?! | Plus Size Dating | Love & Relationships

Dear CeCe, For some reason I have the worst luck dating. For some reason, EVERY guy that makes a pass at me only wants me a “pillow buddy” or his friend on the side. I feel like I deserve to be the main chick. I dress conservatively, am well educated, am active in my community, work out regularly, have my own money, & keep myself up. Could there be something I have been doing for the past 10 years that has me screwing up my dating life? P.S. Tried dating online… yea, same deal. All the guys just wanted me as a random hook up. I assure you the pictures I posted werent suggestive. Please help me! -DN Hi DN,…

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Plus Size Dating: Words from Maya Angelou…

I want to be as beautiful as I can be—to MYSELF first. THEN to whomever has the SENSE to see me. -Maya Angelou When the news of Auntie Maya’s passing hit yesterday, so many quotes swirled around the internet… but this is the one that spoke directly to my heart. Loving myself is hard and never ending work. I never get it 100% right, but I’m getting better at it. I’m getting better at bouncing back from failure. I’m getting better at seeing a number on the scale and moving on with my day no matter what it says. I’m getting better at not defining myself by my relationship status… I’m getting better, but I’m still a work in progress,…

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The Time I Accidentally Catfished Someone…

I was standing in the parking lot of Target when my phone rang. It was a number I didn’t recognize, but I was 17 so that was more thrilling than it is now. “Hello?” “CeCe?” the phone cracked in my ear “its me… Daniel!” He spoke again, “DBoone81?” I knew exactly who we was… my jaw dropped. I met Daniel in a chat room on AIM one night with my best friend, Holly. Somehow, Daniel and I had formed a tight friendship. We lived in different cities, but we’d spoken weekly via instant messenger and sometimes on the phone since my Sophomore year of high school. Based on the crackled phone connection, I knew where he was but I asked anyway.…

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When Insecure Men Make Us Insecure: My Response to LOUIE on FX “So did the Fat Lady” Episode 3 Season 4

When I was a sophomore in high school, I developed a crush on a nerdy freshman, with big teeth and braces who everyone called “Hee-Haw”. I should start of by saying that I was a big girl who managed to defy all teen movie stereotypes: I was popular at my California high school, invited to my share of exclusive parties and I was asked to every prom. I don’t know about you, but my high school was a funny place where the social “hierarchy” was quietly established and then followed without question. So when the crush I had on my little “Hee-Haw” became public, it shook up the status quo and two things happened. 1.) A popular upper classman who…

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Dear Closet Chubby Chasers… Go Away!

This weekend I logged onto my facebook page and I was like… Some dude had liked my page, left a whole bunch of comments and then started sending me private flirtatious messages asking me to call him. He even left his phone number! One of the awkward parts about being a plus size blogger, is that the pages I create to keep in touch with my PSP’s sometimes get infiltrated by creepy men. As I went to click the “block” button, I realized something. This guy was carefully perusing my photos and posts, but his facebook profile was locked down like Fort Knox. He had no photos and his name was listed as “Jamal Jamal”. Isn’t it fascinating how men love to…

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