Category Archives: Dating

Battle of the Big Girls

It was Saturday afternoon and Paige was calling me, that could only mean one thing… she wanted to go to DIVAS. I didn’t have plans so we decided to meet up around 10:30pm and head downtown… I had lost 20 pounds and Paige spent the whole train ride talking about it. “Oh my God, what am I gonna do when you’re all skinny?”, “You’re going to be small and leave me at DIVAS all alone!”, “All the guys are going to be all over you tonight!” When we arrived, the place was packed and Paige and I had to push through a sea of soft bodies just to get to the dance floor. Through the crowd I noticed a guy…

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Dating on a Diet: Is he worth the calories?

Autumn in New York makes me want to be in love…. So, when I checked my online dating account and saw that I had a message from a guy named Steve, it was perfect timing. I could tell Steve was creative from his online profile which said he was into things like punk rock, doo wop and that he collected vinyl records. He had one photo, which was an angular close-up of his face, showing his big brown puppy dog eyes through black framed glasses. After a few emails back and forth, Steve and I began talking on the phone. He was from London originally and I loved listening to his accent. We chatted easily, and soon he asked me…

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A Plus Size Princess & Online Dating

In the craziness that is New York City Nightlife, is it possible to meet “Mr. Right”? The general consensus of my single girlfriends, plus size or not, is No. But I would magnify that decision dramatically when it comes The Scene. While many of the plus size divas who attend these events seem to be open to love, the men who flock to the parties seem to view a plus size woman as a sexual fantasy, not a potential relationship. So, what’s a girl who is looking for The One to do? I was brought up to expect certain things from a male who was interested in me. I am looking for courtship, chivalry and of course ultimately… love. After…

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A Dating Hazzard: The Dating Drive-by

I was in a bit of a funk, but it was Friday night and Paige was in the mood to do something, so she came over. As we looked up things to do, she came up with an idea to call a driver (yes, as in taxi) that she had met, well… in a taxi. They had been talking for a few weeks. Somehow on her drive home she decided she should show him a picture of ME, and from that point on, he had been calling trying to get her introduce us and according to her he also wanted to hook her up with “one of his boys”. I didn’t care about meeting Driver, but Paige wanted to meet…

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*Cricket… Cricket*

I’m going to keep this short. After over a month of follow up calls and promises to make plans, he has fallen off the face of the earth. Don’t judge but… I thought he was The One. *sigh* Unless there is some Universal redemption to this tragic tale of could’ve been love… he is not. I will spare you the “coulda shoulda wouldas” (ranging from kissing him to being 30 pounds lighter) that have been swirling in my head. I don’t know what happened, but what I do know is that I need to keep it movin‘.

First Date: William

William’s work schedule made it hard to pin down an evening to get together, but after five weeks of clever phone conversations and cute text messages, we finally set a date for a Friday night. We decided to grab a drink at a jazz club near my apartment. I kept it simple; black pointy kitten-heeled shoes, a new pair of jeans and a simple black top that showed just enough (but not too much) of “the twins”. He did everything right; politely kissing my cheek, opening doors, pulling out chairs. He was on top of it. It was so refreshing! Our waiter was a flamboyant gay man who gave me knowing glances as he took our order and brought our…

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A Big Girl Rant: My type’s type

There is a man who is always willing to help me with anything. He regularly expresses his interest in me and tells me how attractive I am. He even offers to drive me to work if the weather is bad and he always opens doors for me. This man is the doorman of my building. I often find myself being hit on by men who are not at all “my type” from homeless men, to men with no teeth, to loud construction workers. I am constantly being approached, yet I have no real prospects. Its very frustrating to get dolled up in a cocktail dress with heels and a the perfect clutch, to have spent a ridiculous amount of time…

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The Waiting Game

I replayed meeting William a million times in my head and the thing that I couldn’t get over was that he was only at REWIND because his friends wanted to go there. He wasn’t necessarily into big girls like most of the men at the BBW parties, but of course I didn’t know that when I approached him and if I had known I probably wouldn’t have spoken to him at all. That Monday on instant messenger, Dana suffered through all of my speculations on why he hadn’t called. The main one being that he realized that a big girl was not the look he was going for. Every ten minutes or so, our IM conversations went a little like…

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Turn The Paige (part two)

The more I attended the BBW parties, the more I became aware of a stereotype: Fat chicks are desperate. There was a certain level of wooing that some men didn’t feel the need to do at the big girl club, its like they assume that a big girl will just take what she can get. I can recall watching a guy walk up to a gorgeous plus size diva and asking her (in the most vulgar way) if she wanted to have sex. Another night, I noticed a man who, instead of paying to get into the club, lurked around outside asking the women who walked out if they wanted to come home with him. Of course those are extreme…

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Computer Love

I can remember being a young girl and wishing I could send out a mass message across the United States to any and all boys who liked (or didn’t mind) big girls. In my fantasy, I would line all the boys up, walk up and down the line and pick one (or two) so I could finally have a boyfriend. I knew there were boys out there who would like a girl like me, but it was just a matter of finding them. Fast Forward to my adulthood and that long line of males who’d like a plus size princess of their own has become a reality, with the help of the Internet. When I moved to New York City,…

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