Category Archives: Curvy Conversations

Dear CeCe: How do I Love Myself?

Hello Cece! I want to first and foremost tell you that I love your blog. I always look forward to reading your posts. I’m writing because I am in a crisis; been so for years. Looking back at my life, I realize I never loved myself. I’ve been overweight all my life and never looked at myself and thought I was amazing. It’s a hard pill to swallow but it’s true. At one point I lost 80lbs, everyone said I looked fine but I never felt that way. Thus, I’ve gained most of that weight back. I have been depressed since I’ve been in middle school, I’m 28 now. I feel like a loser and I know I have a…

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I Can’t Accept Street Harassment as a Way of Life

On the last day of school in the 6th grade, I was walking home when a car screeched to a halt in front of me. The driver rolled down his window and yelled, “Damn, girl! You’ve got some big titties!”As he sped off, I stood there stunned. My face burned with embarrassment and I felt a strong desire to hide. I felt violated, powerless. While this extremely disrespectful behavior isn’t a new phenomenom, only recently have I come to understand it for what it is: street harassment. According to the Street Harassment site, leers, whistles, honks, kissing noises, gender-policing, and non-sexually explicit evaluative comments, as well as insulting and threatening behaviors including vulgar gestures, sexually charged comments, flashing, stalking, public masturbation,…

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You’re Skinny, So… Please Stop Calling Yourself A “Fat Girl” In Front Of Me

“I was such a fat girl yesterday,” my college roommate said.I had just returned from a weekend trip and from what I could tell, her dancer’s body had not changed in the 48 hours that I was gone. Understandably, I had no idea what she was talking about…and then she started listing all of the things she’d eaten the day before.Oh.Being a “fat girl” means eating Skittles, pizza, and soda while watching movies? No — not okay. That’s not what it means at all.As a plus-size lady, I’ve never had an “us” vs. “them” mentality when it came to smaller women. I’ve never called someone a “skinny b*tch.” I’ve never hated someone for their fast metabolism and, in general, the…

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I Am Unapologetically Human… A Note to Linda Kelsey (The “Fattist” DailyMail Writer)

The average newborn is 7.5 pounds… I came into the world at 10 pounds, so you might say I’ve been a Plus Size Princess since the beginning. I was eight when I began feeling bigger than the other girls. I was 12 when my pediatrician wrinkled her nose and bluntly told my mother that I was fat. I’ve been dieting, losing weight… and gaining more back ever since. I never saw my weight as part of my identity because being a big girl was always supposed to be a temporary thing. The plan was to do all of the things that skinny girls do: Moderation! Self Control! Eat Less, Move More! and then a skinny body would be mine too. But here’s the…

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Shhh! You’re Interrupting my Body Confidence Party…

Have you ever been at a party where everyone was in the zone, dancing the night away and then a neighbor knocks on the door with a noise complaint and kills the whole vibe? Sharing the intimate details of how I’m learning to love myself at any size isn’t an easy thing to do. But when your comments roll in and I realize I’m not alone, the body confidence party begins! Of course, on each post there’s always one vibe killing comment that goes something like this: “Great piece. But being overweight is really unhealthy…” The comment is usually followed by a cautionary list of ailments that I will get if I don’t start taking care of myself (diabetes, heart…

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Does Our Weight Affect Our Friendships? | Being Mary Jane Big Girl Recap

I couldn’t give Being Mary Jane two hours of my time yesterday, so I just finished watching the second half of the finale tonight. If you don’t watch the show, I’ll give you a quick recap. Wait– are you judging me for watching it? *blush* All you need to know is that Mary Jane’s ex boyfriend found out that she stole his semen and froze it in the hopes of getting pregnant via turkey baster. (omg, you really are judging me for watching this show, aren’t you?) Anyway, Mary Jane accuses her plus size friend, Nichelle (played by Brely Evans) of being the one who told him. As they argue back and forth, Nichelle says something interesting “What I am…

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Getting Out of Our Comfort Zones | Thank You

Can we talk a little bit about comfort zones today? On the way home last night, I began thinking about what it takes to get out of your comfort zone. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you’ve seen me push myself out of my comfort zone a few times. 1.) Starting this blog and putting all of my insecurities on the table. Being plus size in NYC can be frustrating and painful. But this site gave me a safe space to talk about plus size night clubs, my thighs rubbing together and online dating horror stories with people who “get it”. 2.) When I finally took the plunge and asked Robert if he liked me. I know some of…

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Remembering My Dreams…

Langston Hughes asked: What happens to a dream deferred? in his poem, Harlem… My deferred dream is performing and over the past month, I’ve been reminded of it in some fun ways. I was asked to be in a workshop of a new musical at NYU and I sang in a charity Christmas concert on the Lower East Side. It felt amazing to do what I love… This is me backstage at the charity concert. You can rent this dress for free with your complimentary 30 day Gwynnie Bee membership I’ve always been a dreamer… if I imagine something in my head, I don’t mind working hard to make it happen even if it seems crazy (#PSPfit is a good example…

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I’ve Lost Weight and Still Feel Like a “Big Girl” (Curvy Convo)

Hey CeCe, I’ve been reading your blog for quite awhile now. I recently made a decision to lose weight earlier this year. I did a complete diet change, and I have been working out constantly. As of now I have lost over a total of 60lbs. I am fine with not being skinny. I am more concerned about being healthy. My problem is, I can’t adapt to the “new me.” I guess I shouldn’t say new me because I’ve always been the same person.  Family and Friends constantly compliment me over this major transformation. Of course, I say thank you and tell them what I’ve been doing to lose the weight. However, In my mind I’m still that “big girl”. I can’t seem to shake her out my…

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I’m Sorry!

If someone offends me, I write about it here… and if I offend someone I think I should write about it here too. I’m not afraid to talk about race, which is why there’s a “size & race” category on this blog, but last week I made a comment in the comments section of a post that came off way wrong. I’m not sure how many of you saw the comment, but I want to make sure all of you see my apology for it. When I respond to your comments, I may not write long responses to you because for me our exchanges feel like I’m chatting with friends. I’m also realizing that maybe I don’t explain things that need…

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