Walking into my first BBW Party in Los Angeles was like walking into a high school dance.
Club Bounce was located in the ballroom of a budget hotel. There were three large women collecting tickets behind a folding table. Once we paid our cover, our names were immediately dropped into a raffle bowl for prizes that would be announced later that night. I’ve never seen these things at mainstream clubs, but BBW clubs seem to think we come out for the chance at a free digital camera (*shrugs*).
Vanessa, my friend who works for Kiyonna (maybe some of you have seen her videos?) looked fabulous in a black dress with rouching up the front and funky boots and I was rocking my Kiyonna BoHo Chic look in honor of her. We both looked good and were feeling good after a nice dinner filled with girl talk.
Vanessa and I walked to the bar and ordered drinks and the high school vibe continued. On one side of the room were small clusters of Plus Size Princesses of all shapes, sizes, colors and ages. On the other side of the room were all the men. The DJ was playing music to an empty dance floor and balloons waived slowly under the air conditioner.
There was no mingling or flirting, everyone just sat in their respective corners and drank for about an hour.
Eventually some girls got up and began to dance with each other. Then slowly a crowd began to form on the dance floor. Vanessa and I were dancing too when I spotted a PSP sitting in the corner with her hands folded in her lap. I’m not sure if it was the high school dance elements of the night, but seeing her sitting there like a wall flower really made me sad so I marched over to her.
“Hi, are you here by yourself?” I asked.
“Yes,” she replied with a shy smile.
“Oh, wow… how are you liking it so far?”
“Its fine… I mean I’ve never been to a club before so…”
“Never been to a club, ever?!”
“Nope.”
I called Vanessa over, “this is Vanessa and I’m CeCe… come hang with us!” I said motioning for her to stand up. She hesitated and then said “okay”.
Being at a party alone is never fun, so Vanessa and I took her under our wing for the night. Watching her was fascinating because things like a guy asking her to dance were clearly new to her. As she danced with one guy, he turned her back to so that he could dance with her from behind and she thought he was done with her, so she kept walking and left him on the dancefloor. I had to tell her to turn around because he was standing there confused!
Over all the guys at Club Bounce weren’t very exciting. In my opinion, they made their business clear when they didn’t bother to talk and mingle with the PSP’s early in the night. It almost seemed as if they waited for the girls to get liquored up so that they could spend the evening humping them on the dance floor. I even heard one guy mention that he had a hotel room upstairs, which was a little disheartening.
Of course, we all know that NYC BBW clubs aren’t a place to look for love, and the California clubs are no different from what I can tell. But you never know… I was inspired when I noticed a nerdy guy in a sweater vest approaching our shy friend in a very repsectful way. Vanessa and I left them alone on the dance floor where they danced to song after song after song.
I felt like a proud Mom!
OMG, now see I must have missed you by a weekend because I went to club bounce like back in February and for the most part it was just fun to people watch, drink a little, listen to music and nod off in the corner *I feel so old* and just party and bullsh!t. The other big girl club which was originally club curves, and then moxie just completely shut down altogether but that is neither here nor there. I wish I would have known you were coming to town from one PSP blogging sista to another it would have been great to meet you and network to say the least because I read your blog and I also follow you on twitter but I digress at least you helped that wallflower out so that’s a good deed done and she might even come out of the experience with a lightweight boyfriend in the end how cute is that.
Hi Cece,
I’ve been to the club you’re talking about, in fact, I used to live about a mile away. I lived near there for 4 years and only went about 3 times…each time hoping it had changed/improved since the last time I had been there. It was very disheartening to see so many men many who felt like women should be worshiping them because, of course, they think WE are the ones that are desperate.
I had a situation where a guy was giving me looks from the bar but didn’t bother to come over and talk to me. Instead, he gestured with his head for me to come to him. I instantly looked away, after all, why should I go talk to him when he’s the one interested in talking to me?
Anyhow, that pretty much sums up all of my experiences there. Besides the club being in a terrible motel, the music was very appropriate for a high school dance. I felt there wasn’t anyone there interested in dancing!!
Yes, Club Bounce is… interesting!! The music sucks on Friday nights, no top 40 or rock. Whenever I have gone there, I have just played pool and been happy with that. Personally I prefer Butterfly Lounge in Costa Mesa, but they are only open Saturday nights.
I wonder if they have any club nights like that in Philly or DC. I would love to attend…
There’s a BBW party (no official club here in Toronto) tomorrow night. I’m not going because I have no one to go with – I’m new to the city – and for a while I was a bit bummed out about this. But you know, I think I’d more than likely have the same type of underwhelming experience I’ve seen both CeCe and commenters write about. I’ve begun to realize I don’t want to be wanted for what I look like. Sure, I want to be considered attractive by the person I’m dating, but I don’t want it to be the sole reason they talked to me in the first place.
Ideal situation: I’m approached at a coffee shop because the guy is into the book I’m reading. Conversation sparks and it all goes swimmingly from there! Ahh fantasy…
I refuse to attend big girl parties. They just seem desperate.I don’t want to live my life in a box. I’m not a club person, so I was never big into that.I could easily find someone to dance with me and exchange numbers. At the the same time if you enjoy these type o parties or clubs, go for what works for you.
Oh oh oh…go to a regular Club and wait for someone for dancing…
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