Author: CeCe Olisa

My straight guy friends (yes I have a few of those) mentioned a “Butterface” the other day. Butterface: A girl who has a bangin’ body… but her face…is a mess. Now, I’ve always heard “You have such a pretty face!” which I eventually realized is what people say to Plus size Princesses. Why not just say “You’re pretty”? Why is it necessary to specify that I am only attractive from the neck up? Does this make me a Butterbody??? And don’t even get me started on people saying “You have a pretty smile” which excludes everything but a Big Girls teeth! Thank God teeth can’t gain weight. If it were possible to have fat teeth, some Big Girls would never…

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I had a voicemail from James. “Hey Celeste… its James. I miss you. I want to see you. Call me.”I was getting tired of this homo/hetero limbo! I had been avoiding him since Kenzie and I saw him at the beach. But I had to figure this out, if my gaydar and Kenzie’s gaydar had both been stumped, there was only one thing left to do. I had to call in reinforcements… The Gays themselves. I called Adam, explained everything and before I knew it he had arranged a cocktail party at his apartment for a few people, including Colin and Dean. Adam has been my best friend since high school, Colin is his long time boyfriend and Dean is…

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I walked into the gym the other day and was surprised to find a camera man filming on the cardio floor. I found an elliptical machine behind him, so I wouldn’t be filmed during my session. As I began pedaling in place, a woman in a suit walked up to me with an index card in her hand. “Hi, my name is Stacy. I’m with CBS news” “Um… hi” “We’re doing a story based on a recent study that was released saying that some women are less likely to work out as hard when they are working out next to ‘skinny bitches’. You know, those model types that don’t need to be here,” she said. “So could I ask you…

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