My straight guy friends (yes I have a few of those) mentioned a “Butterface” the other day. Butterface: A girl who has a bangin’ body… but her face…is a mess. Now, I’ve always heard “You have such a pretty face!” which I eventually realized is what people say to Plus size Princesses. Why not just say “You’re pretty”? Why is it necessary to specify that I am only attractive from the neck up? Does this make me a Butterbody??? And don’t even get me started on people saying “You have a pretty smile” which excludes everything but a Big Girls teeth! Thank God teeth can’t gain weight. If it were possible to have fat teeth, some Big Girls would never…
Author: CeCe Olisa
A Big Girl and her Gays (Part 2)
I had a voicemail from James. “Hey Celeste… its James. I miss you. I want to see you. Call me.”I was getting tired of this homo/hetero limbo! I had been avoiding him since Kenzie and I saw him at the beach. But I had to figure this out, if my gaydar and Kenzie’s gaydar had both been stumped, there was only one thing left to do. I had to call in reinforcements… The Gays themselves. I called Adam, explained everything and before I knew it he had arranged a cocktail party at his apartment for a few people, including Colin and Dean. Adam has been my best friend since high school, Colin is his long time boyfriend and Dean is…
“Skinny Bitches”
I walked into the gym the other day and was surprised to find a camera man filming on the cardio floor. I found an elliptical machine behind him, so I wouldn’t be filmed during my session. As I began pedaling in place, a woman in a suit walked up to me with an index card in her hand. “Hi, my name is Stacy. I’m with CBS news” “Um… hi” “We’re doing a story based on a recent study that was released saying that some women are less likely to work out as hard when they are working out next to ‘skinny bitches’. You know, those model types that don’t need to be here,” she said. “So could I ask you…
A Glitch in the Gaydar
It had been a few weeks since I met James. We had been hanging out regularly, and he had invited me to a party at his friends beach house. I liked him and he seemed he liked me, so I agreed to go, but I still couldn’t get the thought out of my head that he was gay. I don’t know what it is but closeted gays are drawn to plus size princesses. My first love was a guy that chased me all through high school, spent the summer after our senior year telling me that we should be married, only to come out to me six months later. During college I spent all my time with Dan, holding hands,…
Walk of Shame
It was a Friday night when my friend Kenzie called to announce that drinks were in order. Our other friends Annie and Kelsi both had dates, so Kenzie and I decided to venture out on our own. I slipped on a black pencil skirt, with a wide leather belt and tucked in a fuschia cap-sleeved top that showed just the right amount of clevage. Pulling my hair into low side ponytail, I slipped into a pair of leather and wood wedges. Then I grabbed my favorite clutch; threw in my cell phone, MetroCard, a credit card, License, and MAC lip-glass in pink poodle and I was on my way. I already had a voicemail from Kenzie when I got off…
A Big Girl and her Gays (Part 1)
I sat in the audition room applying lip-gloss and singing to myself when a guy I didn’t know approached me. “Is this the room for the Hairspray Callbacks?” he asked. “Yes,” I replied glancing up from my mirror. He was holding a planner with the Brooks Brothers logo and he wore a well tailored suit. He was dressed rather well, even better than most of the musical theater males in the room who by default are quite fashion conscious. His name was James and he was cute funny and smart. As we chatted I started to flip through my mental rolodex, trying to think of which one of my boys I could introduce him to. I must have zoned out…
