I’ve been hesitant to write about my dating life lately for a variety of reasons. But I’ve had experiences dating in New York City that have taught me a lot and changed my mindset around dating and relationships. I feel that it might be helpful if we talk about it together, sound good?
If you’re new here, something you should know about me is that I do my best to live a life of excellence. I have a supportive family, my friends are all winners, I’m able to support myself in the most expensive city in the world (while keeping my monthly spa appointment, amen!) I’m happy and (thank God!) I’m healthy.
I want to be a wife and a mom, but those things haven’t happened for me yet.
I’m reading some of the DMs that you send to me and I understand that for my single ladies, dating is complicated right now. I understand.
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I feel that it is important for you to know that there are many gorgeous, talented, successful women JUST LIKE YOU who are having a complicated time with dating.
We’ve leveled up. We’re doing all of “the things” the self love, the self care and The Therapy. But it sometimes feels like our dating life doesn’t match all of the other lovely things in our lives.
If this is happening to you, you are not alone. I promise.
So, when your dating life isn’t popping– what should you do?
I can’t tell you what to do, but I can show you how I’m handling it. Let’s Begin…
I was ghosted this weekend *clutches pearls* here’s how it went down:
I was supposed to have a date on Sunday afternoon.
When I hadn’t heard from him by Saturday morning, I won’t lie, I was bummed. But I made the decision that the date was officially cancelled. Even if he called, I wouldn’t have gone because less than 24 hours notice doesn’t work for me.
Here’s how I spent my Sunday instead:
I Enjoyed my Early Morning
I woke up at 5:45am, no alarm.
I started the “Self Clean” cycle in my oven. Have you ever done it? Running the Self Clean cycle on an oven allows it to get super hot and burn off anything that’s stuck to the bottom and sides. It’s like 3 hour magical heat. Have you ever done it? It’s truly one of my favorite “grown up” things to do.
For safety, I first opened the door to my balcony and all of the windows for ventilation while my oven cleaned itself.
Then I sat on my balcony and journaled for a while.
My bathrobe is sold out, but I researched a few reasonably priced bathrobes from the same store, in a variety of styles and sizes, up to a 4X. If you click on any of the links below, I will get a small commission on anything you buy. I hope this is helpful and that you find something that works for you!
I RECOMMEND THESE PLUS SIZE BATHROBES
I Accomplished Something
Around 7:30am I had a work session with TEAM CECE. I gained clarity on some crucial elements of the new product I’ve created for you. The new product is almost ready to launch. You’ll hear me talking about it more when it goes on sale in the coming days!
Join my mailing list here and I’ll be sure to send you a note when it’s live.
I’m smiling, just thinking about it.
After my TEAM CECE meeting ended, I was feeling hungry, so I made myself some breakfast, grabbed a magazine and went back onto the balcony.
Outside of being a wife and a mom, I pretty much have everything I want. Of course, this can make dating downers hurt even more. So, I want to two changes I made a few years back that have really helped.
1.) I got into therapy 2.) I got a life.
Actually I didn’t get a life– I created a life.
Yes, there have been boyfriends and breakups along the way.
After my last big breakup, I was WRECKED. I remember sobbing to my Mom asking “Do you think its EVER going to happen for me?” Thankfully, my mom is supportive and always has faith when I don’t.
After I calmed down, I started reading, praying and meditating and I realized something. Every guy I’ve dated has been better than the last. Breakups are tough, but if history tells me anything I’ll be grateful for all of this heartbreak one day.
I Read Something
When I looked at the cover of my Essence Magazine, I was so pleased to see my dear friend Rachel Cargle’s name on the cover! I adore her, she is a good friend and I love seeing her shine! She did a great interview with Rapsody and Nikki Giovanni. I love Rapsody’s style! She calls it “tomboy femininity” and I think it’s so dope. I adore Nikki Giovanni and I just found out in Rachel’s interview that Nikki Giovanni’s poetry is now available on spotify! I can’t wait to listen.
For breakfast, I just made a quick LAZY avocado toast. Here’s how I’m making it these days:
CeCe Olisa’s LAZY Avocado Toast
- 1 piece of Daves Killer Bread
- Pre-packaged guacamole from the super market (this is the Lazy part, please don’t judge me! When I have fresh avocados I definitely use them)
- A pinch of Morton’s Sea Salt Flakes (this is the only salt I use!)
- Drizzles and Drizzles of my Homemade Chile Oil (I’m so proud of this! Should I share the recipe?)
- Crumbled Feta
What do you think? If you’d like me to share the recipe I used for my yummy homemade chile oil, send me a DM on instagram! If you’re judging me for using guac, you can send me a DM too haha
Around 10:30am I sent some silly texts to my group chat and laughed with my homegirls.
I Created Something
I spent the rest of the afternoon writing, including todays blog post.
When I close my computer, I’m going to get into Lovecraft Country on HBO because my friend recommended it.
Sure, I got ghosted but today has been an amazing day! God bless that man for giving me a refund on my time!
Anyway, if you’ve been ghosted or your dating life isn’t going the way you’d like it to, I just want to remind you that there are plenty of other things you can do with your time.
No matter the circumstance, time alone is always a gift to me.
Ever been stood up? How’d you handle it?