Dating

A Year of Loving Myself: 2015

December 22 2015 | adthrive psp

 

If I were the type of person who said things like “This is gonna be my year!” I would have said it on January 1, 2015. But I’m not that kind of person, so I just giddily looked ahead. I was confident that at the end of 2015 I would love myself and my life in a completely different way than I did in 2014.

Welp– I can confidently say that I was right, but… um… my version of 2015 was all roses and what really happened was roses and thorns… lots of thorns (shout out to Brett Michaels, you called it bro).

Loving yourself and living a life you love are beautiful goals. The results are always worth it, but what it takes? Noooo… I wasn’t ready!!!!!!!

Anyway, here are a few crazy ways that I loved myself in 2015, in no particular order…

I Quit My Job

For a long time, I had this blog, my YouTube channel, #PSPfit, friends, family, a boo thang and a full-time job. For about two years I’d work nights and weekends on my passions and then spend Monday-Friday, 9-5 sitting at my day job with my stomach in knots. I had great co-workers and an awesome work environment, but I knew I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to do.

A year ago this week I said good-bye my corporate job, my paid vacation and my guaranteed paycheck (!) so that I could go “all in” with the work I do online.

From the moment I moved to NYC, I’d been working for the validation of other people. I’d been hoping and praying for someone to take a chance on me, to choose me, to pick me out from a crowd and say wow that girl has something.

This time, I did that.

I chose me.

I bet on me.

I decided that a steady paycheck was good, but what I had to offer the world was more valuable than a consistent direct deposit.

For the full story of how I quit my job click here

I Stopped Dating Robert

Yes, your girl is back on the market.

streets been waiting

Shout out to those of you who figured it out on social media (some of ya’ll don’t miss a beat, sheesh!), Anyway– I’m sorry I ignored your questions– I just wasn’t in the mood to discuss it.

I only have good things to say about Robert and the time I spent with him. Ending things was pretty simple: I needed more than Robert could give me, so it was up to me to tap out.

But here’s the deal– It took me a LONG TIME to get up the courage to call things off.

As women, we talk a lot about finding love/relationships but not a lot about losing love/relationships, so I will definitely be digging more into this topic; but for now, I’ll say that ending a relationship that isn’t serving you is a huge act of self love (especially if the person is awesome, augh!). If you’ve done it, I am giving you the biggest hug and high five. If you know you need to do it, I’m telling you now that it’s painful and annoying, but the life and love you deserve are on the other side, I promise.

I Started Therapy

I’ve always been curious about therapy. I didn’t have a particular reason to go, but once I started? Oh Em Gee! There’s so much to unpack!! It’s been really helpful to explore why I struggle with certain things or why I have certain patterns in relationships with friends and dating. It took me a few tries to find the right therapist for me, but now that I’ve found a good fit I look forward to exploring myself each week and growing up a bit.

Therapy is like the gym… for your heart and soul! #PSPfit

If you’re curious about therapy, I highly recommend InYourCornerOnline.com it’s skype Therapy so you can choose people who specialize in what you need help with and you can do your sessions from anywhere!

I Helped Others

Do you Remember “Dear CeCe: I’m Single, What am I Doing Wrong??” Well, in that post I broke down how to find purpose in your single life.

Not dating Robert anymore meant that suddenly our standing date nights were open on my calendar. I could have “started wearing less and going out more” on those days, but I didn’t.

Okay– I kinda did…

beyonce started wearing less and going out more

But I ALSO made sure to walk in my purpose and find ways to help people. Instead of having a date night with Robert every Tuesday, I started #PSPfit WERKshop, a Tuesday night workout class for my NYC readers and it was amazing!

The girls that showed up were so beautiful and positive– they had no idea they were helping me through an awkward time in my life. I taught them workouts and they taught me that when you have a purpose, you can fill any void in your life.

I Looked Up, Waaaaaay Up!

paulo-coelho-quote

*some say Universe, I say God (or Jesusssss *praise break*)

I set out to love myself more in 2015 and I was thinking like massages, manicures and two piece bathing suits in Jamaica would cover it. Little did I know that there were deeper lessons God had on deck for me in 2015.

A huge part of loving myself is my relationship with God. I could preach to you and say we are fearfully and wonderfully made… but instead I’ll just say, God don’t make no junk. God wants the best for me and is always looking out for my best interest even when it doesn’t feel good. Some amazing reminders of this have come from the following religious and non-religious places, No matter what your beliefs are, I think you can find some great inspiration with:

The Alchemist, a Life changing book

Jesus Calling a quick daily devotional that is so beautiful and speaks to my soul every day. It’s basically 365 days of love.

Intentional I think I listened to this song for like three days straight

Keep on Singing My Song Christina at her best singing from the depths of her soul, yes LORD! Lyrics include:

‘Cause I’m about to
Say farewell to every single lie
& All the fears I’ve held too long inside
Every time I felt I couldn’t cry
All the negativity I had inside
For too long I’ve been struggling. I couldn’t go on
But now I’ve found I’m feeling strong and moving on

 

I Stopped Being Mean to Myself

During all of these wacky loving myself moments, I was still dealing with a multitude of other personal issues, the stress that came in my first year of working for myself aaaand I was signing with a literary agent, starting the process of publishing a book, launching the first ever conference for women size 10+, theCURVYcon, etc. etc.

See, soooo many roses <3

A Year of Loving Myself 2015

So, instead of knocking out these last few pounds I wanted to drop, I’ve been holding on for dear life to maintain.

I’m nowhere near my starting weight and my body is still operating in the benefits of having lost dozens of pounds, thank God. But instead of hitting my personal goal scale-wise in 2015, I’ve been gaining and losing the same 10 pounds.

For a minute there I was so mean to myself. Everytime I posted an outfit picture, I’d harshly criticize it and tell myself I should be way farther along.

But, I work hard to love myself.

Right now loving myself means that I do the best that I can in a year of transition.

This year, the best that I can do is: following my dreams, letting go of things that weren’t right for me, healing emotional wounds, starting new projects and helping others along the way. Even though changing numbers on the scale didn’t make the cut, I’d still say that 2015 wasn’t too shabby.

Anyway, I often get emails asking How do I Love Myself? Here’s a snapshot of what it looked like for me– I always keep it real with you and this post is no different. All the beautiful rosey things you see me doing are rooted in making decisions out of love for myself (even when they weren’t fun decisions).

I’m grateful for all of it *sigh*

Do you have some “love yourself” tough decisions to make?

 

Facebook Comments

146 responses on “A Year of Loving Myself: 2015

  1. Tess Moore

    Awww Cece! Best post to date! So open and frank. Beautifully written too. I had guessed your status but knew you probably needed time to discuss it yourself (as we all do).

    Here’s to an even greater 2016!

    Tess x

  2. tess.more@gmail.com

    Awww Cece! Best post to date! So open and frank. Beautifully written too. I had guessed your status but knew you probably needed time to discuss it yourself (as we all do).
    Here’s to an even greater 2016!

    Tess x

  3. Klalle00 Personal

    This was so great. It was a balance representation of how change happens. It was so helpful for me. Thanks for giving it to us girl.

  4. klalle00@yahoo.com

    This was so great. It was a balance representation of how change happens. It was so helpful for me. Thanks for giving it to us girl.

  5. Sondi Raines

    Love this entry. Go Cece! I know after my last relationship, I was single for a long time and I loved it. I think as women something incredible happens when we are able to be man free; some sort of transformative growth. And you quit your job? Jealous! And happy for you! Oh, and I love the new website by the way.

    I always share your posts and photos with my dude and we discuss. Keep it coming!

  6. taikochk28@gmail.com

    Love this entry. Go Cece! I know after my last relationship, I was single for a long time and I loved it. I think as women something incredible happens when we are able to be man free; some sort of transformative growth. And you quit your job? Jealous! And happy for you! Oh, and I love the new website by the way.
    I always share your posts and photos with my dude and we discuss. Keep it coming!

  7. Hope Varnedoe

    this post is seriously inspirational. my goal for 2016 is to learn to really love myself the way you have in 2015. thank you CeCe for being such an good example.

  8. hopevarnedoe@gmail.com

    this post is seriously inspirational. my goal for 2016 is to learn to really love myself the way you have in 2015. thank you CeCe for being such an good example.

  9. Nina H.

    I really love this post. I agree with a previous poster saying that is was the best post to date because it was so open and honest. I feel inspired to looking into reading The Alchemist…seems like a pretty short read. I love how you committed to your dream of the blog and the idea of being a PSP.
    I do have some “love yourself” tough decisions to make. Deciding what I am going to do about my professional life, love life, working out, eating habits, and I find myself ridiculously unmotivated to do anything about them. Ugh!

    1. CeCe Olisa

      Girl, I 100% get it… the thing that helps for me is not trying to do everything at once. It is wayyyyy too overwhelming that way. Start with one thing (you know I’m going to recommend health because without that, we’ve got nothing *hugs*)

  10. nnhouston@gmail.com

    I really love this post. I agree with a previous poster saying that is was the best post to date because it was so open and honest. I feel inspired to looking into reading The Alchemist…seems like a pretty short read. I love how you committed to your dream of the blog and the idea of being a PSP.I do have some “love yourself” tough decisions to make. Deciding what I am going to do about my professional life, love life, working out, eating habits, and I find myself ridiculously unmotivated to do anything about them. Ugh!

    1. nycece@gmail.com

      Girl, I 100% get it… the thing that helps for me is not trying to do everything at once. It is wayyyyy too overwhelming that way. Start with one thing (you know I’m going to recommend health because without that, we’ve got nothing *hugs*)

  11. Nadia JW

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post!!! It’s speaks to everything that my mind has been processing for the last two days! I’m looking forward to FLOURISHING in 2016 as I continue to do what You’ve done in 2015! I plan to blog my experiences too so hope you’ll follow along with me. I’ll post the info soon as I get a chance! Thanks CeCe!!!! 😘💋

  12. nadiajwilliams@gmail.com

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post!!! It’s speaks to everything that my mind has been processing for the last two days! I’m looking forward to FLOURISHING in 2016 as I continue to do what You’ve done in 2015! I plan to blog my experiences too so hope you’ll follow along with me. I’ll post the info soon as I get a chance! Thanks CeCe!!!! 😘💋

  13. D. Bell

    Great post! So glad you are taking care of yourself internally and externally. It is hard to balance it all but you are putting in the effort. Here is another stellar year of growth and progress!

  14. jen thompson

    So inspiring, thank you. A reminder I’ve need that He never changes, is always faithful and wants and works for the best in us if we let Him. And to focus on that!! So inspiring. Going after what you’re worth.

  15. jenthompson611@gmail.com

    So inspiring, thank you. A reminder I’ve need that He never changes, is always faithful and wants and works for the best in us if we let Him. And to focus on that!! So inspiring. Going after what you’re worth.

  16. Julie Wunderlin

    Thank you for your transparency! It’s so easy for bloggers to keep a glossy sheen on their lives to make them look effortless and flawless. Your honesty makes your journey of self love relatable and something to strive for.

  17. jwunderlin@gmail.com

    Thank you for your transparency! It’s so easy for bloggers to keep a glossy sheen on their lives to make them look effortless and flawless. Your honesty makes your journey of self love relatable and something to strive for.

  18. Kay T

    there are seriously not enough words to describe how much this post and your blog in general means to me. you are such an inspiration. your willingness to be completely transparent has been such a needed means of a “you’re not alone” message. You are so amazing and I can’t wait to see what 2016 holds for you.

  19. thomaska26@gmail.com

    there are seriously not enough words to describe how much this post and your blog in general means to me. you are such an inspiration. your willingness to be completely transparent has been such a needed means of a “you’re not alone” message. You are so amazing and I can’t wait to see what 2016 holds for you.

  20. Erin

    Oh CeCe! What a year! I totally relate to the relationship struggles and loving yourself enough to know when to walk away. (It’s very difficult to do!) HUGE HUGS to you! I can’t wait to see what 2016 brings.

  21. ercoleman@gmail.com

    Oh CeCe! What a year! I totally relate to the relationship struggles and loving yourself enough to know when to walk away. (It’s very difficult to do!) HUGE HUGS to you! I can’t wait to see what 2016 brings.

  22. KalisisRising

    I <3 this recap and you are one hella bad ass lady! I feel so lucky to have stumbled into your corner of the world! Thanks for sharing and here's to a 2016 that's less transition and more of all the good stuff you've been working on!

  23. Hayley Harrison

    Cece you’re such an inspiration. One day I hope to have your confidence and outlook on the world.

    You have so much positive love for yourself and thats… Just wow.

    Merry Christmas from the UK.

    Hayley x

  24. dance-to-this-beat@hotmail.co.uk

    Cece you’re such an inspiration. One day I hope to have your confidence and outlook on the world.
    You have so much positive love for yourself and thats… Just wow.

    Merry Christmas from the UK.

    Hayley x

  25. Becca

    Hey CeCe! Just wanted to let you know that I really, really appreciated this post. It spoke directly to my heart and soul. It’s been a similar year for me as well in the sense of choosing myself, and it has been….thorny…..but amid so many roses. I love your honesty, vulnerability and willingness to give us all a piece of yourself. Keep on loving yourself! And if you’re ever in Seattle, I’d love the opportunity to meet you!

  26. barecca82@gmail.com

    Hey CeCe! Just wanted to let you know that I really, really appreciated this post. It spoke directly to my heart and soul. It’s been a similar year for me as well in the sense of choosing myself, and it has been….thorny…..but amid so many roses. I love your honesty, vulnerability and willingness to give us all a piece of yourself. Keep on loving yourself! And if you’re ever in Seattle, I’d love the opportunity to meet you!

  27. Nicole Dyson

    2015 was tough. But yup, in retrospect, I let go of my 6 year relationship that seemed stagnant, started Overeater’s Anonymous, kicked butt on my new job I started in January, signed up for CurvyCon 2.0, cause I missed #1, and took a few amazing vacations. Huh, not so bad after all! Thank you for perspective. Oh, and therapy rocks, but it may be time for me to explore a new therapist.

  28. calledwoman@hotmail.com

    2015 was tough. But yup, in retrospect, I let go of my 6 year relationship that seemed stagnant, started Overeater’s Anonymous, kicked butt on my new job I started in January, signed up for CurvyCon 2.0, cause I missed #1, and took a few amazing vacations. Huh, not so bad after all! Thank you for perspective. Oh, and therapy rocks, but it may be time for me to explore a new therapist.

  29. Alexandra Louis

    I’m pretty late reading this but the timing is perfect. Obviously I repeat the sentiments of everyone on here! Great post and so spot on for all of us. I think we know deep down that we all are going through the same issues but it’s such a different and connective experience to hear it/see it. I’m working on making many of the same changes in 2016 that you succeeded in this year. Your inspiration is fuel for me now and I think the one-thing-at-a-time approach is the way to go. I feel like I stalk you now! lol but know I don’t devour anyone else’s posts like I do yours. Happy holidays and here’s looking to a great 2016 for you!

  30. aplouis@yahoo.com

    I’m pretty late reading this but the timing is perfect. Obviously I repeat the sentiments of everyone on here! Great post and so spot on for all of us. I think we know deep down that we all are going through the same issues but it’s such a different and connective experience to hear it/see it. I’m working on making many of the same changes in 2016 that you succeeded in this year. Your inspiration is fuel for me now and I think the one-thing-at-a-time approach is the way to go. I feel like I stalk you now! lol but know I don’t devour anyone else’s posts like I do yours. Happy holidays and here’s looking to a great 2016 for you!

  31. LaKeisha

    Yasss! To everything! That XTina song be having me on bended knee crying & signing off key, but I will never forget how many times it got me thru the worst of times. Bless Up! See you 2016!

  32. lakeishashurn@gmail.com

    Yasss! To everything! That XTina song be having me on bended knee crying & signing off key, but I will never forget how many times it got me thru the worst of times. Bless Up! See you 2016!

  33. Maxine Morris

    I needed this to day!!!! I recently lost my husband ,and I have just been going around in circle. I am a big girl so you know there are so many critics .I want to find myself again in 2016

  34. maxinenewlandmorris@gmail.com

    I needed this to day!!!! I recently lost my husband ,and I have just been going around in circle. I am a big girl so you know there are so many critics .I want to find myself again in 2016

  35. Alison

    “I do the best that I can in a year of transition.” Yes, exactly. Open hearts, a good-faith effort, and acceptance are all we can ask of ourselves … and others. Thank you, CeCe, for your truth.

  36. allison.bigelow@gmail.com

    “I do the best that I can in a year of transition.” Yes, exactly. Open hearts, a good-faith effort, and acceptance are all we can ask of ourselves … and others. Thank you, CeCe, for your truth.

  37. Natty_gyrl

    Fantastic post! God has been tugging at me to move into a new level as well. Your post along with some other great moments this year have me ready to Jump!

  38. Natty_gyrl@yahoo.com

    Fantastic post! God has been tugging at me to move into a new level as well. Your post along with some other great moments this year have me ready to Jump!

  39. Molly Imogen Smyth

    I was only a youtube subscriber til I came over and read this after watching the ‘Year of loving myself + personal updates’ video, but I am now definitely a blog reader too! You’re amazing, I feel like for me 2015 was the year where I properly started on my self love journey too and reading about yours and all you’ve achieved has made me so excited to see what this year brings for you and me haha. So much love for you beautiful lady xxxxxxx

  40. mollyimogensmyth@hotmail.co.uk

    I was only a youtube subscriber til I came over and read this after watching the ‘Year of loving myself + personal updates’ video, but I am now definitely a blog reader too! You’re amazing, I feel like for me 2015 was the year where I properly started on my self love journey too and reading about yours and all you’ve achieved has made me so excited to see what this year brings for you and me haha. So much love for you beautiful lady xxxxxxx

  41. Reese

    Thanks for opening up about your life. I personally suffer from so much with myself that I don’t know where to start. I need tips on how to turn my life in a better direction. I’ve been lost for so long well over 10 years and I need to find myself. I’m losing this battle. Please continue to post your progress so that it will help me.

  42. mydivinesunshine@yahoo.com

    Thanks for opening up about your life. I personally suffer from so much with myself that I don’t know where to start. I need tips on how to turn my life in a better direction. I’ve been lost for so long well over 10 years and I need to find myself. I’m losing this battle. Please continue to post your progress so that it will help me.

  43. Erica Smith

    I just found your site through YouTube….I was in search of exercise for plus sized girls and…here I am! Thank you for your transparency and commitment to health! We ARE fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image! I want to truly begin to live that out. So thank you CeCe!

  44. erismile79@gmail.com

    I just found your site through YouTube….I was in search of exercise for plus sized girls and…here I am! Thank you for your transparency and commitment to health! We ARE fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image! I want to truly begin to live that out. So thank you CeCe!

  45. Neva

    Hey, you used to write fantastic, but the last few posts have been kinda boring… I miss your great writings. Past several posts are just a little out of track! come on!

  46. AC Maintenance Dubai

    Al Hadi AC Refrigration and Repairing is committed to giving your ACs a new lease of life. We have a team of experienced professionals which has serviced more than a 1000 units, much to the satisfaction of our clients. The effort at Al Hadi has always been to service a call in the shortest span of time and to close it with a happy client. The referrals we get is a testimony to our work. Try our services today!

  47. Darwin Horan

    I’m definitely enjoying the theme of your internet site. Do you run into any web browser compatibility troubles? A lot of the blog readers have complained about my real estate school website not working effectively in Internet Explorer yet appears excellent in Chrome. Have you got any kind of advice to help fix the situation?

  48. Cryptocurrency

    Someone essentially help to make seriously articles I would state. This is the very first time I frequented your website page and thus far? I amazed with the research you made to create this particular publish incredible. Excellent job!

  49. CD4

    Hey there, you’re certainly correct. I always read through your site content closely. I am furthermore fascinated by healthy foods, maybe you could write about this at times. I’ll be back soon.

  50. AC Repair Dubai

    Are you tired of your ac repair in Dubai? Are you looking for Certified Professionals to carry out your ac repair with improved facilities and in an expert way?. Hot and humid conditions are not easy to tolerate, especially when you are not used to them. But, thanks to the air conditioners – living in such extreme settings can also become a pleasant experience, and more so if you are in Dubai.

  51. hutschienen gehaeuse

    Thank you very much for discussing this info, I saved this webpage. I am furthermore searching for details regarding audio, are you aware the place where I can discover one thing like that? I’ll return in the future!

  52. Kamar Tidur Set Minimalis Elegan

    Hello! This is my first reply on your site so I simply wanted to give a quick shout out and say I genuinely enjoy reading through your articles. Can you recommend other sites that cover house interior design? I’m as well very keen on that! Thank you so much!

  53. Warna Cat Kamar Tidur Pria

    Thanks a lot for this excellent article! I definitely enjoyed learning about.I’ll make certain to take note of the site and definitely will come back later on. I would like to encourage you to definitely keep on with the nice job, maybe think about beautiful house plans as well, have a superb evening!

  54. Talitha

    I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was wondering what all is needed to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very web smart so I’m not 100 certain. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated. Many thanks

  55. Find My Summons

    I felt great to read this info and I think you are entirely correct. Let me know in case you are looking into ticket dispute, this is my major competence. I am hoping to check back with you in the near future, cheers!

  56. Real Credit Card Numbers That Work

    Appreciating the commitment you invested in the website and in-depth info you display. It is good to discover a blog occasionally which is not the same obsolete rehashed content. Fantastic read! We’ve bookmarked your blog and I am including the RSS feeds to our real credit card details webpage.

  57. American Nationals

    ANPC is a free nation for and by the living men and women of the earth. This Private Nation is a grassroots association based out of Indonesia having its own International Charter, Peace Treaty, Constitution, Rules of conduct and has adopted the Declaration of Human Rights. These Treaties have been Registered by International Notice to the Hague and World Court as well as other agencies worldwide. The entire goal and mission of ANPC is WORLD PEACE and freedom for all the nationals of the world, focusing on a peaceful gathering together of all tribes and nations. Our living men and women are to live as Peaceful Inhabitants on the land, striving always to create a better world today and for future generations.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *