Dating

Dear CeCe: Should I Shut Down My Online Dating Profile?

July 27 2015 | CeCe Olisa

Dear CeCe,

First let me say I love your blog. I only found it recently but have devoured every single dating post.

I really need your advice because I’ve become quite disillusioned with online dating. After hearing great things from my non PSP friends I signed up a couple of months ago on POF and Tinder. The problem I’m having is that most guys are only after one thing. Some of them are blatant and come out and say it, which I almost prefer so I can move on quickly. But i’ve had others that I’ve talked to for weeks, thinking we’re going to meet up only for them to send me d*ck pics which immediately ended things for me. 

Related: What do Men think of Big Women

I’ve been on a health journey for a while and in the last few months I’ve lost 20 pounds and counting. I’ve got to the stage where I’m wondering whether to shelve the online dating and come back in a few months time when my curves will be more.. contained.

I don’t know if I have the energy to withstand the constant barrage of over-sexual approaches. It’s making me suspicious of all men and I think that’s unfair to the good ones who I know are out there. I’ve worked hard both emotionally and physically to love my self at any size, and I do. This is really about not wasting my time if this is the way things are going to stay.

Please help! UKPSP

Hi UKPSP!

I’ve answered your questions in a video, I’ve also got some thoughts that I’ll add below!

(For those asking, the Dress I’m Wearing is available here)

So as I kept looking at your letter something else stuck out to me. I think you also may want to just work on not “wasting time” with guys as you online date. Please read My Online Dating Mistakes for a few lessons I’ve learned in that department.

Ladies, do you have any advice for UKPSP? Chime in below!

Got a question for me? Hit me up here

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26 responses on “Dear CeCe: Should I Shut Down My Online Dating Profile?

  1. Lizzie on the Spot

    This post truly hits home! My online dating experience has been lackluster over the past few months. I’ve considered shutting everything down — until I get my body right. However, CeCe your response was spot on and so true. Thanks so much for sharing this post + your perspective. Happy Monday!

  2. lizzieonthespot@gmail.com

    This post truly hits home! My online dating experience has been lackluster over the past few months. I’ve considered shutting everything down — until I get my body right. However, CeCe your response was spot on and so true. Thanks so much for sharing this post + your perspective. Happy Monday!

  3. prettykitty

    Let me just say, not having luck with online dating is not a weight thing! There are just so many guys out there that aren’t looking a long term meaningful relationship. Yes, I know there are – but they seem far and few between. The reality is, there aren’t that many places to meet people anymore, online seems to be the only place which is really sad. Also any guy that is worth it in the long wrong, will want to be with you on this healthy life journey – not just swoop in at the end when you are all done – and really, are we ever really done being healthy and improving ourselves? No, we are not – so embrace yourself as you change, and I believe someone else will as well! I also have a rule with online dating – I only will do a maximum of 3 emails before meeting. If they can’t commit for a even a quick coffee – then I don’t want to spend more time emailing back and forth for weeks at a time. Good luck and don’t give up!

  4. jill_km@hotmail.com

    Let me just say, not having luck with online dating is not a weight thing! There are just so many guys out there that aren’t looking a long term meaningful relationship. Yes, I know there are – but they seem far and few between. The reality is, there aren’t that many places to meet people anymore, online seems to be the only place which is really sad. Also any guy that is worth it in the long wrong, will want to be with you on this healthy life journey – not just swoop in at the end when you are all done – and really, are we ever really done being healthy and improving ourselves? No, we are not – so embrace yourself as you change, and I believe someone else will as well! I also have a rule with online dating – I only will do a maximum of 3 emails before meeting. If they can’t commit for a even a quick coffee – then I don’t want to spend more time emailing back and forth for weeks at a time. Good luck and don’t give up!

  5. Sophia Allen

    I agree with everything you said. The ups and downs of dating is faced by women of all different sizes. I have experienced all she listed and continue to persevere. Here’s hoping!!

  6. soosacy@gmail.com

    I agree with everything you said. The ups and downs of dating is faced by women of all different sizes. I have experienced all she listed and continue to persevere. Here’s hoping!!

  7. msalexeasmoot@yahoo.com

    Yeah I recently just shut all my online dating sites down….they guys are wack, perverted and shallow 🙁 POF sucks

  8. joshua87evans@gmail.com

    One has to shut down his/her profile after meeting his/her soulmate. I shut my profile immediately after meeting my lady on http://www.rbrides.com . The evening I got her telephone number, I deleted my profile. It was a correct decision:)

  9. hongdi

    “You are too fat too love” this is the message that I got from Tinder. But so what? I got lots of nice words on other plus-size centered dating APP. The world is changing attitude to big girls, Tess is an example, but not fast enough. So we need to be together to fight body-shaming in an irrefutable way, like our own beauty, style and attitude. This is why WooPlus is created.

    Reference link: WooPlus – Free Dating APP where beauty only belongs to plus-size singles and body-positive supporters.

  10. hongdi89@outlook.com

    “You are too fat too love” this is the message that I got from Tinder. But so what? I got lots of nice words on other plus-size centered dating APP. The world is changing attitude to big girls, Tess is an example, but not fast enough. So we need to be together to fight body-shaming in an irrefutable way, like our own beauty, style and attitude. This is why WooPlus is created.

    Reference link: WooPlus – Free Dating APP where beauty only belongs to plus-size singles and body-positive supporters.

  11. Maura Alia Badji

    POF is more like SOF Sewer of Fish. (Or Plenty of F-Boys) When I was on that site I found that 98% of the men were using it as if it was Online Booty Call or worse no matter what the woman’s size. And–Yes–Many men see a curvy woman and think—she will be desperate for sex and tolerant of undercover lover status. It made me doubt the intentions of ALL men I encountered online. Your response is on point, CeCe. I personally think your reader may want to delete her POF account and seek out another site with a less :grimy” customer base. There are a lot of others out there. (I’m currently out of the loop) I love your site and your honesty about your journey.

  12. themoxiebee1@gmail.com

    POF is more like SOF Sewer of Fish. (Or Plenty of F-Boys) When I was on that site I found that 98% of the men were using it as if it was Online Booty Call or worse no matter what the woman’s size. And–Yes–Many men see a curvy woman and think—she will be desperate for sex and tolerant of undercover lover status. It made me doubt the intentions of ALL men I encountered online. Your response is on point, CeCe. I personally think your reader may want to delete her POF account and seek out another site with a less :grimy” customer base. There are a lot of others out there. (I’m currently out of the loop) I love your site and your honesty about your journey.

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