Dating

Dear CeCe: I’m Still a Virgin… HELP! #CurvyConvo

September 29 2014 | CeCe Olisa

Soooo suddenly, my email inbox is full of letters from Plus Size Princesses who are also riding the “V Train”.  As you may have noticed, dating & relationships is usually what I stick to, but the amount of “Help, I’m still a virgin!” emails I’m getting tells me that we need to talk about this… so I’m going to step out of my comfort zone and answer two letters that I feel all of the virgins can relate to.

Everyone’s view of intimacy is different, and there’s no perfect answer that will fit everyone, so please feel free leave comments and offer guidance to these girls if you have it. I’ve gone into much more detail in the YouTube Video Below:

Letter 1:

Hey, CeCe!

I have a dilemma, a big one. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for four months now. Through advice from you and your blog posts, I was able to actually get over all of my body hangups, and I am able to be vulnerable with him when it comes to my body. My issue is that I am a 23 year oldvirgin,. I (one) never met anyone I felt comfortable getting intimate with before my boyfriend that felt like getting intimate with me back and (two) I have been battling with myself, and my religious beliefs on if I want to stay avirgin until marriage or not.

I have gone back and forth with this, and now that I found a guy I actually love, I’m thinking more and more that I would actually want to do the deed with him. A part of me is hesitant though. I mean, when I’m not a virgin any longer, what am I? I have been virgin Stephanie to all of my friends and family and it’s a part of my identity. I even used to wear it as a badge of honor. But a part of me wants to eventually (giving myself a year together before crossing that line) just share this with my boyfriend, who loves me like…I never thought I could or would be loved. But the other part feels like everyone will judge me, think less of me, and say that I was the girl that gave it up.

I know you may not be able to tell me what to do exactly, but I guess I am looking for advice on what you would do, or anything that could help. (Of course, no pressure from my boyfriend, he’s prepared to wait until marriage). I just know when it’s gone, it’s gone. And that part is terrifying. I don’t want to make a mistake or the wrong choice. 

Thank you for taking the time out to read this, if you ever get the chance. I love your blog and have been an avid reader for years.

Letter #2

Dear CeCe,

I’m a big fan of your blog and the positive and powerful messages you share with your readers. I’ve been one of those readers for over a year now. I’ve gotten so much strength out of your writing, and that’s why today I decided to write you an email out of the state of mind I’m in right now. 

I have had no luck in dating. I’ve had guys taken advantage of my good heart. That’s why when I met this new guy online I was so happy that we talked trough text messages for over a month. He is Muslim and couldn’t meet up, because he was fasting for Ramadan for the past month. He was clear he wanted to meet me after this month and we stayed in contact. Our conversations got longer and longer and even tough I tried to slow things down we both expressed our feelings for each other. There was only one thing I kept a secret from him. The thing is, i’m a 26 year old virgin. I didn’t want to tell him over the phone about this very personal and intimate part of myself. But at some point our conversations gotten too long and I felt I couldn’t keep it a secret. So I told him and he was shocked. Two days after this conversation he told me trough text he changed his mind. He said it was not his task to take my virginity and because i was already 26 i should continue to wait for marriage. The warm man he was earlier became ice cold. What’s the worth of staying a virgin if it feels like a burden?

I was hoping to get some advice or an opinion from you or your readers. Maybe they recognize the situation I’m in? 

Hi Ladies,

First of all, thanks so much for trusting me with such an intimate topic. I’ve made a video addressing both of your letters, but here are some things to think about as you watch:

1.) Why do we value/devalue ourselves based on our “body count”? I often feel like people make you feel awkward about sleeping with zero people and awkward if you’ve slept with lots of people. Is there something else we should be using to define ourselves as women?

2.) I can totally understand having your virginity as part of your identity. If you were raised in the church like me, purity culture is probably ingrained in you from the time you could say “he’s cute!”. Waiting for marriage is such a beautiful choice (a choice you’ll have to make again and again with each relationship, as you’re clearly learning ;-)) but I dont think you should feel like you’re falling off of your pedestal just because you decided to “do the do”

3.) I’m always careful not to put my self esteem in the hands of others. Parents, Pastors, Boyfriends, Girlfriends… none of them have the right to make us feel valued/de-valued based on what we do with our bodies.

4.) If you’re looking to lose your virginity, do your best to make it a shame and guilt free experience. Don’t rush things if you’re not ready. Dont feel bad if you’re more than ready… deep down you know what’s right for you

5.) As PSPs a lot of us struggle with physical intimacy because of our body image issues. That’s okay and perfectly normal. I still think its up to us to learn how to love ourselves in every way before we start introducing other folks into the equation. Perhaps we need to have some… um… solo intimacy times, put John Mayer “Your Body is a Wonderland” on repeat and go exploring!

Got a question for me? Contact me here!

Okay, now for this video where I dive deeper into virginity (and why I think the muslim guy bounced lol)

Facebook Comments

40 responses on “Dear CeCe: I’m Still a Virgin… HELP! #CurvyConvo

  1. Kaye Dacus

    CeCe, I’m new to your blog and have been enjoying exploring your archives. But I had to comment on this post, as it’s something that hits especially close to home for me.

    I’m forty three. I’ve been a PSP since I hit puberty. Not only am I still a virgin, I’ve never been in any kind of romantic relationship ever in my life. Not because I haven’t wanted to—believe me, I’ve wanted to! I’ve been in love twice in my life. Unfortunately, neither of the recipients of my regard felt the same way. But while it was heartbreaking to walk away from those non-relationships, at least I can look back on them with something of a melancholic fondness now—and no regret that I did anything I shouldn’t have or that would have hurt me even more…such as having sex with someone who didn’t feel the same way for me as I did for him.

    That said, I want to thank you for your message of encouragement and empowerment for the women who will read/view this. It’s amazing how fulfilled my life has been, even without sex and romantic relationships. After the existential crisis of “OMG, I’m 25…26…27 and still not married!”, I pulled myself together, went back to college (after dropping out at 21) and finished my degrees. I’ve joined multiple professional organizations and travel to conferences several times a year. I chased my dream of being a full-time writer—and caught it! (And then realized it wasn’t really my dream. So I decided on another dream to chase.)

    I’ve accomplished pretty much everything I’ve ever set out to do in my life—the main exception being the one thing that I have no control over, which is meeting someone and falling into forever love with him and growing old together (and having a wonderful sex life, of course). But not achieving one dream out of hundreds isn’t a bad record of success.

    Women are wonderful creations, so full of complexities and strengths that most of us don’t even know about ourselves. Thank you so much for encouraging women to find their validation in themselves and what they can accomplish rather than looking for it from outside sources. That’s been one of the hardest but most valuable lessons I’ve learned in my life.

    1. CeCe Olisa

      Hi Kaye! Congrats on all of your accomplishments, wowza! You’re right, its all so complex and so crazy to navigate. Thanks sooooo much for your candid and honest response, your perspective is important to this convo… xoxo

  2. electric lady

    I completely agree that we should value our bodies as more than virgins, or pure, or anything that has to do with people outside of ourselves. I would add that a huge part of a successful long term relationship is in fact sex- whether that is how much you have it, how you have it, how you communicate, etc. Trying that part out with a partner who you value and want to get to know on a deeper level should not cause shame. If it doesn’t work in the long run, then it didn’t work out. I would hope that we wouldn’t see trying out intimacy as a personal failure because it won’t be shiny and new anymore for another guy. That’s placing too much value on the virginity thing, rather than valuing knowing yourself, feeling good, and knowing you can make choices for yourself. Sex makes us vulnerable! Shame is hard to shake away, but very rewarding if we do.

    1. CeCe Olisa

      YES! Shame will kill the mood for anyone and we carry it with us for years to come. Best to come to your decisions knowing that you’re doing whats right for you then you can enjoy your enjoyment as you choose!

  3. pablita.santos@gmail.com

    I completely agree that we should value our bodies as more than virgins, or pure, or anything that has to do with people outside of ourselves. I would add that a huge part of a successful long term relationship is in fact sex- whether that is how much you have it, how you have it, how you communicate, etc. Trying that part out with a partner who you value and want to get to know on a deeper level should not cause shame. If it doesn’t work in the long run, then it didn’t work out. I would hope that we wouldn’t see trying out intimacy as a personal failure because it won’t be shiny and new anymore for another guy. That’s placing too much value on the virginity thing, rather than valuing knowing yourself, feeling good, and knowing you can make choices for yourself. Sex makes us vulnerable! Shame is hard to shake away, but very rewarding if we do.

    1. nycece@gmail.com

      YES! Shame will kill the mood for anyone and we carry it with us for years to come. Best to come to your decisions knowing that you’re doing whats right for you then you can enjoy your enjoyment as you choose!

  4. Genevieve

    I’m a 26 year old virgin and I know I’m waiting on someone that is worthy of my body and that’s how I want to look at it before and after I do the do. I want to be sure I have a strong connection, great chemistry, and someone that respects me. That’s the minimum and if you do not have that then keep it pushing. I like to tell guys upfront that you have to wait for this, gets rid of the disrespectful ones quick.

  5. geniyves@gmail.com

    I’m a 26 year old virgin and I know I’m waiting on someone that is worthy of my body and that’s how I want to look at it before and after I do the do. I want to be sure I have a strong connection, great chemistry, and someone that respects me. That’s the minimum and if you do not have that then keep it pushing. I like to tell guys upfront that you have to wait for this, gets rid of the disrespectful ones quick.

  6. Sophie

    So many thoughts about your post! I want to share a little bit of my story. I grew up in Christian environment too, even signed purity contracts. I was terrified of my own sexuality for a long time, despite wanting to have sex desperately! In my mid-twenties I thought a hole into the ground trying to make a decision about how I was going to lose my virginity in such a way that I’d still be at peace with myself. I finally decided to have a one-night-stand with a guy I thought was cute and had a good gut-instinct about (that is, I knew he was kind, but I wasn’t attached emotionally). It was fine! We had fun despite the first-time-jitters. Afterwards, I didn’t feel any shame. Amazingly, I felt RELIEVED. Having sex released me from constantly thinking about (and feeling burdened by) my sexuality.

    I was also shocked at how “normal” it felt and how much of a non-event in turned out to be. You’re raised to think that sex will be this magical, spiritual experience. Even sex with my boyfriend of three years isn’t like that. It’s absolutely wonderful, but it’s not everything. I read this quote once that read, “The concept of virginity was invented by men who believed their penises were so important they could fundamentally change who a woman is.” THIS. Having sex didn’t change the fabric of who I was. We give sex too much power.

    I realise that it’s not ideal for women to learn to accept their bodies and improve their self-esteem through flings and relationships, but for me it had happen that way. Seeing other people love your body is very powerful, especially for plus size girls who are brought up to believe that their body is “wrong”. So even though I wish I’d grown up in a nurturing and body-positive environment, I got there in the end. No regrets.

    I don’t feel judgement from God or shame over my decision.

  7. sophruss@gmail.com

    So many thoughts about your post! I want to share a little bit of my story. I grew up in Christian environment too, even signed purity contracts. I was terrified of my own sexuality for a long time, despite wanting to have sex desperately! In my mid-twenties I thought a hole into the ground trying to make a decision about how I was going to lose my virginity in such a way that I’d still be at peace with myself. I finally decided to have a one-night-stand with a guy I thought was cute and had a good gut-instinct about (that is, I knew he was kind, but I wasn’t attached emotionally). It was fine! We had fun despite the first-time-jitters. Afterwards, I didn’t feel any shame. Amazingly, I felt RELIEVED. Having sex released me from constantly thinking about (and feeling burdened by) my sexuality.
    I was also shocked at how “normal” it felt and how much of a non-event in turned out to be. You’re raised to think that sex will be this magical, spiritual experience. Even sex with my boyfriend of three years isn’t like that. It’s absolutely wonderful, but it’s not everything. I read this quote once that read, “The concept of virginity was invented by men who believed their penises were so important they could fundamentally change who a woman is.” THIS. Having sex didn’t change the fabric of who I was. We give sex too much power.

    I realise that it’s not ideal for women to learn to accept their bodies and improve their self-esteem through flings and relationships, but for me it had happen that way. Seeing other people love your body is very powerful, especially for plus size girls who are brought up to believe that their body is “wrong”. So even though I wish I’d grown up in a nurturing and body-positive environment, I got there in the end. No regrets.

    I don’t feel judgement from God or shame over my decision.

  8. kate

    Those are great questions to consider except for the Your Body is a Wonderland part. Nobody needs to be thinking about John Mayer during solo sexy times. 😉

  9. tansd4646@aol.com

    Those are great questions to consider except for the Your Body is a Wonderland part. Nobody needs to be thinking about John Mayer during solo sexy times. 😉

  10. Dani

    I have so many thoughts and feelings on being a virgin. Now at 22yrs old, I’ve always put it off because of religion, my physical appearance, lack of confidence, not finding the right person, and/or marriage, but I think my main reason is FEAR. I’m afraid of people finding out my v-card is not longer valid, I’m afraid of the first time pain I’ve read/heard about, I’m afraid of STD’s, I’m afraid of possible pregnancies, and I’m afraid that once it happens, the person will feel as if they’ve gotten what they came for and walk away… all of which have happened to friends of mine. It’s just ridiculous the amount of power we have given sex. I mean, it’s literally everywhere! I cannot turn on the tv or log-in to facebook without some type of intimate detail being thrown in my face.
    Also, I’ve proudly represented myself as a virgin, when the topic comes up in conversation and have taken it as far as writing a lengthy post on my blog about how I feel completely alone in the “world of virgins” lol.
    In addition, I have lost out on relationships because guys not only refuse to try and understand where I’m coming from but also refuse to wait until, preferably, marriage or at least until I’m mentally ready for that next step. And I feel as if I take the next step prior to marriage people around me will give me the infamous side-eye. Idk, I just get very scatterbrained when the topic comes up because I know where I stand and why I am taking this stand but become so frustrated with myself when I cannot get someone I am interested in to understand me.
    But, this video has finally made me realize that I am not the only girl, or plus sized girl, struggling with this issue… Thanks!

  11. Boopersweet@yahoo.com

    I have so many thoughts and feelings on being a virgin. Now at 22yrs old, I’ve always put it off because of religion, my physical appearance, lack of confidence, not finding the right person, and/or marriage, but I think my main reason is FEAR. I’m afraid of people finding out my v-card is not longer valid, I’m afraid of the first time pain I’ve read/heard about, I’m afraid of STD’s, I’m afraid of possible pregnancies, and I’m afraid that once it happens, the person will feel as if they’ve gotten what they came for and walk away… all of which have happened to friends of mine. It’s just ridiculous the amount of power we have given sex. I mean, it’s literally everywhere! I cannot turn on the tv or log-in to facebook without some type of intimate detail being thrown in my face.Also, I’ve proudly represented myself as a virgin, when the topic comes up in conversation and have taken it as far as writing a lengthy post on my blog about how I feel completely alone in the “world of virgins” lol.
    In addition, I have lost out on relationships because guys not only refuse to try and understand where I’m coming from but also refuse to wait until, preferably, marriage or at least until I’m mentally ready for that next step. And I feel as if I take the next step prior to marriage people around me will give me the infamous side-eye. Idk, I just get very scatterbrained when the topic comes up because I know where I stand and why I am taking this stand but become so frustrated with myself when I cannot get someone I am interested in to understand me.
    But, this video has finally made me realize that I am not the only girl, or plus sized girl, struggling with this issue… Thanks!

  12. Alicia

    Can I just say even though it’s cliche but when the time is right you’ll know? That second girl dodged a bullet with that Muslim guy -he wasn’t the one. If he was he’ll respect your decision and it won’t be all about sex.

  13. teinegurl@yahoo.com

    Can I just say even though it’s cliche but when the time is right you’ll know? That second girl dodged a bullet with that Muslim guy -he wasn’t the one. If he was he’ll respect your decision and it won’t be all about sex.

  14. Heather

    I’m of the opinion that this idea of virginity is something that has been pushed on women by patriarchal society as a way to literally have value in an investment. The whole idea that you have to get your “cherry popped”, hymen breaking and all that is actually a scientific myth! Your hymen does not break whatsoever. It merely stretches during sex. The idea that a man “takes your virginity” is just a way to make a woman weaker and sex have negative connotations but only for the woman.

    Sex is healthy. Sex is fun. It should be enjoyed whenever (and with whom) YOU want to do it with. Your family, friends, religion should have no influence on something that is ultimately your decision. I was a virgin until I was nearly 25. This was not by choice, I didn’t really date (never was asked out) and I am old enough that the online dating thing wasn’t really an option in my late teen years. Once I started online dating in college I actually went on dates and yea some guys were intimidated by that fact. I funny slept with the guy that became my first boyfriend. I really liked him and we had really good chemistry but we definitely got it over with pretty quickly. I have absolutely no regrets!

    Now I am going on 29 and I have had two other boyfriends as well as a lot of dates and hookups. I am no ashamed of any of them. I’ve met some great, attractive, fun guys and I’ve met some guys that turned out to be lame, but that is dating! I am a woman and I enjoy sex. I make sure to play safe and healthfully! This works for me and my lifestyle and while I’m sure some people may think I’m slutty and my mom may not LOVE the idea of me being sexually active, who cares? I do what I want with my own body. Confidence in yourself and trust in your decisions is key here. Not everyone can live with hookups. Not everyone can wait until marriage. I know I could not have done that with the latter. Especially after losing my virginity, sex is such a key component to a healthy relationship (unless you are asexual) that if you find out too late that you aren’t compatible in that area it could cause problems down the line. But regardless if it is what you want, that is the most important thing. End stop.

  15. jlv1117@yahoo.com

    I’m of the opinion that this idea of virginity is something that has been pushed on women by patriarchal society as a way to literally have value in an investment. The whole idea that you have to get your “cherry popped”, hymen breaking and all that is actually a scientific myth! Your hymen does not break whatsoever. It merely stretches during sex. The idea that a man “takes your virginity” is just a way to make a woman weaker and sex have negative connotations but only for the woman.

    Sex is healthy. Sex is fun. It should be enjoyed whenever (and with whom) YOU want to do it with. Your family, friends, religion should have no influence on something that is ultimately your decision. I was a virgin until I was nearly 25. This was not by choice, I didn’t really date (never was asked out) and I am old enough that the online dating thing wasn’t really an option in my late teen years. Once I started online dating in college I actually went on dates and yea some guys were intimidated by that fact. I funny slept with the guy that became my first boyfriend. I really liked him and we had really good chemistry but we definitely got it over with pretty quickly. I have absolutely no regrets!

    Now I am going on 29 and I have had two other boyfriends as well as a lot of dates and hookups. I am no ashamed of any of them. I’ve met some great, attractive, fun guys and I’ve met some guys that turned out to be lame, but that is dating! I am a woman and I enjoy sex. I make sure to play safe and healthfully! This works for me and my lifestyle and while I’m sure some people may think I’m slutty and my mom may not LOVE the idea of me being sexually active, who cares? I do what I want with my own body. Confidence in yourself and trust in your decisions is key here. Not everyone can live with hookups. Not everyone can wait until marriage. I know I could not have done that with the latter. Especially after losing my virginity, sex is such a key component to a healthy relationship (unless you are asexual) that if you find out too late that you aren’t compatible in that area it could cause problems down the line. But regardless if it is what you want, that is the most important thing. End stop.

  16. AstarteOurania

    I think our society creates such a big deal over having sex the first time, that it always has to be some great, romantic love or fairy tale. I was 25 when I first had sex and it wasn’t that I was “saving myself” but that I was too busy with other things to get involved with anyone. I hadn’t created a story in my mind about it and afterwards I was wondered why everyone made a big deal about it. It’s just a normal part of life. I never felt that sex with my subsequent partners was lesser because they weren’t “the first,” every time is special when you love that person…or sometimes you want to just have fun. 🙂 If people want to wait for marriage, that’s fine too, I just don’t think it’s any more special than not waiting. It’s just a choice.

    Definitely, what you choose to do is your own business and not your family’s, pastor’s, friends’, etc. They don’t need to know every detail of life and even if they do, devaluing you speaks to their negativity. Also agree, don’t rush into things. Take your time and if you’re being pressured to have sex, that person is probably not right for you because it’s a sign that he or she is putting his or her own wants above listening and having empathy for you.

  17. evangelia@aol.com

    I think our society creates such a big deal over having sex the first time, that it always has to be some great, romantic love or fairy tale. I was 25 when I first had sex and it wasn’t that I was “saving myself” but that I was too busy with other things to get involved with anyone. I hadn’t created a story in my mind about it and afterwards I was wondered why everyone made a big deal about it. It’s just a normal part of life. I never felt that sex with my subsequent partners was lesser because they weren’t “the first,” every time is special when you love that person…or sometimes you want to just have fun. 🙂 If people want to wait for marriage, that’s fine too, I just don’t think it’s any more special than not waiting. It’s just a choice.
    Definitely, what you choose to do is your own business and not your family’s, pastor’s, friends’, etc. They don’t need to know every detail of life and even if they do, devaluing you speaks to their negativity. Also agree, don’t rush into things. Take your time and if you’re being pressured to have sex, that person is probably not right for you because it’s a sign that he or she is putting his or her own wants above listening and having empathy for you.

  18. Sarosa

    Hello everyone,
    So I’m the woman from the Muslim guy letter. First of all I would like to thank Cece for using my letter and respond with such a heartfelt, honest and wise video and blog post. I feel the same way about all the lovely readers who have responded already. I feel so empowered by all your stories.

    I would like to give an update on everything. Since the day the guy texted me lot’s of things have happened. I was really down, not only because of him but also because of problems in my family. I had to pick myself up and even tough I’m still climbing my way up, I feel much stronger and selfaware then two months ago. In these two months I’ve experimented with my sexuality. I still have that v card, but I did have three dates with guys just to explore… haha It made me realise I love to be sexually active and it felt liberating to experiment. I still haven’t gone all the way, but I know now that my virginity isn’t a burden unless I make it one. It’s my choice and I feel free now to experiment with it. I still have a small fear that a guy only wants to sleep with me and will run away. But that has more to do with my own self esteem. I still have lots of work to do in terms of self love and knowing I’m worth to be loved, to be appreciated and to be find sexy and many more things. Thats why It was so good to read some of the responses and hear what Cece had to say. It’s my choice. It has to be right for me, myself and I.

    Then finally in a complete totally unexpected move, the muslim guy called me 3 days ago. He wanted to apologize for his behaviour and words. I did tell him the truth, how he hurted and dissapointed me. And that the way he spoke to me wasn’t acceptable what so ever. I also told him I forgave him. Best experience for me was that I didn’t needed his actual apology to forgive him. I actually forgot about him. It made it easy for me to forgive. I did tell him I didn’t forget. He wants to meet me now. All my friend are warning me, because they feel he is a bad guy for the way he treated me. I’m still in dubio if I will meet up with him. But I do feel extra empowered with all these wonderful respones.

    Thank you so much and I’m sending my love and gratitude to you all!

    xxx

  19. sweet_saaniya@hotmail.com

    Hello everyone,So I’m the woman from the Muslim guy letter. First of all I would like to thank Cece for using my letter and respond with such a heartfelt, honest and wise video and blog post. I feel the same way about all the lovely readers who have responded already. I feel so empowered by all your stories.

    I would like to give an update on everything. Since the day the guy texted me lot’s of things have happened. I was really down, not only because of him but also because of problems in my family. I had to pick myself up and even tough I’m still climbing my way up, I feel much stronger and selfaware then two months ago. In these two months I’ve experimented with my sexuality. I still have that v card, but I did have three dates with guys just to explore… haha It made me realise I love to be sexually active and it felt liberating to experiment. I still haven’t gone all the way, but I know now that my virginity isn’t a burden unless I make it one. It’s my choice and I feel free now to experiment with it. I still have a small fear that a guy only wants to sleep with me and will run away. But that has more to do with my own self esteem. I still have lots of work to do in terms of self love and knowing I’m worth to be loved, to be appreciated and to be find sexy and many more things. Thats why It was so good to read some of the responses and hear what Cece had to say. It’s my choice. It has to be right for me, myself and I.

    Then finally in a complete totally unexpected move, the muslim guy called me 3 days ago. He wanted to apologize for his behaviour and words. I did tell him the truth, how he hurted and dissapointed me. And that the way he spoke to me wasn’t acceptable what so ever. I also told him I forgave him. Best experience for me was that I didn’t needed his actual apology to forgive him. I actually forgot about him. It made it easy for me to forgive. I did tell him I didn’t forget. He wants to meet me now. All my friend are warning me, because they feel he is a bad guy for the way he treated me. I’m still in dubio if I will meet up with him. But I do feel extra empowered with all these wonderful respones.

    Thank you so much and I’m sending my love and gratitude to you all!

    xxx

  20. Brittany Townsley

    Wow. CeCe, I am new to your blog (I just read an article you wrote on Refinery29) and just had to check you out. I have to say, I am blown away by not only this post/video but everything you have posted about. I am a fashion blogger myself (www.the-fbombs.com) and lately I have been pretty underwhelmed by some of my favorite fashion bloggers and your blog just breathed new light into me! I love how supportive you are of other women (sometimes this doesn’t happen in the fashion blogging world) and how much love you show your readers. I cannot thank you enough for being you and sharing your life with the world! You have a reader for life! 🙂

  21. Brittany.Townsley@gmail.com

    Wow. CeCe, I am new to your blog (I just read an article you wrote on Refinery29) and just had to check you out. I have to say, I am blown away by not only this post/video but everything you have posted about. I am a fashion blogger myself (www.the-fbombs.com) and lately I have been pretty underwhelmed by some of my favorite fashion bloggers and your blog just breathed new light into me! I love how supportive you are of other women (sometimes this doesn’t happen in the fashion blogging world) and how much love you show your readers. I cannot thank you enough for being you and sharing your life with the world! You have a reader for life! 🙂

  22. prettyinblackXx

    The first time I slept with a guy was later in life. It was well worth the wait! 😉 I wasn’t waiting for Prince Charming or anything like that; just a solid, sweet and attractive (to me) guy who dug me for my mind and wanted me for my ass. I got that in spades. I never had both sides come together: some guys dug me for my personality/intellect/wit and guys who wanted me for my body.

    The guy was awesome: smart, attractive, witty (which was a big plus for me. That was the primary attraction), had a cute butt and was super attracted to me physically. There was no bells ringing or anything, but we both had a great time.He was also a decade younger than me, which I think added to it. Don’t discount the younger man with the old soul!

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    The first time I slept with a guy was later in life. It was well worth the wait! 😉 I wasn’t waiting for Prince Charming or anything like that; just a solid, sweet and attractive (to me) guy who dug me for my mind and wanted me for my ass. I got that in spades. I never had both sides come together: some guys dug me for my personality/intellect/wit and guys who wanted me for my body.
    The guy was awesome: smart, attractive, witty (which was a big plus for me. That was the primary attraction), had a cute butt and was super attracted to me physically. There was no bells ringing or anything, but we both had a great time.He was also a decade younger than me, which I think added to it. Don’t discount the younger man with the old soul!

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