Curvy Conversations

You’re Skinny, So… Please Stop Calling Yourself A “Fat Girl” In Front Of Me

August 25 2014 | CeCe Olisa

“I was such a fat girl yesterday,” my college roommate said.

I had just returned from a weekend trip and from what I could tell, her dancer’s body had not changed in the 48 hours that I was gone. Understandably, I had no idea what she was talking about…and then she started listing all of the things she’d eaten the day before.

Oh.

Being a “fat girl” means eating Skittles, pizza, and soda while watching movies? No — not okay. That’s not what it means at all.

As a plus-size lady, I’ve never had an “us” vs. “them” mentality when it came to smaller women. I’ve never called someone a “skinny b*tch.” I’ve never hated someone for their fast metabolism and, in general, the body I’m most concerned about is my own. (Fitness and healthy living at any size is very important to me.)

Now, as I constantly hear men and women referencing themselves as “fat guy/girl” when they eat poorly, I can’t help but feel annoyed. When did things go from “I’m having a cheat day” — which is another essay altogether — to, “I’m being a fat girl today”? 

To prove how ubiquitous this self-imposed label has become, I decided to type #FatGirl or #FatGirlProblems into Instagram, and I was dismayed to find photo after photo of fast food items, donuts, and other unhealthy things.

When people label plates of chocolate cake #FatGirl, I can’t help but think that they’re secretly looking at me and thinking, ‘There’s someone who knows how to have her cake and eat it, too.’ Don’t they know that size is not a definitive indicator of a person’s lifestyle or health?
stop calling yourself a fat girl when you eat cece olisa
I guess if I’m being up front and honest, everyday has been a fat girl day since around the time I was 12 years old. But, I don’t mean that I sat around eating cheeseburgers and cupcakes. My weight isn’t what it is because I’m lazy and put bad things in my mouth. For me, being overweight is a complicated mix of genetics and the way that my body processes things differently. It’s a very emotional thing for me — to put it mildly. 

Eventually, I learned that I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). This means, in a nutshell, that my body could care less about the amount I exercise or the good food choices I make, and that every pound I lose and keep off is an extraordinary feat. 

When I started the #PSPfit: Plus-Size Princess Fitness online workout community, my desire was to showcase that big girls do work out and eat healthy foods. I might be a fat girl, but I’m concerned about what I eat. I’m doing my best with the (genetic) cards I’ve been dealt. I’m a fat girl, and I refuse to hate myself; instead, I’m making the conscious choice to love myself despite what the scale says. 

And, this is why, as someone who has been a big girl all of her life and suffered through relentless judgment, slick remarks, and unsolicited diet advice, I’m beyond peeved at the trend of thin girls and dudes calling themselves fat.

I don’t mean to be dramatic; I get that your self-insult won’t ruin me, but I do think it’s rude and thoughtless when you eye a greasy plate of fries and call yourself a fat girl when it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Please stop.

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Read my original R29 post, here

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60 responses on “You’re Skinny, So… Please Stop Calling Yourself A “Fat Girl” In Front Of Me

  1. star519

    YES!! What is up with this? Is it just mindless repeating of overheard comments that these people think are “cute”? Please, spare me.

  2. jlhbsiar@gmail.com

    YES!! What is up with this? Is it just mindless repeating of overheard comments that these people think are “cute”? Please, spare me.

  3. Punky J

    Thanks for posting this Cece! Definitely have been a culprit of saying this after feeling super full after a big meal, but NEVER thought about the other side of it. Thank you for calling me out, it’s the subconscious insults that seem to hurt the most!

  4. pj.punky@gmail.com

    Thanks for posting this Cece! Definitely have been a culprit of saying this after feeling super full after a big meal, but NEVER thought about the other side of it. Thank you for calling me out, it’s the subconscious insults that seem to hurt the most!

  5. SandyNYC

    I see what you’re saying Cece but the truth is that although there is a % of PSPs that struggle with their weight due to some type of physical condition, the majority of us are eating big portions and not the right foods. And while there are some overweight people that do exercise, many of us don’t. Let’s call a spade a spade and I say that with all due respect because I am a PSP and I am overweight. I’ve had an extensive physical done and the only thing impeding a healthier me are my eating habits and lack of exercise. Again, some people so have conditions that make it more challenging to lose weight but that is not the case for many of us

    1. Bethany

      Yet skinny people can eat the exact same way sometimes and happen to not get fat. I am guilty of overeating – but not the extent my 110 lbs sister is. These phrases are about mocking fat people. That’s not ok.

    2. CeCe Olisa

      I hear what you’re saying but for me one doesn’t dictate the other in any direction. There are folks who eat well and are fat, folks who eat poorly and are skinny… none of it is a hard fast rule and that’s why it bothers me…

  6. Ivie123@yahoo.com

    I see what you’re saying Cece but the truth is that although there is a % of PSPs that struggle with their weight due to some type of physical condition, the majority of us are eating big portions and not the right foods. And while there are some overweight people that do exercise, many of us don’t. Let’s call a spade a spade and I say that with all due respect because I am a PSP and I am overweight. I’ve had an extensive physical done and the only thing impeding a healthier me are my eating habits and lack of exercise. Again, some people so have conditions that make it more challenging to lose weight but that is not the case for many of us

    1. bethanyethomas@gmail.com

      Yet skinny people can eat the exact same way sometimes and happen to not get fat. I am guilty of overeating – but not the extent my 110 lbs sister is. These phrases are about mocking fat people. That’s not ok.

    2. nycece@gmail.com

      I hear what you’re saying but for me one doesn’t dictate the other in any direction. There are folks who eat well and are fat, folks who eat poorly and are skinny… none of it is a hard fast rule and that’s why it bothers me…

  7. Sapphire Devon

    YES!! This is so annoying to hear. If you don’t have to shop in the plus size section, then you are not fat…no matter how many cheeseburgers and french fries you just ate.

  8. sapphiredevon@gmail.com

    YES!! This is so annoying to hear. If you don’t have to shop in the plus size section, then you are not fat…no matter how many cheeseburgers and french fries you just ate.

  9. Zombie Love Affair

    I’ve had 2 friends that have said that kinda of thing to me, oddly enough they are both men. Lately its been a coworker that body builds and is currently eating extra to make gains. He will tell me about what he eats and then say something like “I feel so fat” or “I’m getting sooo fat”, which is far from the truth. I am not a sympathizer, I will never say “Oh, you look so good, don’t be ridiculous” because he does not deserve it. He is fished for compliments and I’m not a fish for him to catch. All I say is “you realize you are saying this to someone who is indeed fat?” and he will reply “I was fat when I was a kid, I know what its like”.

    Not really! Being fat as a kid is hard (been there too), but being fat as an adult? That is a whole different ballpark. When someone fat shames, I call them out, I enjoy the look on their face when they realize what they are saying is wrong.

    Unfortunately, I don’t ever see this trend changing. Just like “Oh, you look so skinny” is seen as a compliment to the average person. There are people trying to initiate change, but I don’t think it will ever not be “the norm”.

  10. shyzahkitty@gmail.com

    I’ve had 2 friends that have said that kinda of thing to me, oddly enough they are both men. Lately its been a coworker that body builds and is currently eating extra to make gains. He will tell me about what he eats and then say something like “I feel so fat” or “I’m getting sooo fat”, which is far from the truth. I am not a sympathizer, I will never say “Oh, you look so good, don’t be ridiculous” because he does not deserve it. He is fished for compliments and I’m not a fish for him to catch. All I say is “you realize you are saying this to someone who is indeed fat?” and he will reply “I was fat when I was a kid, I know what its like”.

    Not really! Being fat as a kid is hard (been there too), but being fat as an adult? That is a whole different ballpark. When someone fat shames, I call them out, I enjoy the look on their face when they realize what they are saying is wrong.

    Unfortunately, I don’t ever see this trend changing. Just like “Oh, you look so skinny” is seen as a compliment to the average person. There are people trying to initiate change, but I don’t think it will ever not be “the norm”.

  11. masbetter

    I get so annoyed when people equate fat people with fat people behaviors – as if all fat people do the same thing or got fat the same way. I don’t sit at home stuffing my face.

  12. Jackie Gibson

    I’m not sure if my first comment was posted or not, but I am glad you wrote about this issue. So many of my friends say this and it makes me cringe.
    I sent you a Facebook Message about this maybe a month or so ago but I wasn’t sure if you saw it or not.
    Either way, THANK YOU for writing about this.

    High Five CeCe!

    Thanks,

    Jackie

    1. CeCe Olisa

      Hi Jackie!! I totes responded to your message, guess it didnt go through… so glad you saw this post… it was a low key dedication to you lol xoxo

  13. jacquelyn.lanise@gmail.com

    I’m not sure if my first comment was posted or not, but I am glad you wrote about this issue. So many of my friends say this and it makes me cringe.I sent you a Facebook Message about this maybe a month or so ago but I wasn’t sure if you saw it or not.
    Either way, THANK YOU for writing about this.

    High Five CeCe!

    Thanks,

    Jackie

    1. nycece@gmail.com

      Hi Jackie!! I totes responded to your message, guess it didnt go through… so glad you saw this post… it was a low key dedication to you lol xoxo

  14. Coffee Lover

    I left a genuine and sincere comment on your page because I could relate and identify with your struggle and your struggle. I was not going to go into the long details of what has personally helped me with PCOS after tons of my own research and leave a super long comment. I thought maybe you would message me but nope instead you deleted my comment and blocked me from leaving comments. I know what is is like to put in tons of effort and not see things budge when hormones are working against you. Once I got things balanced the loss started to happen and it makes me super happy and I seem to want to share the knowledge with everyone. I thought I could help and share with you but seems like you don’t need any help from me so carry on with being a “fat girl”

    1. thebiggirlblog

      Awwww I didn’t block anyone today. I’ve been on my cell phone so maybe I did something accidentally… I’ll check when I’m home. Sorry if a mistake on my part hurt your feelings 🙁

  15. wannahavecoffee@yahoo.com

    I left a genuine and sincere comment on your page because I could relate and identify with your struggle and your struggle. I was not going to go into the long details of what has personally helped me with PCOS after tons of my own research and leave a super long comment. I thought maybe you would message me but nope instead you deleted my comment and blocked me from leaving comments. I know what is is like to put in tons of effort and not see things budge when hormones are working against you. Once I got things balanced the loss started to happen and it makes me super happy and I seem to want to share the knowledge with everyone. I thought I could help and share with you but seems like you don’t need any help from me so carry on with being a “fat girl”

    1. cece@thebiggirlblog.com

      Awwww I didn’t block anyone today. I’ve been on my cell phone so maybe I did something accidentally… I’ll check when I’m home. Sorry if a mistake on my part hurt your feelings 🙁

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