Body Image

Shhh! You’re Interrupting my Body Confidence Party…

May 11 2014 | CeCe Olisa

Have you ever been at a party where everyone was in the zone, dancing the night away and then a neighbor knocks on the door with a noise complaint and kills the whole vibe?

Sharing the intimate details of how I’m learning to love myself at any size isn’t an easy thing to do. But when your comments roll in and I realize I’m not alone, the body confidence party begins! Of course, on each post there’s always one vibe killing comment that goes something like this:

“Great piece. But being overweight is really unhealthy…”

The comment is usually followed by a cautionary list of ailments that I will get if I don’t start taking care of myself (diabetes, heart disease, etc.).

*record screeches to a halt*

Its as if people think I don’t know the health stats they’re quoting. Or as if they don’t care that I’m on a healthy curves journey. I feel like they’re saying I’m not skinny right now, then I have no business writing anything positive about my body or how I look.

This is the Plus Size Princess struggle.

CeCe Olisa Body Confidence Party.jpg

How do I love myself, value myself, care for myself at any size and keep the Body Confidence Party going, when there are people jumping at the chance to remind me that none of this matters if I’m still fat?

Mental health is a major part of plus size fitness, for me. I choose not to respond to negative comments, but I do want to mention it here with you girls because I know we’re all trying to figure this out together.

Finding ways to feel good about myself no matter what the scale says is the thing that makes me want to do better by my body; eat well, work out, pray/meditate. I’m running my own race and for me, I’ve got to tackle this #PSPfit healthy living thing mind, body and spirit.

There will always be people who can’t fathom that a person at our size (whatever that may be) feels good about herself. Those people seem to feel that they have a responsibility to interrupt our body confidence party with a PSA on how being fat is awful and unhealthy.

But hating yourself is awful and unhealthy too… so please stop killing my vibe!

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73 responses on “Shhh! You’re Interrupting my Body Confidence Party…

  1. Lizzie

    I have found that most people’s comments like that come from their own insecurities, the same place that makes them say to me (in the middle of the grocery store), “You really shouldn’t eat that cheese, dear. It isn’t going to help you.” Never you mind the haters, they hate themselves more than they have any real feelings towards the plus-size population. We are fabulous, and we can never forget that!

    1. slavetofashion

      You took the words right out of my mouth…… or typing fingers! People’s comments usually have more to do with them, than with you. With my crazy brain, I can get 20 nice comments, and 1 rude one and only focus on the rude one. But please remember that you are awesome and a great inspiration!

    2. slavetofashion

      You took the words right out of my mouth…… or typing fingers! People’s comments usually have more to do with them, than with you. With my crazy brain, I can get 20 nice comments, and 1 rude one and only focus on the rude one. But please remember that you are awesome and a great inspiration!

  2. dizzymna@gmail.com

    I have found that most people’s comments like that come from their own insecurities, the same place that makes them say to me (in the middle of the grocery store), “You really shouldn’t eat that cheese, dear. It isn’t going to help you.” Never you mind the haters, they hate themselves more than they have any real feelings towards the plus-size population. We are fabulous, and we can never forget that!

    1. cathy4cc@gmail.com

      You took the words right out of my mouth…… or typing fingers! People’s comments usually have more to do with them, than with you. With my crazy brain, I can get 20 nice comments, and 1 rude one and only focus on the rude one. But please remember that you are awesome and a great inspiration!

    2. cathy4cc@gmail.com

      You took the words right out of my mouth…… or typing fingers! People’s comments usually have more to do with them, than with you. With my crazy brain, I can get 20 nice comments, and 1 rude one and only focus on the rude one. But please remember that you are awesome and a great inspiration!

  3. sarah

    I recently found your blog and I adore you already! You keep taking the words right out of my mouth…There are always people who just don’t get it but it definitely is their own issues talking. Sadly, it took me a very long time to realize this. And the fact that you could also be healthy (and healthier than smaller folk) is a complete brain bender for some.

  4. sarah

    I recently found your blog and I adore you already! You keep taking the words right out of my mouth…There are always people who just don’t get it but it definitely is their own issues talking. Sadly, it took me a very long time to realize this. And the fact that you could also be healthy (and healthier than smaller folk) is a complete brain bender for some.

  5. sarah.pardi@gmail.com

    I recently found your blog and I adore you already! You keep taking the words right out of my mouth…There are always people who just don’t get it but it definitely is their own issues talking. Sadly, it took me a very long time to realize this. And the fact that you could also be healthy (and healthier than smaller folk) is a complete brain bender for some.

  6. sarah.pardi@gmail.com

    I recently found your blog and I adore you already! You keep taking the words right out of my mouth…There are always people who just don’t get it but it definitely is their own issues talking. Sadly, it took me a very long time to realize this. And the fact that you could also be healthy (and healthier than smaller folk) is a complete brain bender for some.

  7. JaVonna

    LOVE!! I can’t count how many times I have been out and about feeling myself and then someone says something like “Your face would be so pretty if you lost weight.” *crickets* That’s funny because I think I am pretty fly just as I am. B*tch, please don’t kill my vibe!!

  8. JaVonna

    LOVE!! I can’t count how many times I have been out and about feeling myself and then someone says something like “Your face would be so pretty if you lost weight.” *crickets* That’s funny because I think I am pretty fly just as I am. B*tch, please don’t kill my vibe!!

  9. JustJaVonna@gmail.com

    LOVE!! I can’t count how many times I have been out and about feeling myself and then someone says something like “Your face would be so pretty if you lost weight.” *crickets* That’s funny because I think I am pretty fly just as I am. B*tch, please don’t kill my vibe!!

  10. JustJaVonna@gmail.com

    LOVE!! I can’t count how many times I have been out and about feeling myself and then someone says something like “Your face would be so pretty if you lost weight.” *crickets* That’s funny because I think I am pretty fly just as I am. B*tch, please don’t kill my vibe!!

  11. Voice of Reason

    Amen! That is why I pay them losers no mind! Self confidence is important at any size. If I felt like crap about myself and then suddenly felt great about myself after losing 100 pounds, how real is my self confidence? It should not be attached to just looking a certain way, but on being a freaking awesome human being!! And I am one with or without that 100 pounds! And so are you!

  12. Voice of Reason

    Amen! That is why I pay them losers no mind! Self confidence is important at any size. If I felt like crap about myself and then suddenly felt great about myself after losing 100 pounds, how real is my self confidence? It should not be attached to just looking a certain way, but on being a freaking awesome human being!! And I am one with or without that 100 pounds! And so are you!

  13. atiyahorne@hotmail.com

    Amen! That is why I pay them losers no mind! Self confidence is important at any size. If I felt like crap about myself and then suddenly felt great about myself after losing 100 pounds, how real is my self confidence? It should not be attached to just looking a certain way, but on being a freaking awesome human being!! And I am one with or without that 100 pounds! And so are you!

  14. atiyahorne@hotmail.com

    Amen! That is why I pay them losers no mind! Self confidence is important at any size. If I felt like crap about myself and then suddenly felt great about myself after losing 100 pounds, how real is my self confidence? It should not be attached to just looking a certain way, but on being a freaking awesome human being!! And I am one with or without that 100 pounds! And so are you!

  15. Sarai Garnett

    Girl, keep the positive vibes flowing! I find the amount of “no offense but….” or “your message is great but obesity rates…” and blah, blah, blah to be exhausting. We princesses have way too much love in ourselves and our lives to be worried with party crashers. Party on, princesses! ☆

  16. sarai.garnett@gmail.com

    Girl, keep the positive vibes flowing! I find the amount of “no offense but….” or “your message is great but obesity rates…” and blah, blah, blah to be exhausting. We princesses have way too much love in ourselves and our lives to be worried with party crashers. Party on, princesses! ☆

  17. Lola

    Dear Cece, I so looooove your blog! You are truly an inspiration. Here in Nigeria, the plus size girl isn’t as lucky to get a support system as you all do in the U.S, therefore I find this blog amongst others as a breath of fresh air. These kinds of negative ”Vibe” comes even more so from close family and friends. These days, I just look at them squarely in the face and say “If I need some advice on healthy living, I’ll consult a nutritionist, thank you very much”. That’s a very polite way to tell them haters to shut that trap!

  18. Lola

    Dear Cece, I so looooove your blog! You are truly an inspiration. Here in Nigeria, the plus size girl isn’t as lucky to get a support system as you all do in the U.S, therefore I find this blog amongst others as a breath of fresh air. These kinds of negative ”Vibe” comes even more so from close family and friends. These days, I just look at them squarely in the face and say “If I need some advice on healthy living, I’ll consult a nutritionist, thank you very much”. That’s a very polite way to tell them haters to shut that trap!

  19. omololamarsh@ymail.com

    Dear Cece, I so looooove your blog! You are truly an inspiration. Here in Nigeria, the plus size girl isn’t as lucky to get a support system as you all do in the U.S, therefore I find this blog amongst others as a breath of fresh air. These kinds of negative ”Vibe” comes even more so from close family and friends. These days, I just look at them squarely in the face and say “If I need some advice on healthy living, I’ll consult a nutritionist, thank you very much”. That’s a very polite way to tell them haters to shut that trap!

  20. omololamarsh@ymail.com

    Dear Cece, I so looooove your blog! You are truly an inspiration. Here in Nigeria, the plus size girl isn’t as lucky to get a support system as you all do in the U.S, therefore I find this blog amongst others as a breath of fresh air. These kinds of negative ”Vibe” comes even more so from close family and friends. These days, I just look at them squarely in the face and say “If I need some advice on healthy living, I’ll consult a nutritionist, thank you very much”. That’s a very polite way to tell them haters to shut that trap!

  21. JenneMyCro

    I used to be 105 or lower (I’m only 5’1) and I don’t remember feeling healthy or having energy at all, plus everyone thought I had an eating disorder! Now I’m like 173 and even though it’s way over what I’m supposed to be I feel healthy and I have energy (and boobs!!! ) Plus I think I’m frigging awesome the way I am. So everyone who tells me I look pregnant or I’m going to get diabetes can suck it IMO!

  22. hunnibunni1285@gmail.com

    I used to be 105 or lower (I’m only 5’1) and I don’t remember feeling healthy or having energy at all, plus everyone thought I had an eating disorder! Now I’m like 173 and even though it’s way over what I’m supposed to be I feel healthy and I have energy (and boobs!!! ) Plus I think I’m frigging awesome the way I am. So everyone who tells me I look pregnant or I’m going to get diabetes can suck it IMO!

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