I couldn’t give Being Mary Jane two hours of my time yesterday, so I just finished watching the second half of the finale tonight. If you don’t watch the show, I’ll give you a quick recap.
Wait– are you judging me for watching it? *blush*
All you need to know is that Mary Jane’s ex boyfriend found out that she stole his semen and froze it in the hopes of getting pregnant via turkey baster. (omg, you really are judging me for watching this show, aren’t you?)
Anyway, Mary Jane accuses her plus size friend, Nichelle (played by Brely Evans) of being the one who told him. As they argue back and forth, Nichelle says something interesting
“What I am to you is a non-threatening, big jolly girl you call when you want to have a good time and make you feel better about yourself!”
We focus so much about how being a Plus Size Princess affects our dating relationships, but what about our platonic female friendships? I’ve written this post about friends who gave me backwards compliments. I’ve written this post about my friends letting their boyfriends sleep at my house alone (cause who would cheat with a big girl??)
During #PSPfit bootcamp we talk about what its like to lose weight and how some skinny friends aren’t as eager to go out with you when you’re not the big girl anymore.
All of these things are easy to discuss after the fact, I think about some girls I was cool with in college; they would come to my dorm with boyfriend problems, call me to see if I wanted to do a late night ice-cream run, but on a Friday night when it was time to turn up at the club and meet guys, I was rarely invited. For those people I was always the maternal figure, the good listening ear… the one they called when they wanted to talk through problems, but not the one they called for a fun girls night out.
Do some people keep us around to make themselves feel better?
When I left college, I still had relationships where I wondered if I wasn’t fully embraced as a friend because of my weight. Those girls were the ones who carefully explained that Robert probably wasn’t attracted to me when I was in the grey area with him.
The good thing is, just like a character on a show can be recast, we can recast the friends in our lives who aren’t good for us. Friendships are so much more nuanced than romantic relationships, but they can be just as frustrating and painful. I think its important for us to talk about how plus size women can demand the best in any relationship we have.