Smelly Men I’ve Dated (Part Two)

September 23 2013 | CeCe Olisa

I unlocked the door to my apartment and before I stepped inside I turned to Wilson and said “shhhhh!” then I beckoned him inside. I could not believe the direction my night had taken.

In high school, Wilson was “that guy” the one that all the girls (and a few boys) had a crush on, he had a phenomenal voice and enough talent to make him a stand-out at our performing arts school. Will took me on my first date when I was 16 and I always had a soft spot in my heart for him.

Fast forward six years and there I was ushering a drunken Wilson into my apartment for the night… and not in a romantic way.

You see, Will had always been a bit of a tortured soul. Despite his issues, he’d formed a band that was on the come-up. His band had a record deal, music video and some good media buzz, so when he’d asked to meet me for a drink I was surprised to learn that he was sleeping in his bands rehearsal space because he didn’t have anywhere to live. This meant that he hadn’t showered in over a week.

Our performing arts high school was like a family, so although I couldn’t let him live with me, I figured I could get him a hot shower and maybe some clean socks.

“Come on, lets get you showered,” I said guiding him through my dark living room.

“Can we shower together?” he whispered into my ear.

“No,” I said sternly. This was probably the least sexy situation I’d ever been in.

My plan was to get him into the shower so that I could set up a sleeping palate for him on the couch, but he was a stubborn drunk and even though he was at my apartment with the sole purpose of bathing, he suddenly refused to shower. He just sat on the couch dozing off. I finally gave up, left him on the couch and went to bed.

A few hours later, my eyes shot open. There was a foul odor overwhelming my senses so much that it woke me up. It took me a few moment to realize that Will was in my bed… naked… spooning me.

I tried to move, but I couldn’t. You know when you’re sleeping on your side a guy spoons you but also rests his knee/leg on your hip? Will was doing that… which meant he was making it hard for me to wiggle away. I tried to speak, but I couldn’t. Will was basically spread eagle in my bed after not showering for days, so I was scared to breathe through my mouth.

I lay in bed for a few minutes trying to figure out a plan. Turns out he had already stunk up the spare sheets on the couch, so sleeping there was not an option. I just tucked the sheets all around him like a cocoon in my bed, then I laid on top of the sheets and made a mental note to do laundry.

The difference between Wilson and the movie theater guy is that I felt more sad than anything else. While I understood what it was like to be a struggling artist, I thanked God that my life as a struggle always included a proper apartment/shower setup. I definitely wasn’t living my ideal life, but cuddling with Wilson put things into perspective.

Waking up with my high school’s dreamboat-turned-rockstar in my bed somehow wasn’t as glamorous as one might think. The next morning I got Will showered, gave him some clean clothes and made him breakfast. He thanked me with a kiss on the lips and I spent the rest of my morning washing sheets, spraying febreeze and lighting candles.

Note: I am still happily dating Robert, this date happened before I met him.

Click Here to read part one

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