Curvy Conversations

Surfing the Confidence Wave (Confidence is… Complicated)

July 22 2013 | CeCe Olisa

“Just get me from the boobs up,” I instructed as I posed for a photo in the sand.

I was spending my day by the water with Meaghan, from LittleLimeDress, Beck, from Manfattan and a few bottles of Teqava (the sparkling tequila cocktail we served at the #NYCurvyCloset Sale). Shooting from the boobs up is my go-to pose for pictures on the beach. It hides my stomach but still lets “The Twins” have their moment.

“CeCe, you should really do some full body shots, you look great” Meaghan said.

I shook my head, “no” while Beck snapped photos of me. It wasn’t going to happen. Am I happy to frolic around the ocean, jump in the waves and flirt with lifeguards in my bathing suit? Sure! But taking a photo and documenting my entire body just feels a little more “daring” than I’ve ever been willing to go. I have no problem doing full body pictures in my street clothes, but doing one in my bathing suit was outside of my comfort zone.

As the day progressed we developed a routine of exhausting ourselves in the waves, then coming back to lay in the sun and sip Teqava. (For anyone curious about Teqava, I really like it. Its like tequila champagne and you don’t have to mix it with anything. We kept it in the ice chest so it would be super cold when we wanted it.)

Sipping on the yummy Teqava in the sun must have been the perfect recipe to release my inhibitions. Because, the next time Meaghan offered to take full body shots of me, I said yes and to my surprise, I liked them… and this morning when I woke up, I still liked them!

I was going to just post the pictures as a simple outfit post, but I think its important to say that these moments don’t come easy for me.

Confidence is something you have to work to get and work even harder to keep. Its like surfing a wave, once you get on and begin to coast, you still have to work to keep your balance and go as far as you can. Even after liking the photos that Meaghan took of me, its taken me all morning to publish them… but I’m going to keep riding my confidence wave and push send on this post.

Thanks Meaghan for being my confidence cheerleader and thanks Teqava for a little liquid courage… cheers to the Confidence Wave!

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22 responses on “Surfing the Confidence Wave (Confidence is… Complicated)

  1. Kayleigh

    Okay, I don’t know which I loved more…what you said or what you wore! You look SUPER, very beachy chic…I look at you and think why wouldn’t you have confidence, you look SO wonderful. I also think you very eloquently described the confidence process…it IS like a wave, nicely put 🙂
    Oh, and now I have to try TeQava, too!

  2. maria

    You are wise, funny, eloquent and really, really hot. Can I say I feel a tiny bit of regret that you are straight? (although I am happy you are happy about that without being prejudiced about anyone else’s orientation). Thanks for sharing these awesome photos – you are, and look, absolutely fantastic.

  3. Juliette Mitchell

    This was a great post and you look so beautiful – your skin is amazing! I’m glad that you discussed that confidence is “fluid” – no one is confident all the time and we all have issues. I have a friend who hates her knees. Her KNEES! Seriously. So taking that leap to confront your fears – because they’re always real and valid to us even when others don’t get it – is big. Thanks Sister (cuz I feel like that, LOL!)

  4. Nadine

    You look great, I just bought a swimsuit with cutouts all down the sides and can’t wait to wear it. your blog has given me so much confidence with my size.

  5. Nitchelle Tate

    Cousin u have helped me to gain more confidence in my self you keep doing u and don’t care what others think. I love you gorgeous!! <3
    Lil cousin from Cali Nitchelletate <3

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