Fitness

The Thanksgiving I *almost* Pooped My Pants

November 22 2012 | CeCe Olisa

I hate talking about bodily functions, but I can’t tell this story without it. *hides face*

A few Novembers back, I was in a “woe is me” weight loss mood and in my desperation, I scooped up a starter pack of Alli, the first FDA approved over the counter weight loss pill. I skimmed over the directions (take with food… low-fat diet… blah blah blah) and jumped right into the bottle with hopes of ending the year a few pounds lighter than I was.

I was doing fine, taking the pills with each meal and working out. Then I went to Pennsylvania for Thanksgiving…

In the middle of cooking Thanksgiving dinner, we were starving so we drove through taco bell for a quick bite while we finished the meal. Normally, I would order a burrito and a mexican pizza but I was on Alli and eating better so I just ordered a bean burrito and took my Alli pill with it. That’s when it all went terribly wrong.

I ate the burrito in the car and 20 minutes later started to feel kind of… gasy *blush*. I thought nothing of it until I went to use the bathroom. For a second I thought I had started my period and stained my underwear, but… it was orange… and greasy. Then I looked in the toilet and oh… em… gee… You know when you’re cooking and you put oil in water and it the oil puddles just float in the water? Well, it looked just like that. Yuck.org!

Although I was with family, there was no way I was going to burst into the kitchen and ask “why am I leaking orange grease?!” so I ducked into my room, changed clothes and I quickly googled stuff on my phone. That’s when realized that I must have had too much fat in my body and the Alli pill was like Um, no girl… it doesn’t work like this and forced the fat out of my body without my permission in the form of icky greasy puddles.

From my google research, I learned that I had gotten off easy… some people had actually pooped their pants after taking Alli and eating too much fat. Interestingly a lot of the women who had pooped their pants taking Alli, were sharing tips like “wear a pad or diapers!” or “wear dark pants!” my solution to greasy gas and the possibility of pants pooping was more simple… stop taking Alli!

I’ve learned more about my body and PCOS, so I know that carbs and sugar are my weight gain triggers, not fat. I also don’t eat a high fat diet, so Alli really isn’t for me. As I continue with the Plus Size Princess Fitness Challenge, I keep reminding myself that there are no quick fixes to weight loss and even if you do find one it might turn out to be pretty, um… crappy!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, LOVELIES!

xoxo

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21 responses on “The Thanksgiving I *almost* Pooped My Pants

  1. Elle

    Ohemgee. So hilarious. I have a question about PCOS. My doctor has recently diagnosed me with it too, but im having a hard time accepting it cause I don’t have the typical symptoms. Bloodwork revealed my testosterone levels were a little raised and I have one hair trouble spot. But my cycles have been regular for about two years now and I have successfully lost a large amount of weight inspite of eating carbs and sugar. I can’t help but wonder if there are different degrees of PCOS? Or if maybe the doc is diagnosing me a little prematurely? I know you’re not a doctor but thought you might have some input.

  2. stellarcanicula@yahoo.com

    Ohemgee. So hilarious. I have a question about PCOS. My doctor has recently diagnosed me with it too, but im having a hard time accepting it cause I don’t have the typical symptoms. Bloodwork revealed my testosterone levels were a little raised and I have one hair trouble spot. But my cycles have been regular for about two years now and I have successfully lost a large amount of weight inspite of eating carbs and sugar. I can’t help but wonder if there are different degrees of PCOS? Or if maybe the doc is diagnosing me a little prematurely? I know you’re not a doctor but thought you might have some input.

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