“I want a chocolate milkshake soooo bad,” I said as I looked over the menu at a Diner on the Lower East Side sometime in March.
“So, have one,” Robert said, barely looking up from his menu.
If I had said something like that to one of my girlfriends, they would have said DON’T DO IT! ITS NOT WORTH THE CALORIES! and I would have ordered a seltzer water. I frowned a little, wanting to complain that he wasn’t being supportive but bit my tongue. I still ordered a seltzer and pushed my milkshake craving to the side.
A week later I casually mentioned that I’d lost 2 more pounds. He raised his hand up for a high-five, “Have you told the other girls in the office how much weight you’ve lost? That’s amazing!” he said. I felt myself beaming.
This past weekend we went out for Thai food. Robert and I were deciding which two appetizers we wanted, but before the waiter came he looked at me and said, “wait– is two appetizers too much for you, diet-wise?” The question surprised me, but I was able to be honest with him (and myself) and say that ordering one appetizer would probably be the best thing. I’m not going to lie, the moment irritated me a little bit, which is ridiculous because it’s EXACTLY how I wanted him to act during the “milkshake moment”.
I know a lot of women with boyfriends who police their weight. These guys make comments when they gain weight and strongly encourage them to lose weight. Robert is not like that, but its still taken a while for me to openly talk to him about my weight loss aspirations. Now that he knows how serious I am about slimming down, I think we’re both realizing that he has to be a part of my support system. We have to find our balance and actually, I think he’s doing a better job of that than I am.
I think guys understand that depriving yourself of things all the time isn’t necessarily the way to go, while women play the whole “I’m going to eat nothing but vegetables for 2 weeks” game and then fail miserably. As I look at the ways Robert supports me, he kind of chooses his battles. So in the grand scheme of things, maybe Robert being “nonchalant” about my milkshake craving wasn’t as unsupportive as I thought.
After a month and a half of Milkshake cravings, I made a calculated decision to give in. I worked out in the morning, ate fruit, salads and lean proteins all day and then in the afternoon Robert and I went to Shake Shack and had chocolate milkshakes. I closed my eyes and took a long sip, “mmmmm”.
“Was it worth the wait?” Robert asked with a smile.
“Definitely… and if I gain a little bit this week, it will be worth the weight too!” I said with a laugh.
“I don’t think you’ll gain… you’re doing really well,” he said.