Dating

Dating on a Diet: Support Systems

April 9 2012 | CeCe Olisa

“I want a chocolate milkshake soooo bad,” I said as I looked over the menu at a Diner on the Lower East Side sometime in March.

“So, have one,” Robert said, barely looking up from his menu.

If I had said something like that to one of my girlfriends, they would have said DON’T DO IT! ITS NOT WORTH THE CALORIES! and I would have ordered a seltzer water. I frowned a little, wanting to complain that he wasn’t being supportive but bit my tongue. I still ordered a seltzer and pushed my milkshake craving to the side.

A week later I casually mentioned that I’d lost 2 more pounds. He raised his hand up for a high-five,Β  “Have you told the other girls in the office how much weight you’ve lost? That’s amazing!” he said. I felt myself beaming.

This past weekend we went out for Thai food. Robert and I were deciding which two appetizers we wanted, but before the waiter came he looked at me and said, “wait– is two appetizers too much for you, diet-wise?” The question surprised me, but I was able to be honest with him (and myself) and say that ordering one appetizer would probably be the best thing. I’m not going to lie, the moment irritated me a little bit, which is ridiculous because it’s EXACTLY how I wanted him to act during the “milkshake moment”.

I know a lot of women with boyfriends who police their weight. These guys make comments when they gain weight and strongly encourage them to lose weight. Robert is not like that, but its still taken a while for me to openly talk to him about my weight loss aspirations. Now that he knows how serious I am about slimming down, I think we’re both realizing that he has to be a part of my support system. We have to find our balance and actually, I think he’s doing a better job of that than I am.

I think guys understand that depriving yourself of things all the time isn’t necessarily the way to go, while women play the whole “I’m going to eat nothing but vegetables for 2 weeks” game and then fail miserably. As I look at the ways Robert supports me, he kind of chooses his battles. So in the grand scheme of things, maybe Robert being “nonchalant” about my milkshake craving wasn’t as unsupportive as I thought.

After a month and a half of Milkshake cravings, I made a calculated decision to give in. I worked out in the morning, ate fruit, salads and lean proteins all day and then in the afternoon Robert and I went to Shake Shack and had chocolate milkshakes. I closed my eyes and took a long sip, “mmmmm”.

“Was it worth the wait?” Robert asked with a smile.

“Definitely… and if I gain a little bit this week, it will be worth the weight too!” I said with a laugh.

“I don’t think you’ll gain… you’re doing really well,” he said.

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62 responses on “Dating on a Diet: Support Systems

  1. Vanessa

    Does Robert have a single brother in the Rochester area? Because if so….there’s a PSP who would be very interested! πŸ™‚

    Congrats CeCe….you’re doing awesome and you’ve built a great support system!

  2. Vanessa

    Does Robert have a single brother in the Rochester area? Because if so….there’s a PSP who would be very interested! πŸ™‚

    Congrats CeCe….you’re doing awesome and you’ve built a great support system!

  3. vanessawhiteny@yahoo.com

    Does Robert have a single brother in the Rochester area? Because if so….there’s a PSP who would be very interested! πŸ™‚
    Congrats CeCe….you’re doing awesome and you’ve built a great support system!

  4. vanessawhiteny@yahoo.com

    Does Robert have a single brother in the Rochester area? Because if so….there’s a PSP who would be very interested! πŸ™‚
    Congrats CeCe….you’re doing awesome and you’ve built a great support system!

  5. pinkrose

    Congrats! I know you don’t follow a group such as weightwatchers so how do you base your meals? Are they proteins or do you include carbs too?

  6. pinkrose

    Congrats! I know you don’t follow a group such as weightwatchers so how do you base your meals? Are they proteins or do you include carbs too?

  7. azizapink@gmail.com

    Congrats! I know you don’t follow a group such as weightwatchers so how do you base your meals? Are they proteins or do you include carbs too?

  8. azizapink@gmail.com

    Congrats! I know you don’t follow a group such as weightwatchers so how do you base your meals? Are they proteins or do you include carbs too?

  9. Anonymous

    I’ll be honest, I’m lucky to have a boyfriend who doesn’t gain weight easily, and who gets cheeseburgers and fries and lets me have that one bite that will satisfy my craving. Or he’ll finish the cookie I only want one bite of…or the cinnamon roll, etc. It works well, and since he’s not watching his weight/working out (and really doesn’t need to) it solves my problem easily.

    That said, when he says (usually jokingly), “Let’s go to McDonalds,” I can say, “Baby, I don’t look like this because I eat at McDonalds” and then we’ll go somewhere with healthier options (hello Jimmy John’s Beach Club on whole grain!!!).

    1. Anonymous

      OMG I do that too… sometimes I feel like I’m using Robert as a trash receptacle though, so I try not to do the “eat 3/4 of my cookie” thing too much.

  10. Guest

    I’ll be honest, I’m lucky to have a boyfriend who doesn’t gain weight easily, and who gets cheeseburgers and fries and lets me have that one bite that will satisfy my craving. Or he’ll finish the cookie I only want one bite of…or the cinnamon roll, etc. It works well, and since he’s not watching his weight/working out (and really doesn’t need to) it solves my problem easily.

    That said, when he says (usually jokingly), “Let’s go to McDonalds,” I can say, “Baby, I don’t look like this because I eat at McDonalds” and then we’ll go somewhere with healthier options (hello Jimmy John’s Beach Club on whole grain!!!).

    1. thebiggirlblog

      OMG I do that too… sometimes I feel like I’m using Robert as a trash receptacle though, so I try not to do the “eat 3/4 of my cookie” thing too much.

  11. anonymized-492416067@disqus.com

    I’ll be honest, I’m lucky to have a boyfriend who doesn’t gain weight easily, and who gets cheeseburgers and fries and lets me have that one bite that will satisfy my craving. Or he’ll finish the cookie I only want one bite of…or the cinnamon roll, etc. It works well, and since he’s not watching his weight/working out (and really doesn’t need to) it solves my problem easily.
    That said, when he says (usually jokingly), “Let’s go to McDonalds,” I can say, “Baby, I don’t look like this because I eat at McDonalds” and then we’ll go somewhere with healthier options (hello Jimmy John’s Beach Club on whole grain!!!).

    1. cece@thebiggirlblog.com

      OMG I do that too… sometimes I feel like I’m using Robert as a trash receptacle though, so I try not to do the “eat 3/4 of my cookie” thing too much.

  12. dianacatrice@gmail.com

    I think it’s great when your significant other can off you support. I’m glad you have found that support in Robert.

  13. dianacatrice@gmail.com

    I think it’s great when your significant other can off you support. I’m glad you have found that support in Robert.

  14. Plus Size "Indian" Princess

    You have been working hard so you deserve to have a treat every once in a while! I think its great Robert is so supportive of you, it really shows how much he cares πŸ™‚

  15. Plus Size "Indian" Princess

    You have been working hard so you deserve to have a treat every once in a while! I think its great Robert is so supportive of you, it really shows how much he cares πŸ™‚

  16. morgannelson1984@yahoo.com

    You have been working hard so you deserve to have a treat every once in a while! I think its great Robert is so supportive of you, it really shows how much he cares πŸ™‚

  17. morgannelson1984@yahoo.com

    You have been working hard so you deserve to have a treat every once in a while! I think its great Robert is so supportive of you, it really shows how much he cares πŸ™‚

  18. mercy apaloo

    It’s nice when your man supports your weight loss efforts. My man loves me the way I am but helps me make the right choices when it comes to food and exercise.
    By the way, you are doing well… really really well. πŸ™‚ Keep it up Cee.

  19. mercy apaloo

    It’s nice when your man supports your weight loss efforts. My man loves me the way I am but helps me make the right choices when it comes to food and exercise.
    By the way, you are doing well… really really well. πŸ™‚ Keep it up Cee.

  20. ameryati@gmail.com

    It’s nice when your man supports your weight loss efforts. My man loves me the way I am but helps me make the right choices when it comes to food and exercise.By the way, you are doing well… really really well. πŸ™‚ Keep it up Cee.

  21. ameryati@gmail.com

    It’s nice when your man supports your weight loss efforts. My man loves me the way I am but helps me make the right choices when it comes to food and exercise.By the way, you are doing well… really really well. πŸ™‚ Keep it up Cee.

  22. DianaCatrice

    I think it’s great when your significant other can off you support. I’m glad you have found that support in Robert.

  23. Anonymous

    So I actually just kind of stumbled upon this blog but I’m glad I did. I enjoy reading all the blogs you post. Your blog inspires me to keep going…and reading about your relationship keeps me hopeful that one day I will find the man that supports me! I’ll stop being all corney now and just say Thanks again for your Blog!
    An Congratulations on the weight loss!!!

  24. cckelly101

    So I actually just kind of stumbled upon this blog but I’m glad I did. I enjoy reading all the blogs you post. Your blog inspires me to keep going…and reading about your relationship keeps me hopeful that one day I will find the man that supports me! I’ll stop being all corney now and just say Thanks again for your Blog!
    An Congratulations on the weight loss!!!

  25. cckelly101@gmail.com

    So I actually just kind of stumbled upon this blog but I’m glad I did. I enjoy reading all the blogs you post. Your blog inspires me to keep going…and reading about your relationship keeps me hopeful that one day I will find the man that supports me! I’ll stop being all corney now and just say Thanks again for your Blog!An Congratulations on the weight loss!!!

  26. Mike duce

    Great read….I myself have ordered this amazing whey protein. Been using for a few months and is considered one of the best! My mom started using it, she loves the results it gave her! Also great for fat burn, just google “Monster Snag” its on sale.

  27. Mike duce

    Great read….I myself have ordered this amazing whey protein. Been using for a few months and is considered one of the best! My mom started using it, she loves the results it gave her! Also great for fat burn, just google “Monster Snag” its on sale.

  28. mfreshy22@gmail.com

    Great read….I myself have ordered this amazing whey protein. Been using for a few months and is considered one of the best! My mom started using it, she loves the results it gave her! Also great for fat burn, just google “Monster Snag” its on sale.

  29. mfreshy22@gmail.com

    Great read….I myself have ordered this amazing whey protein. Been using for a few months and is considered one of the best! My mom started using it, she loves the results it gave her! Also great for fat burn, just google “Monster Snag” its on sale.

  30. ShannahBanana

    Just found your blog a last night & have since been reading your posts like it’s my job. Making my first comment to say, now I want a milkshake. I don’t even like milkshakes.

  31. ShannahBanana

    Just found your blog a last night & have since been reading your posts like it’s my job. Making my first comment to say, now I want a milkshake. I don’t even like milkshakes.

  32. shannah.ledee@gmail.com

    Just found your blog a last night & have since been reading your posts like it’s my job. Making my first comment to say, now I want a milkshake. I don’t even like milkshakes.

  33. shannah.ledee@gmail.com

    Just found your blog a last night & have since been reading your posts like it’s my job. Making my first comment to say, now I want a milkshake. I don’t even like milkshakes.

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