Dating

In Relationships: Does Closure Exist? (Exhibit A)

January 11 2012 | CeCe Olisa

As I pulled myself out of the pool, my heart skipped a beat.

Standing near the stairs, holding out a towel for me was Vin, a guy I dated heavily for a few months. “Towel?” he said extending his arm so that the towel was inches from my body. Although he was talking to me his eyes were planted firmly on my breasts in my bathing suit. I snatched the towel from his hands and quickly covered up. “You always were modest,” he said with a chuckle.

I said nothing. The anger I felt had me stunned silent.

“CeCe, it’s really good to see you, how have you been?”

“Fine.”

“Is it good to see me?” he teased.

“Not really,” I said eyeing the door to the ladies locker room.

“Ouch!” he laughed, clutching his heart.

I don’t want to get into the details of how things ended with Vin, but I will say that within a month of our breakup he was married to someone else and the only one who was surprised by that was me. Once I found out that Vin was married I deleted him from my life no facebook, email or phone numbers were kept. Although I was hurt and had many questions, I didn’t see the point in going down that road with a married man.

“Well, take care…” I said, sidestepping to get around him. Then I stopped myself. In a flash the idea of closure came to mind. I don’t know where it came from, but it seemed logical to take advantage of this moment and get answers to the questions I had about why this guy had hurt me/deceived me/made selfish choices. “Actually, wait– I have a question…”

I took a deep breath, “when we broke up you made me feel like everything was my fault, when the reality was that you were about to get married! Why did you do that?”

I was so proud of myself!  I had nailed Vin to the wall for the way he treated me and I couldn’t wait for him to feel the guilt of what he had done. I waited for him to squirm and apologize, maybe even ask for forgiveness. He looked at me for a while and then said, “CeCe, lets not dwell on the past. Life’s too short.”

And with a patronizing smile, he patted my arm. “It really is good to see you– you look good!” he said, and then he made his way to into the pool to swim laps.

That was it?!

I’ve heard so many people talk about needing closure, seeking out exes and past loves to get closure. Is this what they’re looking for?

Part of me understands the search for closure but a part of me is starting to think it doesn’t exist. People hurt us, and knowing why they did it wont help anything. Knowing that they feel awful wont lessen our pain. Even if Vin had confessed that he made a mistake by treating me the way he did– it really doesn’t matter. He’s married, I’m happily involved with someone else so apologies won’t change anything.

I’m starting to wonder if the search for closure has more to do with pride than anything else… we walk around wondering how could HE hurt ME like that? When the truth may be that people hurt people… and then they move on! Maybe we should move on too.

I’ve got two more “closure” experiences that I’ll write about in the next week or so but I’d love to hear your thoughts as I mull things over… Do YOU believe in closure?

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94 responses on “In Relationships: Does Closure Exist? (Exhibit A)

  1. Missmeandi

    Not really, no. As you said, people hurt people and then they move on. Sometimes, an apology is just an excuse for bad behavior that had no real meaning in the first place. I’d rather not be placated with an empty apology. In the end the why of a break-up isn’t even really important, once you’ve moved on. The way one handles the break-up is the only thing that matters. At least, that’s how I feel about it.
    (Now, my answer is completely different if the break-up DOESN’T REALLY HAPPEN but the couple kinda just stopped talking to one another. LOL Somebody got some ‘splaining’ to do!)

  2. Missmeandi

    Not really, no. As you said, people hurt people and then they move on. Sometimes, an apology is just an excuse for bad behavior that had no real meaning in the first place. I’d rather not be placated with an empty apology. In the end the why of a break-up isn’t even really important, once you’ve moved on. The way one handles the break-up is the only thing that matters. At least, that’s how I feel about it.
    (Now, my answer is completely different if the break-up DOESN’T REALLY HAPPEN but the couple kinda just stopped talking to one another. LOL Somebody got some ‘splaining’ to do!)

  3. Missmeandi

    Not really, no. As you said, people hurt people and then they move on. Sometimes, an apology is just an excuse for bad behavior that had no real meaning in the first place. I’d rather not be placated with an empty apology. In the end the why of a break-up isn’t even really important, once you’ve moved on. The way one handles the break-up is the only thing that matters. At least, that’s how I feel about it.
    (Now, my answer is completely different if the break-up DOESN’T REALLY HAPPEN but the couple kinda just stopped talking to one another. LOL Somebody got some ‘splaining’ to do!)

    1. thebiggirlblog

      Hahaha… I’m going to address your last comment in my next post. I’m *might* be guilty of doing something like that… eek!

  4. missmeandi@gmail.com

    Not really, no. As you said, people hurt people and then they move on. Sometimes, an apology is just an excuse for bad behavior that had no real meaning in the first place. I’d rather not be placated with an empty apology. In the end the why of a break-up isn’t even really important, once you’ve moved on. The way one handles the break-up is the only thing that matters. At least, that’s how I feel about it.(Now, my answer is completely different if the break-up DOESN’T REALLY HAPPEN but the couple kinda just stopped talking to one another. LOL Somebody got some ‘splaining’ to do!)

    1. cece@thebiggirlblog.com

      Hahaha… I’m going to address your last comment in my next post. I’m *might* be guilty of doing something like that… eek!

  5. missmeandi@gmail.com

    Not really, no. As you said, people hurt people and then they move on. Sometimes, an apology is just an excuse for bad behavior that had no real meaning in the first place. I’d rather not be placated with an empty apology. In the end the why of a break-up isn’t even really important, once you’ve moved on. The way one handles the break-up is the only thing that matters. At least, that’s how I feel about it.(Now, my answer is completely different if the break-up DOESN’T REALLY HAPPEN but the couple kinda just stopped talking to one another. LOL Somebody got some ‘splaining’ to do!)

  6. missmeandi@gmail.com

    Not really, no. As you said, people hurt people and then they move on. Sometimes, an apology is just an excuse for bad behavior that had no real meaning in the first place. I’d rather not be placated with an empty apology. In the end the why of a break-up isn’t even really important, once you’ve moved on. The way one handles the break-up is the only thing that matters. At least, that’s how I feel about it.(Now, my answer is completely different if the break-up DOESN’T REALLY HAPPEN but the couple kinda just stopped talking to one another. LOL Somebody got some ‘splaining’ to do!)

  7. Jackie Gillespie

    I’ve had a lot of relationships end where I thought what I wanted was closure. I wanted my pride back. I wanted to ask, “How could you dump ME?!” I got my chance once and I never took advantage of it because I realized that closure wasn’t what I wanted, I wanted to get back together with that person. The apology would have meant nothing, they did what they felt was right. I can’t fault them for that. There is a BIG difference between closure and moving on.

    1. Anonymous

      Yes, Jackie– I feel like pride is at the root of it all. And when you hear the “why’s” they sometimes make you feel worse!

  8. Jackie Gillespie

    I’ve had a lot of relationships end where I thought what I wanted was closure. I wanted my pride back. I wanted to ask, “How could you dump ME?!” I got my chance once and I never took advantage of it because I realized that closure wasn’t what I wanted, I wanted to get back together with that person. The apology would have meant nothing, they did what they felt was right. I can’t fault them for that. There is a BIG difference between closure and moving on.

    1. thebiggirlblog

      Yes, Jackie– I feel like pride is at the root of it all. And when you hear the “why’s” they sometimes make you feel worse!

  9. Anonymous

    I’ve had a lot of relationships end where I thought what I wanted was closure. I wanted my pride back. I wanted to ask, “How could you dump ME?!” I got my chance once and I never took advantage of it because I realized that closure wasn’t what I wanted, I wanted to get back together with that person. The apology would have meant nothing, they did what they felt was right. I can’t fault them for that. There is a BIG difference between closure and moving on.

    1. cece@thebiggirlblog.com

      Yes, Jackie– I feel like pride is at the root of it all. And when you hear the “why’s” they sometimes make you feel worse!

  10. Anonymous

    I’ve had a lot of relationships end where I thought what I wanted was closure. I wanted my pride back. I wanted to ask, “How could you dump ME?!” I got my chance once and I never took advantage of it because I realized that closure wasn’t what I wanted, I wanted to get back together with that person. The apology would have meant nothing, they did what they felt was right. I can’t fault them for that. There is a BIG difference between closure and moving on.

  11. Molivinlarge

    Oh, CeCe…. Closure I’ve decided is something shrinks and therapists tells us is good for us because they know that the chance for someone to find themselves in a position to seek it out is rare, which means we spend more time on the couch so to speak. On the rare occassion that one does find herself in a position to get the closure she feels certain will explain it all, she realizes once the answer is given that she’s been chasing a unicorn all along.
    Closure I’ve realized is something that we give ourselves. It’s in the lessons we learn from those situations we want closure in. It’s the epiphany we have once the experience is over. It’s how we grow as women by dating the guys like Vin, or in my case, marrying the asshole like Aaron, and realizing that we REALLY are too good for them.

    1. Anonymous

      Mo!!! How are you? I havent seen a comment from you in a while, glad you’re still around 🙂

      Chasing a unicorn is exactly how it feels. We all convince ourselves we need something from others that only WE can provide…

      1. Molivinlarge

        CeCe! I’m still around. 🙂 I’ve just been with limited internet access these past 6 weeks and really busy at work which of course limits my internet usage. 😉 You caught me on my lunch hour and being where you’ve been, I know how hurt/surprised/angry one can be in your position with Vin. So of course, I had to post. 😉 Much love!

  12. Molivinlarge

    Oh, CeCe…. Closure I’ve decided is something shrinks and therapists tells us is good for us because they know that the chance for someone to find themselves in a position to seek it out is rare, which means we spend more time on the couch so to speak. On the rare occassion that one does find herself in a position to get the closure she feels certain will explain it all, she realizes once the answer is given that she’s been chasing a unicorn all along.
    Closure I’ve realized is something that we give ourselves. It’s in the lessons we learn from those situations we want closure in. It’s the epiphany we have once the experience is over. It’s how we grow as women by dating the guys like Vin, or in my case, marrying the asshole like Aaron, and realizing that we REALLY are too good for them.

    1. thebiggirlblog

      Mo!!! How are you? I havent seen a comment from you in a while, glad you’re still around 🙂

      Chasing a unicorn is exactly how it feels. We all convince ourselves we need something from others that only WE can provide…

      1. Molivinlarge

        CeCe! I’m still around. 🙂 I’ve just been with limited internet access these past 6 weeks and really busy at work which of course limits my internet usage. 😉 You caught me on my lunch hour and being where you’ve been, I know how hurt/surprised/angry one can be in your position with Vin. So of course, I had to post. 😉 Much love!

  13. molivinlarge@yahoo.com

    Oh, CeCe…. Closure I’ve decided is something shrinks and therapists tells us is good for us because they know that the chance for someone to find themselves in a position to seek it out is rare, which means we spend more time on the couch so to speak. On the rare occassion that one does find herself in a position to get the closure she feels certain will explain it all, she realizes once the answer is given that she’s been chasing a unicorn all along.Closure I’ve realized is something that we give ourselves. It’s in the lessons we learn from those situations we want closure in. It’s the epiphany we have once the experience is over. It’s how we grow as women by dating the guys like Vin, or in my case, marrying the asshole like Aaron, and realizing that we REALLY are too good for them.

    1. cece@thebiggirlblog.com

      Mo!!! How are you? I havent seen a comment from you in a while, glad you’re still around 🙂
      Chasing a unicorn is exactly how it feels. We all convince ourselves we need something from others that only WE can provide…

      1. molivinlarge@yahoo.com

        CeCe! I’m still around. 🙂 I’ve just been with limited internet access these past 6 weeks and really busy at work which of course limits my internet usage. 😉 You caught me on my lunch hour and being where you’ve been, I know how hurt/surprised/angry one can be in your position with Vin. So of course, I had to post. 😉 Much love!

  14. molivinlarge@yahoo.com

    Oh, CeCe…. Closure I’ve decided is something shrinks and therapists tells us is good for us because they know that the chance for someone to find themselves in a position to seek it out is rare, which means we spend more time on the couch so to speak. On the rare occassion that one does find herself in a position to get the closure she feels certain will explain it all, she realizes once the answer is given that she’s been chasing a unicorn all along.Closure I’ve realized is something that we give ourselves. It’s in the lessons we learn from those situations we want closure in. It’s the epiphany we have once the experience is over. It’s how we grow as women by dating the guys like Vin, or in my case, marrying the asshole like Aaron, and realizing that we REALLY are too good for them.

  15. Jfavero

    I dated a guy last year, he hurt me big time, was pretty much the slickest liar I have ever been with. I still feel like if I broke down the “crazy wall” and just flat out told him how badly he treated me, and that he’s not the “good considerate guy” that he portrays himself to be, that I would feel better about it. But I don’t. Because I don’t want to be the crazy girl. So I keep my crazy wall up, vent to my friends, and still get irritated about it all the time for lack of closure.

    1. Anonymous

      Sounds like you have things you need to say which makes sense. I think when people are looking for the OTHER person to say something, that’s when we get in trouble. Why do you hide your “crazy” from someone who is a jerk? xoxo

      1. Jfavero

        And because this makes a whole lotta sense… I really don’t want him to know how much I think about the things I want to say to him. I want him to think I’ve moved on and forgotten allllll about him. Way to have it both ways, right????

  16. Jfavero

    I dated a guy last year, he hurt me big time, was pretty much the slickest liar I have ever been with. I still feel like if I broke down the “crazy wall” and just flat out told him how badly he treated me, and that he’s not the “good considerate guy” that he portrays himself to be, that I would feel better about it. But I don’t. Because I don’t want to be the crazy girl. So I keep my crazy wall up, vent to my friends, and still get irritated about it all the time for lack of closure.

    1. thebiggirlblog

      Sounds like you have things you need to say which makes sense. I think when people are looking for the OTHER person to say something, that’s when we get in trouble. Why do you hide your “crazy” from someone who is a jerk? xoxo

      1. Jfavero

        And because this makes a whole lotta sense… I really don’t want him to know how much I think about the things I want to say to him. I want him to think I’ve moved on and forgotten allllll about him. Way to have it both ways, right????

  17. Anonymous

    I dated a guy last year, he hurt me big time, was pretty much the slickest liar I have ever been with. I still feel like if I broke down the “crazy wall” and just flat out told him how badly he treated me, and that he’s not the “good considerate guy” that he portrays himself to be, that I would feel better about it. But I don’t. Because I don’t want to be the crazy girl. So I keep my crazy wall up, vent to my friends, and still get irritated about it all the time for lack of closure.

    1. cece@thebiggirlblog.com

      Sounds like you have things you need to say which makes sense. I think when people are looking for the OTHER person to say something, that’s when we get in trouble. Why do you hide your “crazy” from someone who is a jerk? xoxo

      1. Anonymous

        And because this makes a whole lotta sense… I really don’t want him to know how much I think about the things I want to say to him. I want him to think I’ve moved on and forgotten allllll about him. Way to have it both ways, right????

  18. Anonymous

    I dated a guy last year, he hurt me big time, was pretty much the slickest liar I have ever been with. I still feel like if I broke down the “crazy wall” and just flat out told him how badly he treated me, and that he’s not the “good considerate guy” that he portrays himself to be, that I would feel better about it. But I don’t. Because I don’t want to be the crazy girl. So I keep my crazy wall up, vent to my friends, and still get irritated about it all the time for lack of closure.

  19. Kristin

    Oh wow, this totally hit home with me. I’ve been struggling with a similar situation for nearly six months. All I’ve been aching for is closure. To be able to ask him why he did the things he did, why he treated me with such disrespect after four years, including two years living together. What I have been trying to make myself believe for a long time now, that “closure” is really all in the mind. While being able to give a voice to your anger and hurt might make you feel a little better, in reality, it may not make a difference. It’s up to you to make peace with your heart.

    1. Anonymous

      Sometimes I wonder if I got off easy with Vin. He said nothing which was irritating, but what if he had given a horrible/hurtful reason for his actions… I’d be worse off than when I started. Making peace is a good goal, for all of us! xoxo

  20. Kristin

    Oh wow, this totally hit home with me. I’ve been struggling with a similar situation for nearly six months. All I’ve been aching for is closure. To be able to ask him why he did the things he did, why he treated me with such disrespect after four years, including two years living together. What I have been trying to make myself believe for a long time now, that “closure” is really all in the mind. While being able to give a voice to your anger and hurt might make you feel a little better, in reality, it may not make a difference. It’s up to you to make peace with your heart.

    1. thebiggirlblog

      Sometimes I wonder if I got off easy with Vin. He said nothing which was irritating, but what if he had given a horrible/hurtful reason for his actions… I’d be worse off than when I started. Making peace is a good goal, for all of us! xoxo

  21. coopsmommy07@aol.com

    Oh wow, this totally hit home with me. I’ve been struggling with a similar situation for nearly six months. All I’ve been aching for is closure. To be able to ask him why he did the things he did, why he treated me with such disrespect after four years, including two years living together. What I have been trying to make myself believe for a long time now, that “closure” is really all in the mind. While being able to give a voice to your anger and hurt might make you feel a little better, in reality, it may not make a difference. It’s up to you to make peace with your heart.

    1. cece@thebiggirlblog.com

      Sometimes I wonder if I got off easy with Vin. He said nothing which was irritating, but what if he had given a horrible/hurtful reason for his actions… I’d be worse off than when I started. Making peace is a good goal, for all of us! xoxo

  22. coopsmommy07@aol.com

    Oh wow, this totally hit home with me. I’ve been struggling with a similar situation for nearly six months. All I’ve been aching for is closure. To be able to ask him why he did the things he did, why he treated me with such disrespect after four years, including two years living together. What I have been trying to make myself believe for a long time now, that “closure” is really all in the mind. While being able to give a voice to your anger and hurt might make you feel a little better, in reality, it may not make a difference. It’s up to you to make peace with your heart.

  23. Theartofbeingblunt.com

    Life only closes at death. I believe in keeping an open mind and heart. I try not to need others validation or explanations determine my peace, though.

  24. Theartofbeingblunt.com

    Life only closes at death. I believe in keeping an open mind and heart. I try not to need others validation or explanations determine my peace, though.

  25. theartofbeingblunt@gmail.com

    Life only closes at death. I believe in keeping an open mind and heart. I try not to need others validation or explanations determine my peace, though.

  26. theartofbeingblunt@gmail.com

    Life only closes at death. I believe in keeping an open mind and heart. I try not to need others validation or explanations determine my peace, though.

  27. Anonymous

    i do believe in closure, but i don’t think it’s something you can expect others to give you. for example, you speaking your mind and asking the question you had been wondering, regardless of the guy’s answer, was your way of getting closure. you spoke your peace and move on with knowing that you at least attempted to understand the situation.

    i’ve tried to have the long, deep talks and got disappointed by the responses i was given. but at the end of the day, i realized that it was irrelevant what the answer was. it’d be nice to have a valid explanation, but what can i do with the information i received? what can i do with knowing i spoke my final peace and received no response? i can move forward and feel good i at least tried.

    and nine times out of 10, that’s enough for me.

    1. ♥Sharon♥

      I really don’t think closure exists. Like you said, even if you find out the reason why, does that make your hurt feel any lighter?? It wouldn’t satisfy me. (jmo). It’s just that they did not take into consideration your interests/feeling. I just say…. move on, especially if you have gotten over the temporary hurt and are in a much better place (mentally and spiritually).

      Life hands us lemons – some are slightly sweeter than others… Even as sour as lemons can be, we must make lemonade (i.e., learn from it, deal with the temporary pain, and move on).

  28. freeyourheart

    i do believe in closure, but i don’t think it’s something you can expect others to give you. for example, you speaking your mind and asking the question you had been wondering, regardless of the guy’s answer, was your way of getting closure. you spoke your peace and move on with knowing that you at least attempted to understand the situation.

    i’ve tried to have the long, deep talks and got disappointed by the responses i was given. but at the end of the day, i realized that it was irrelevant what the answer was. it’d be nice to have a valid explanation, but what can i do with the information i received? what can i do with knowing i spoke my final peace and received no response? i can move forward and feel good i at least tried.

    and nine times out of 10, that’s enough for me.

  29. j.henderson07@gmail.com

    i do believe in closure, but i don’t think it’s something you can expect others to give you. for example, you speaking your mind and asking the question you had been wondering, regardless of the guy’s answer, was your way of getting closure. you spoke your peace and move on with knowing that you at least attempted to understand the situation.
    i’ve tried to have the long, deep talks and got disappointed by the responses i was given. but at the end of the day, i realized that it was irrelevant what the answer was. it’d be nice to have a valid explanation, but what can i do with the information i received? what can i do with knowing i spoke my final peace and received no response? i can move forward and feel good i at least tried.

    and nine times out of 10, that’s enough for me.

  30. your unintended

    last night i slept with an ex bf who cheated on me… but well, now he is cheated on the same girl he was with when we were together. i asked him “why did you hurt me when u insist u love me when we broke up”, ah well, he told me he love the girl half an inch more. i knew that’s bulshit. there is no right or wrong. ppl just fall out of love or the relationship is not right in d beginning. we just need to move on. sometimes we may had hurt other ppl too even without any intentions….

  31. your unintended

    last night i slept with an ex bf who cheated on me… but well, now he is cheated on the same girl he was with when we were together. i asked him “why did you hurt me when u insist u love me when we broke up”, ah well, he told me he love the girl half an inch more. i knew that’s bulshit. there is no right or wrong. ppl just fall out of love or the relationship is not right in d beginning. we just need to move on. sometimes we may had hurt other ppl too even without any intentions….

  32. shirlyoribiana@gmail.com

    last night i slept with an ex bf who cheated on me… but well, now he is cheated on the same girl he was with when we were together. i asked him “why did you hurt me when u insist u love me when we broke up”, ah well, he told me he love the girl half an inch more. i knew that’s bulshit. there is no right or wrong. ppl just fall out of love or the relationship is not right in d beginning. we just need to move on. sometimes we may had hurt other ppl too even without any intentions….

  33. shirlyoribiana@gmail.com

    last night i slept with an ex bf who cheated on me… but well, now he is cheated on the same girl he was with when we were together. i asked him “why did you hurt me when u insist u love me when we broke up”, ah well, he told me he love the girl half an inch more. i knew that’s bulshit. there is no right or wrong. ppl just fall out of love or the relationship is not right in d beginning. we just need to move on. sometimes we may had hurt other ppl too even without any intentions….

  34. ♥Sharon♥

    I really don’t think closure exists. Like you said, even if you find out the reason why, does that make your hurt feel any lighter?? It wouldn’t satisfy me. (jmo). It’s just that they did not take into consideration your interests/feeling. I just say…. move on, especially if you have gotten over the temporary hurt and are in a much better place (mentally and spiritually).

    Life hands us lemons – some are slightly sweeter than others… Even as sour as lemons can be, we must make lemonade (i.e., learn from it, deal with the temporary pain, and move on).

  35. Anonymous

    I really don’t think closure exists. Like you said, even if you find out the reason why, does that make your hurt feel any lighter?? It wouldn’t satisfy me. (jmo). It’s just that they did not take into consideration your interests/feeling. I just say…. move on, especially if you have gotten over the temporary hurt and are in a much better place (mentally and spiritually).
    Life hands us lemons – some are slightly sweeter than others… Even as sour as lemons can be, we must make lemonade (i.e., learn from it, deal with the temporary pain, and move on).

  36. Danielle

    I think closure is just a matter of pride. I got closure from the last guy I dated, and it didn’t settle me any more or less than before. Well now that its further in the past, I think a lot lower of him, so I guess that helps.

    I know what I have to offer and if I date a guy that is too stupid to not see it, then that’s his problem, not mine, that’s what I think about closure. Next.

  37. Danielle

    I think closure is just a matter of pride. I got closure from the last guy I dated, and it didn’t settle me any more or less than before. Well now that its further in the past, I think a lot lower of him, so I guess that helps.

    I know what I have to offer and if I date a guy that is too stupid to not see it, then that’s his problem, not mine, that’s what I think about closure. Next.

  38. shyzahkitty@gmail.com

    I think closure is just a matter of pride. I got closure from the last guy I dated, and it didn’t settle me any more or less than before. Well now that its further in the past, I think a lot lower of him, so I guess that helps.
    I know what I have to offer and if I date a guy that is too stupid to not see it, then that’s his problem, not mine, that’s what I think about closure. Next.

  39. shyzahkitty@gmail.com

    I think closure is just a matter of pride. I got closure from the last guy I dated, and it didn’t settle me any more or less than before. Well now that its further in the past, I think a lot lower of him, so I guess that helps.
    I know what I have to offer and if I date a guy that is too stupid to not see it, then that’s his problem, not mine, that’s what I think about closure. Next.

  40. mysTy

    ‘….the truth may be that people hurt people… and then they move on! Maybe we should move on too.’ Amen to that.

    I don’t see the point in wasting positive energy thinking about someone who has clearly moved on with their life and know longer thinking about you or me.

  41. mysTy

    ‘….the truth may be that people hurt people… and then they move on! Maybe we should move on too.’ Amen to that.

    I don’t see the point in wasting positive energy thinking about someone who has clearly moved on with their life and know longer thinking about you or me.

  42. ms.unique76@gmail.com

    ‘….the truth may be that people hurt people… and then they move on! Maybe we should move on too.’ Amen to that.
    I don’t see the point in wasting positive energy thinking about someone who has clearly moved on with their life and know longer thinking about you or me.

  43. ms.unique76@gmail.com

    ‘….the truth may be that people hurt people… and then they move on! Maybe we should move on too.’ Amen to that.
    I don’t see the point in wasting positive energy thinking about someone who has clearly moved on with their life and know longer thinking about you or me.

  44. Kurvygirlz

    i dated a guy for eleven years and still havent gotten closure. i dont think it exist. Men think different from us. However your better off. I believe that was a frog you had to kiss to get to the prince. Good he is gone. Look out there is another guy better for you.

  45. Kurvygirlz

    i dated a guy for eleven years and still havent gotten closure. i dont think it exist. Men think different from us. However your better off. I believe that was a frog you had to kiss to get to the prince. Good he is gone. Look out there is another guy better for you.

  46. kurvygirlz@yahoo.com

    i dated a guy for eleven years and still havent gotten closure. i dont think it exist. Men think different from us. However your better off. I believe that was a frog you had to kiss to get to the prince. Good he is gone. Look out there is another guy better for you.

  47. kurvygirlz@yahoo.com

    i dated a guy for eleven years and still havent gotten closure. i dont think it exist. Men think different from us. However your better off. I believe that was a frog you had to kiss to get to the prince. Good he is gone. Look out there is another guy better for you.

  48. Lily

    I think it does exists, just takes (a lot of) time. I just hope I find my closure soon.
    My ex-boyfriend and I used to be together for almost three years. When we just broke up I used to be so angry it was all controlling. He was one big lie and I couldn’t get over it. At the moment I ‘m not angry anymore but I’m also not okay with him. It’s almost been a year but I still want answers.

    In the first month of our break-up I called him angrily in a weak moment and specifically told how I felt. But it just made things worse, I didn’t received any answers and instead I just made a fool out of myself. I recently thought about contacting him to talk about it again but I’m afraid I still won’t gain anything from that. And in that case it feels like it’s better to act and look cool instead..

  49. Lily

    I think it does exists, just takes (a lot of) time. I just hope I find my closure soon.
    My ex-boyfriend and I used to be together for almost three years. When we just broke up I used to be so angry it was all controlling. He was one big lie and I couldn’t get over it. At the moment I ‘m not angry anymore but I’m also not okay with him. It’s almost been a year but I still want answers.

    In the first month of our break-up I called him angrily in a weak moment and specifically told how I felt. But it just made things worse, I didn’t received any answers and instead I just made a fool out of myself. I recently thought about contacting him to talk about it again but I’m afraid I still won’t gain anything from that. And in that case it feels like it’s better to act and look cool instead..

  50. nightlily_me@hotmail.com

    I think it does exists, just takes (a lot of) time. I just hope I find my closure soon.My ex-boyfriend and I used to be together for almost three years. When we just broke up I used to be so angry it was all controlling. He was one big lie and I couldn’t get over it. At the moment I ‘m not angry anymore but I’m also not okay with him. It’s almost been a year but I still want answers.

    In the first month of our break-up I called him angrily in a weak moment and specifically told how I felt. But it just made things worse, I didn’t received any answers and instead I just made a fool out of myself. I recently thought about contacting him to talk about it again but I’m afraid I still won’t gain anything from that. And in that case it feels like it’s better to act and look cool instead..

  51. nightlily_me@hotmail.com

    I think it does exists, just takes (a lot of) time. I just hope I find my closure soon.My ex-boyfriend and I used to be together for almost three years. When we just broke up I used to be so angry it was all controlling. He was one big lie and I couldn’t get over it. At the moment I ‘m not angry anymore but I’m also not okay with him. It’s almost been a year but I still want answers.

    In the first month of our break-up I called him angrily in a weak moment and specifically told how I felt. But it just made things worse, I didn’t received any answers and instead I just made a fool out of myself. I recently thought about contacting him to talk about it again but I’m afraid I still won’t gain anything from that. And in that case it feels like it’s better to act and look cool instead..

  52. Cyndy

    I do believe in closure. I think having something hanging out there in the universe, unfinished, is the worst of all. If you can put a cap on something and finally end it, it stops all of those unanswered questions from swirling around in your head. It is never fun to have those sorts of discussions, but they are very important!

  53. Cyndy

    I do believe in closure. I think having something hanging out there in the universe, unfinished, is the worst of all. If you can put a cap on something and finally end it, it stops all of those unanswered questions from swirling around in your head. It is never fun to have those sorts of discussions, but they are very important!

  54. cynthiarichards8747@gmail.com

    I do believe in closure. I think having something hanging out there in the universe, unfinished, is the worst of all. If you can put a cap on something and finally end it, it stops all of those unanswered questions from swirling around in your head. It is never fun to have those sorts of discussions, but they are very important!

  55. cynthiarichards8747@gmail.com

    I do believe in closure. I think having something hanging out there in the universe, unfinished, is the worst of all. If you can put a cap on something and finally end it, it stops all of those unanswered questions from swirling around in your head. It is never fun to have those sorts of discussions, but they are very important!

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