When it comes to talking about my weight, I’m a little weird.
On one hand, I have a blog called “The Big Girl Blog” where I dish all the dirty details of my life as a Plus Size Princess. On the other hand, if you know me in real life you never ever hear me reference my weight. Some PSP’s prefer to comment on their weight before someone else does but that’s not my style. I don’t bring my weight up and neither do my friends.
I’ve slowly been telling some close friends about TBGB. With some friends I’ll just vaguely mention that I write about being plus size in NYC, with others I’ll send them a link and allow them to read it. Last week, an old friend came to visit me here in the city and I told him about TBGB. After I told him that I write about being a Plus Size Princess in NYC, something strange happened.
All of a sudden he was constantly making comments pertaining to my size. Like when he came to see my office and gushed “look at you and your ‘big girl’ job, in a ‘big girl’ office”. At first I thought I was being super sensitive, so I brushed that off because I do work in a grown up/big girl office now (last he saw me, I worked in a book store).
The next day, one of my girlfriends met up with us for dinner. As we planned the rest of our night, my girlfriend suggested that we grab a drink at a bar called “The Sunburnt Cow”.
“Don’t talk about CeCe that way!” my friend said with a giggle. Then he looked at me “did you hear her call you a Sunburnt Cow?”
I didn’t laugh and neither did my girlfriend. I was pretty stunned because I’m just not used to people making fat jokes to/about me. Its odd because he’s known me for years and never said things like that, but he finds out about The Big Girl Blog and suddenly it felt like he only saw me as fat.
I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about him, he also constantly gushed about how cute/pretty/gorgeous/adorable I am, but it was like the minute I acknowledged my weight, he couldn’t shut up about it.
Normally this wouldn’t be something I obsessed over, but lately I’ve been thinking about not being so anonymous anymore. A lot of you have been asking about meeting me in person and I’d love to maybe invite you guys to hear me sing sometimes. But if that means I’m going to become CeCe “The Fat Girl” Olisa… I don’t know how I feel about that.
Don’t get me wrong– I’m proud of who I am and confident with my size, but whether its race, gender, sexuality or size no one wants to be known as one thing only. I hope I’m making sense here.
But again, maybe I’m being too sensitive… Thoughts???