My friend Kayla pushed her glass of wine to the side and leaned across the table.
“I think I’m going to be engaged soon,” she said with a twinkle in her eye.
Kayla and Ben are crazy about each other. He calls her constantly, they’re on a regular sleep over schedule and they’re tip-toeing around the “L” word. They’ve also been dating for about two months.
A week later I was at brunch when another friend announced that she’d just booked a trip to the Bahamas with a guy that she’d been dating for one month.
A trip to the Bahamas sounds like a blast, so I was excited for my friend and listening to Kayla gush about Ben made me so happy for her. She’s been through a lot with men, so its beautiful to see her treated the way she deserves. Ben is a good guy, and he seems to know what he wants, which in New York is quite refreshing.
Over the past few days my happiness for my friends began to mix with an uneasiness as I began to think about my relationship with Robert. When Robert and I started seeing each other, we agreed to take things slow. Its what I wanted then and its what I want now. But a tiny part of me can’t help but compare my relationship to my friends relationships.
Robert and I spend a lot of time together, but listening to Kayla made me feel like we should be spending more time. I’m no where near ready to get married, I don’t want Robert to propose, I would love to be in the Bahamas right now instead of rainy New York City and going with Robert would be awesome. But if I’m honest with myself the idea of sharing a hotel with him is terrifying. I’m not ready!
I’m struggling… I think I’m a little jealous… that fast passion looks so appealing!