This weekend I had an epiphany: I am no different now than I was before I started dating Robert.
Being with Robert is so much fun, I find that even strangers enjoy us as a couple and its an incredible feeling. It’s also a feeling I’ve been waiting for since I was a little Plus Size Princess trying to find her way with boys.
For as long as I can remember I’ve been obsessing over having a boyfriend. I have old diaries filled with pages of me longing for a boyfriend. I’ve imagined how every birthday, holiday and special occasion would have been sooo much better if I had someone to share it with. I’ve also been super hard on myself, making a list of a million things that I needed to do or change so that I could get a boyfriend.
I can honestly say that between then and now I’m not prettier, smarter, cooler, or funnier (and I’m definitely not skinner) but I have him.
The truth is, I’m as much of a mess as I always was. I still struggle with things and work hard for things. I still have triumphs, successes and/or failures and the list of things I need to do or change gets longer every day! When it comes to my life, I’m still trying to figure it all out. I have a long way to go and having a boyfriend won’t change any of that.
I used to think a boyfriend would validate me, but Robert doesn’t make me prettier, smarter, cooler or funnier.
Sometimes we have to wait for someone who “gets us”, but that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with who we are. A diamond is beautiful and precious long before someone discovers it. Which means there’s a good chance I’ve been this pretty, smart, cool and funny all along.
Happy Valentines Day!