NYC Big Girl/BBW Clubs… More Than Meets The Eye?

October 27 2010 | CeCe Olisa

It was 9:15 on a Saturday night and I was sitting on my couch with a glass of wine. I’d had a long week and the idea of hitting the town with one of my girlfriends seemed like a good one, the only problem was that my girlfriend had just cancelled on me 30 minutes before we were supposed to head out.

I was already dressed and the thought of wasting a good outfit (and flawless makeup) seemed ridiculous. I scanned through my phone thinking of who to text and I saw the date. It was the last Saturday of the month, which meant there was a “BBW party” happening.

I’d pretty much written off the whole plus size party scene, but I knew that attending this party meant I could go out alone and not feel weird and maybe I’d dance with a cute boy (or three) and then go home.

I threw on my jacket, hopped on the 2 train and was downtown in 45 minutes. As I made my way into the club, Jay-Z was blasting and people were scattered across the club. Some were dancing, some were leaning against the bar and some were engrossed in conversation.

I wasn’t used to going out alone, but I planned to make the best of it. I ordered a drink and took a seat on one of the couches. A few minutes later, a plump girl in a pink ruched dress waved at me from across the room (the dress was cute, but she could have used some Shapewear underwear from Simply yours). Why are you sitting by yourself? she mouthed to me. I shrugged and she waved me over, “Hi, I’m Lisa” she said shaking my hand.

“Hey, I’m CeCe”

“You are too cute to be sitting by yourself, come chill with me!”

I laughed, “do you come here a lot?”

“I try to, my husband and I like to go out when we can, he’s in the bathroom but you’ll meet him when he comes out.”

“Cool,” I said nodding to the music. A few minutes later, Lisa’s husband appeared. She introduced us and as the night went on we casually chatted while we grooved to the music. Lisa, who was sitting between her husband and me, excused herself to the bathroom. As I sat sipping my drink, I could feel her husbands eyes on me. I looked over and he patted the seat that his wife had left open. Although I felt uneasy, I didn’t want to be rude, so I scooted into her seat. Lisa’s husband began to ask me questions, and trying to make conversation but I felt uncomfortable, so I kept my answers short. I kept telling myself that they were just being friendly, but something just didn’t feel right.

The uneasiness that I felt came from somewhere and I couldn’t shake it. Then it hit me; when I first attended a “Big Girl event” someone mentioned that a lot of plus size couples are swingers. I never believed it, until I started noticing the abundance of men in the clubs with wedding bands and the amount of people who attended the clubs not as singles looking for potentials, but as couples.

I started to wonder if Lisa and her husband were… flirting with me.

Eventually Lisa returned from the bathroom got up to dance with her husband. I watched them from my seat and a soon enough, a single guy approached me and pulled me up to dance.

After a few songs, I broke away from my dance partner to get another drink. “Girl, you’re doing your thing out there!” Lisa said, touching my arm. I continued to dance by myself for a little while and then something weird happened. Lisa’s husband turned his back to her and motioned for me to come and dance with him. My eyes immediately fell on Lisa who was dancing alone, but smiling at me and motioning for me to “go ahead”.

I know that everyone has different opinions and boundaries but I dont make it a habit of dancing with other people’s husbands. I definitely don’t make a habit of dancing with someones husband while they watch/join in. The awkwardness of the situation proved to be too much for me. I made my way into another room and spent the rest of the night solo.

I’m not 100% sure that Lisa and her husband were swingers, but I didn’t want to stick around and find out!

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19 responses on “NYC Big Girl/BBW Clubs… More Than Meets The Eye?

  1. Melissa

    O.M.G. – Funny stuff, but real. It happened to a friend of mine when she moved into her new apt complex. You were smart to remove yourself, if that wasn’t your cup-o-tea.

  2. Dawn Moore

    Omg they totally were! Your intuitions were dead on. When she motioned to you from across the room was when I figured that she was sexually interested in you :S

  3. Nicole

    what is going on with this swinger thing? It seems to be insanely popular these days and it freaks me out. Is it becoming more rare to just want to be in a committed relationship sans the extra kinky shit? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not boring but I keep reading things about open relationships, group sex, spouse swapping….I’m starting to worry. lol.
    I think you did the right thing. If you feel uncomfortable it’s good to just get out of there.

  4. freeyourheart

    first, i have to applaud you for going out solo. i’m working my way up to it, but i’m not there yet.

    but secondly, can we say AWKWARD?! i’m proud of you for trusting your instincts and getting out of there.

  5. unfrgtbl

    I agree – good for you going out on your own. Clearly this couple has good taste… It sounds like they were polite too. Just not what you were into. I’ve been approached by couples in the past and have just been so incredulous. I mean, seriously?? While it’s flattering, it’s not my thing either. In the end, it makes for an interesting story.

  6. Rhaps0_DY

    Wow Cece! These were totally swingers! Next time you go to one of those, I’ll come! I’ve never been. I feel like only men with BBW fetishes go there and that scares me! LOL Great story!

  7. princessvalecia

    First congrats on going out alone. It takes guts sometimes. I think with age I have gotten far better at it. And that couple?? Yeah they probably were trying to pick you up….ewwww…how creepy *shrugs* to each his/her own I guess. *shudders* LOL

  8. trena

    That is so weird. I would’ve left too, so you did the right thing. If you woud have stayed, that situation would have gotten so much worse! Your awesome for getting the guts to go out alone, I’m still trying to find that courage.

  9. G/W

    And also, I agree with princessvalecia about going out by yourself. I wish I had your balls. If I tried to go anywhere by myself I’d probably melt into a puddle of goop in a corner somewhere. Good for you!

  10. martinique

    Hey Cece, Good for you for going out solo. The only thing I’ve done so far was go to the movies by myself. Lol @ the couple trying to talk to you very interesting to read. My question is how do you find out about these BBW parties and clubs? Is there a website? I would love to go to a few.

  11. Vanessa

    Oh god lord….I actually think I know who you’re talking about! I met a Lisa and her husband at BBW Goddesses at Blaggard’s on 38th a few months ago and I definitely think they were trying to set something up with me and my boyfriend! It’s a small world after all….

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