Dating

First Date: Mike Lowery

July 5 2010 | CeCe Olisa

One of the things I appreciate about Mike is that he takes charge. I get annoyed easily with guys who always say “I dunno, what do you want to do?” when we’re making plans. Getting a phone call from Mike letting me know what he had planned for us and where I could meet him was refreshing.

I agreed to meet him at Madame X, a lounge in the West Village that I had never been to before. When I got off the train, I had a very apologetic email from him saying that he was running late due to train issues, which was understandable because he was coming from Long Island. I continued on to our date spot and when I arrived, I was slightly taken aback. The first thing I saw was a large mural on the wall featuring a naked woman with large breasts and lots of um… hair. The drinks on the menu had names like “cherry pop” and “indecent proposal”. What kind of place is he taking me to? I thought to myself. I’m pretty conservative, so an overtly sexual place for a first date threw me off… maybe his selection speaks to the blog personality some of you have been leery of.

I found a couch near the front and waited for Mike to arrive. He sent me a text saying that he was in a cab and a few minutes later I saw a man in a suit rush into the bar. I knew immediately that it was Mike. He looked around the bar and I waved to get his attention. He made his way over, gave me a big hug and apologized again for being late.

I think online dates and blind dates can do a number on your insecurities. I’d kept my outfit simple: Jeans, a flowing racer back top (yes, I showed my arms on a first date!) a big chunky necklace and beaded sandals. Leaving my apartment I felt cute, but in those first few moments sitting in front of Mike for the first time… I felt aware of everything; Am I too big? Should I have worn my hair down? Am I too tall? Why didn’t I cover my arms?! But Mike quickly put me at ease. Within the first hour he’d complimented me on how I looked, and made random commentary about things like the color of my toenail polish (they were bright pink, pretty hard to miss). He kept asking me if I was going to run away, which made me realize that he too was in a bit of a self-conscious space.

Even if Mike took me to a sexually charged venue, his actions were very respectful. I actually felt comfortable with him and got to learn a lot about him. Because he reads my blog, I knew I would have to be 100% honest with him about everything from the beginning. When he asked if Robert was still around, I told him yes. Which was awkward, but he handled it well. “I’d love to meet him,” he said sarcastically.

I also decided to be upfront with him about anything I might write about him so that nothing he might read would come as a surprise. “Why would you bring me to a place with naked women painted everywhere?” I asked. He laughed and reminded me that he had warned me about the “art work” when he first suggested the venue. “I think in my head, I thought it was going to be more… tasteful” I said. We laughed, finished our drinks and then we decided to grab dinner. Mike was sweet, affectionate (held my hand, played with my hair etc.) and very complimentary of me. For a first date, I had no complaints.

Now here comes the hard part: I judge a guys interest on how much he keeps in touch after the first date. In the same way that I appreciated Mike’s take charge attitude when it came to planning our date, I’m looking to see how he takes charge with how we move forward.

When I got home, I had a message from Mike saying that he had a great time with me and that he wanted to see me again before he the weekend was over. Unfortunately, although we tried, that didn’t happen which is fine… I know that he was here to see family and that should be his priority. But, I guess I’m holding my breath to see if keeping in touch with me becomes a priority.

Time will tell….

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26 responses on “First Date: Mike Lowery

  1. Melissa W

    I'm so proud of you for showing your arms on the first date! I smiled like I know you forreal!

    But dude sounds cool. I like the take charge thing. Keep moving forward, see where this leads.

  2. Megyn

    YAY for the arm exposure, that's so win. It's kinda laying it out there and saying "If you don't like it, bye!" I love that you went that route even if that wasn't quite your intent.

    I'm even more excited to hear it went well. And I hope you meet up again, because not only does he sound like a genuinely decent guy, he sounds mysterious and I'd like to hear more about him!

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