Dating

When a Man Gives You His Business Card: I Rest My Case

June 9 2010 | CeCe Olisa

One of my readers is a guy named Mike Lowrey (side note: Mike, if you’re reading this, you should email me… I think you’re fascinating). Mike leaves comments that keep me thinking. He “keeps it real”, isn’t afraid to tell me what I need to hear and he gives a great peak into the males perspective PSP’s/women in general. Mike commented on Business Card: Exhibit C the other day, and here’s what he said:

When we hand a woman a business card alone it is like saying, “you’re cute but I’m not interested enough in you to get your number or to actually give you my cell number.” If you call cool, and if I’m bored one day we can chill. If you don’t call, who cares. If a guy is into you he’s going to get your number, give you his and give you his business card just in case. This also allows the guy to show the woman he has a career and not just a 9-5 job. Every so often I will give out my card just to save time. It lets her know that I’m interested. From there if she’s interested too, she’ll call. But mostly we don’t care if the business card chick ever calls.

After the Famous Photographer let things fizzle, I waited to see if Apple Store Guy would prove me wrong. After taking his business card, I went home and emailed him. I sent a short email saying that it was nice to see him again, “I have a bad habit of losing business cards, so I wanted to reach out while your card is still accessible…” I wrote. I got an email back from him the next day saying that it was good to run into me too “Since you’re bad at keeping business cards, here’s my phone number…” he replied.

At that moment I knew it was over. Apple Store Guy kept pushing the ball into my court, which I’m not into, but for the sake of my business card experiment– I pressed on. I quickly replied “thanks, here’s my number…” and pushed Apple Store Guy into the back of my mind.

Two days later, he called.

Well, actually he sent me a text. I told him that I wasn’t much of a texter. Then he called.

Anyway, we chatted for a bit. The conversation was mediocre at best. Apple Store Guy asked me THREE of my Five Most Annoying Dating Questions and when we ended the call he asked if I wanted to see a movie sometime.

That was weeks ago, and I haven’t heard from him since.

Basically, I feel that my instincts were right. A business card shows lukewarm interest or no interest at all. Either way, I don’t think I’ll be following up the next time a man slips a business card into my hand.

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51 responses on “When a Man Gives You His Business Card: I Rest My Case

  1. Joe Jay

    Hi Cece

    Ilove your blog as I love PSP woman always have. It works to ways. Last friday on the train in dowtown manhatten a sexy psp was on the train and I got on saw her and parked myself close enough to check her out. Well I am a shy guy and she wasn;t smiling or giving me any look of intrest. So I didnot say anything I kept turning and looking but nothing well she has to get by me to get off and I saw to her you look stunning and she says so do you. I tell her that she should have told me sooner. I hesitated and did not get off know i feel bad I didn't .Woman have to give us hints especially to shy guys. So I am hoping this psp she is a spansih woman. Maybe reads this she must work on wall street as so do I . In case she may read this blog I am looking for her I get off usally at 6:00-6:30 maybe I will seee her again.
    Joe

  2. One Lusty Sagittarian

    Still I feel nothing lost for having ventured. And I still think a great way to "own the power" is to take their card, write your number on it, and hand it back to him. Bam. You're done. Or slightly less ballsy is to hand your number/card back to him. Fini.

  3. LOST PLUM

    I'm with One Lusty Sagittarian…writing your number on their card and giving it back is Hot and pretty much always work….unless they have a card worth keeping as a network contact then you need that to spam later!

  4. Missouri Girl

    Little trick… I keep two sets of business cards in my wallet. One just plain old cards with all the pertinent information. In another part I keep about ten cards with my number written on the back. When a guy hands me his card, I simply say "Here, take mine instead." Ballsy and puts the ball back in their court.

  5. janelle

    i kinda love mike for that comment.
    good post.
    i never even thought of the cons of getting a business card from a dude,
    just thought it was efficient.

    maybe you should mike guest blog for more of his insights. 🙂

  6. Donda

    I love your blog!!! Also, maybe it is just me and because I am a TV/movie nut…your friend Mike Lowery just popped into my mind looking like Will Smith in "Bad Boys". Everybody wants to be like Mike 🙂

  7. Kemi

    I'm not surprised, and I know you weren't too surprised at the outcome either, but at least you tried on different occasions and now you know personally to take these business card givers with a grain of salt and keep it moving.. I was holding out hope that one of the scenarios would pan out, for ya..

  8. J.C. Kastl

    Hey There PSP, like shy guy said,sometimes a guy is shy and needs some affirmation that his interest in you is reciprocal.( meaning,you like him too.) Don't over think what he says or does . A lot of times ,if you play to hard to get,you won't get gotten !!! Take a chance on love ,give him a call and ask him out. This is 2010 after all ….

  9. MissAlone

    So happy I found your blog!

    My six year relationship that just ended, got started after a man gave me his business card. Your post really made me think.

    I just started a blog to dissect that relationship and see where life takes me after it.

  10. Mike Lowrey

    @ Dondra – I did indeed get the name from the movie Bad Boys.
    A few of my friends gave me the nickname right after the movie came out. I must admit that I don't think I look like Will Smith, lol.

    @ CeCe – I do try to tell it like it is. I feel it is the only way men and women can have a real dialog. The truth may sting but in the end I hope it helps. Sorry Apple dude was a lame duck, his loss.

    @ Janelle – Thanks, that would be up to CeCe but for the record I'd love the chance to co-write some posts with her or to guest blog from time to time.

  11. Q

    This is an interesting topic… I've never thought about the potential implications of the business card swap. I recently met (and shamelessly flirted with)a guy at a conference and he handed me his card. I immediately emailed him my cell number from my iphone and we've been talking every day since. I think the business card thing is a easy out for the shy guys. It's not putting themselves out there TOO much (especially at a business conference). Sometimes all those shy guys need is a not so shy woman to push them in the right direction. 😉

    -Q
    http://qwithouttheu.wordpress.com

  12. Niki

    This is very enlightening. Recently I’ve had the business card treatment for the first time and I was so confused. I have contacted the guy via email and shall I say the response is lukewarm, so what you said is correct.
    But I just dont get why he even bothered to give me the card, No love would have been lost!

  13. D.L.

    I could not have been more happy to have found this post!
    I was out at a bar last night, and at closing had a guy give me his business card. But the entire exchange lasted 30 seconds to a minute tops, so the whole “if you call cool, and if I’m bored one day we can chill. If you don’t call, who cares” deal is both valid and non-offensive. If I had given HIM my number I’d feel the same way. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to see if I can’t play this one out though. I just didn’t know what to do with a darn business card. Thanks for the brilliant tips!

  14. Ambrose Akenji

    Well, perfect timing. I was recently at a movie with my GF. The guy at the bar asked me a question about her when she went to BR. And when she returned, he continued to ask her questions but of a business nature. He didn’t seem serious so I thought she would just play it off. But she engaged and proceeded to hand him her business card in front of me. Am I wrong to think she was being disrespectful or naive ? Because I can assure you, in my Younger days, I used that trick to get women’s numbers all the time especially if they had company.

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