Dating

Men Every Big Girl Will Meet: The Old Man

June 7 2010 | CeCe Olisa

Yesterday, as I rode the bus up Amsterdam avenue a blonde haired, blue eyed man with a gentle Hungarian accent struck up a conversation with me. His eyes sparkled as we chatted and he looked at me in the way that guys do when they’re attracted to you. I have a bad habit of flirting back when people flirt with me, so it wasn’t until he slooowly got up to get off of the bus that I snapped back to reality: this Hungarian charmer was easily 60 years old.

Now, this was a harmless encounter with an old man that had a Sean Connery type style and I would have loved to have met him 30-35 years ago when he was in his prime. Sadly, a fun, flirty run in with a Hungarian Grandpa is a rarity for me because I usually attract a different kind of AARP member.

Fact: Old men like big girls.

Fact: Dirty old men love big girls.

You know the men I’m talking about… the old men with receding hairlines and a stomach so big it looks like they’re about to give birth. The ones who haven’t had a job since 1979 and spend their afternoons “hanging out” on the corner. These are the men who love to approach a plus size princess on her way home from work and say things like mmmm… you look so sexy in those heels, do you need someone to give you a foot massage tonight, baby? Or who call out to their friends I’ll see ya’ll later, here comes my wife! while they follow you to the subway station on a Friday night asking if they can come to the party.

When I would attend the BBW parties in the city, there were always a few Seniors in attendance. Watching them dance was often awkward because they dance from a completely different generation. There’s a lot of hand holding, spinning and two-stepping when you dance with an older man, and it ends up feeling like you’re at a wedding dancing with your Uncle Joe.

Every old man was once a young man. But something tells me these grandpa’s weren’t hollering at thick chicks back in the day. What makes these men only appreciate PSP’s in their old age? I feel like there’s more to the old man/big girl connection, but I really can’t put my finger it. Here’s my speculation, and you all are more than welcome to chime in with your thoughts:

I’ve heard a lot of older women talk about how in their old age that start to live their lives and not care what other people think. (i.e. the red hat society). We all know the cliche of the guy who likes big girls but is too embarrassed to actually be with one. This is a long shot, but maybe… just maybe, in their old age, these men start to realize that life is too short to deny yourself of what you like.

Maybe in their old age they are confident enough to go after what they want.

Of course, if men realized they could be attracted to Plus Size Princesses before they were candidates for Viagra, Fixadent and Depends, it would make PSP’s feel much better about ourselves….

Thoughts???

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38 responses on “Men Every Big Girl Will Meet: The Old Man

  1. Stinkerbelle

    hahaha! I loved this post 🙂
    I usually have noticed that apart from the big old men the type around to be attracted to PSP's are the big drunks… they, apparently, can't get any decent women ( in their opinion ) and for me it seems they tend to think that us big girls are so desperate and hungry for any man that their praising words are more than enough for making us fall for them. And when any self-respeting woman says no, they scream insults after you "you're so fat no one wants you". Pathetic I say! Thankfully there are also men who see the beauty in anyone despite their size! I'm lucky to be married to one of them 🙂

  2. Therese

    That's a wonderfully positive analysis, but I'd like to offer up an alternative (cuz I've been there)

    These guys figure a big girl is so desperate for attention, that we'll jump at the chance to hook up with a guy, even someone several decades older than us.

    They're so off the mark, but sadly, this is what our popular culture teaches.

  3. Melissa W

    this post was good. I kinda think that old men are attracted to plus girls because there was a diff standard of beauty back in their generation. My grandmother and all my aunts were thick, and they had NO problems getting men and getting married (some 2+ times).

    I think now days, the media continues to brainwash men into thinking that one standard of beauty is acceptable.

  4. -AV-

    My theory is similar to Trixie's with a twist. Earlier in the week I was reading up on King Henry the 8th. I got into the Tudors when it first started and was curious about some things. Reading your blog brought me back to why (or the speculation on why) King Henry married his 6th wife. He was getting older, his health was failing, and he wanted to marry a woman who would take care of him with as little fuss as possible. (Again speculation.) It could be they believe us PSP's are desperate enough to lay down with them, and they'd have a personal care taker. Someone who wouldn't give them many problems with as little confidence as they believe PSP's have.

  5. Sue

    Good Post – sets one to a-wondering…
    I'm in my 50's – older men are the only ones that flirt w/me. My age is still stuck on skinny.

    There is new thought that plus-sized happens because of infection – the body protects the main organs from bacteria, virus and fungus and the bugs love fat. Dunno about that, in my case could be true (Lyme Disease -Chronic Late Stage) which is when I added 40 lbs in as many days.
    If this is true, our bodies are truly miraculous things!

  6. Anonymous

    you totally went there.

    it makes me a downer, but i just assumed old men liked me because they figured since i was fat i'd be more likely to give them a chance than a skinny minnie.

    i like your take on it much better, though.

  7. Anonymous

    I think it's because they think we don't have any options….they know that guys our own age want the skinny girl the media puts forward and they imagine that of course we *have* to be desperate. Cynical, but I think I'm on the money. Would love to believe it's about coming these guys being prepared to be honest about what they really want, though – a much nicer, though!

  8. Kemi

    I think it because they try and hit anything walking. I've had a few encounters with these older guys and It seems that they try and get at a wide variety of girls–fat, skinny, etc…

  9. Je m'appelle Danielle

    Hmm, I think its part of the generational thing, that bigger women were more desirable back in the day, but I like to believe that its substance. Although, I also like to believe in such delusions like believing that people have good intentions…

    So maybe after all the skinny minnie's they bedded that turned into failed relationship's, maybe a bigger girl has something more to offer. (however, I get approached by guys in their late 40's, not cobwebs)

    Or that she knows how to cook, which the old saying goes "The way to a mans heart is through his stomach".

  10. Johana Hill

    I found you on someone's twitter friend list! Love this post! I've never received a business card in my entire life! Guess I'm out of luck. ;p

    Anyway, I'm married now so if ever I do get one, it'll end up in the trash! LOL

  11. Anonymous

    Omg! I had to comment! I just vented about this situation on twitter a couple of days ago!!! I felt sooo violated and like I've been molested smh! It was so disgusting!But hey wat are ya gonna do :)…it happens to the best of us! Follow me on twitter, as I am u 🙂 @Cutie4aThickie

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  13. Sarah (The Informer)

    I believe it has something to do with B.G.S. (Aka, Big Girl Syndrome). It happens when a plus size woman/teen/etc. has a bout of low self esteem and is willing to severely lower there standards to be with any guy who wants her. In our culture big woman are supposed to have low self esteem, but let’s be serious! There’s more big girls than there are skinny chicks. Not that I have a problem with them, a lot of them just have a problem with me size 16 and LOVIN’ IT. Older men do seem to go after that type, but ya know another stereotype is the gangster black guy or the mexican men. I have nothing against being with either, but gangsta’ is NOT my thing. My friends sometimes go through BGS and I have to pull them out of it. I mean I’m a big girl, I got over it, and so should they! In my opinion my size just weeds out the losers and the superficial men and leaves me with the real sweethearts. I have ZERO problems with my love life, and neither should any confident big girl!

  14. Glam_Rach

    Realise I am commenting on this a bit late – but just saw the link to this on Twitter and another great article I love and agree with 100%!!

    I have to agree with CeCe’s theory on this – it’s certianly my view.

    To explain I have been approached by a lot of older men in my time, usually when out with a group of friends and usually it has been very flattering. I have had some killer compliments – I have even had men walk in off the street when they have walked past the window I have been sitting at with my friends. This happened twice in Australia in fact – maybe we should all move there loL!! Anyway – the point being not once have I got the impression a man was trying to pick me up, most often they have paid me the compliment and walked away. No expectation, no waiting for a response – just a lovely ‘Wow your gorgeous and you light up the room, I just had to tell you and have a great night’ and thats been it. Sure men do sometimes try and pick me up – but I have found that not so much the case with men clearly old enoguh to be my Dad. I just think they have impecable taste lol!!

    So therefore I have formed the view that yes once a guy gets over 50 they don’t care so much for what society things they should find beautiful and they go for what they really like. Surely we should just be flattered by this? Personaly I find PSP more attractive than smaller women so it shouldn’t be too far removed to think that some men do to.

    Ofcourse there will be men that stupidly think us PSP are desperate and will take anything, however they probably think the same of single mums, newly divorced women, extra tall women, extra small women etc etc – there is always going to be men that are plain dumb.

    However I like to think the PSP fans are just very savvy!! 🙂

    Sarah The informer – very good point.

    p.s – An Afterthought – am I the only one who has ever had the conversation with a collegue, younger guy, man in a club where you get the impression that they really find you attractive but they are fighting it but they shouldn’t. I once had a make collegue tell me (after a few beers ofcourse!) that I was really hot but he didn’t think I realised it because of my size. I replied my telling him that I didn’t have an issue with my size and was hot – he seemed to be the one struggling with that theory!

  15. Elle

    Wow… It’s like you read my mind. I’ve been meaning to a post about this very thing. I’m relieved to know I’m the only plus-sized girl who has been puzzled by this strange phenomenon. I’ve been approached at book stores, restaurants, when I’m out shopping, and even at work by older (much, much older) men, and I’ve never been able to figure out why. I don’t know what’s more frustrating – the fact that men my own age don’t seem attracted to me or the fact that Grandpas ARE. Very weird.

    Anyway, great insights! Love that you talked about this 🙂

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