Dating

What Do Men Think of Big Women?

March 22 2010 | CeCe Olisa
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Yesterday I decided to get my hair blown out and straightened (not the smartest decision considering its raining today, but whatever.) The woman who does my hair moved to a unisex hair salon in Harlem, so I made my way over to see her.

It was a Sunday and the place was more or less empty. I was on one end of the salon getting my hair done and on the other end a barber stood by watching another barber cut his clients hair. I didn’t pay much attention to them until I needed to go to the ladies room.

I had to walk between the three men in order to get the the bathroom. As I approached them, I became slightly self conscious because the back of my hair was bone straight, while the front was a curly mess on the top of my head. “Excuse me,” I said as I slipped between the two barbers. “No problem, darling…” one of them said giving me a grin.

When I emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later and had to slip past them again. The men went completely silent and I could feel three sets of eyes on me. Even the guy getting his hair cut, who had his back to me, found a way to check me out in the mirrors reflection. Then one of the men said something that I couldn’t hear and the other two grunted in agreement, “…see you’re my kinda dude,” one of the barbers said. “I was thinking the same damn thing!”

Making my way back to my chair, I wanted so badly to know what was said, since it obviously pertained to me. Were they talking about my unruly hair? Or perhaps something else… Although I couldn’t see who was saying what, I kept my ears peeled as they continued to talk on the other side of the room. As the conversation swelled I heard things like:

“Mmm a big woman, that’s me right there. I really don’t like them skinny. Not super fat either. But Big? That’s sexy”

“I dated a big girl once… she was big but real pretty” I bet her $100 she couldn’t lose 20 pounds in a month. She said she could, but then sheΒ 

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125 responses on “What Do Men Think of Big Women?

  1. Temika

    Wow…I'd just like to say that that was VERY educational. I always wonder what guys are thinking when I'm walking in between them or what have u…and the fact that you actually heard all of that…I don't know what I would of done!

    I really REALLY enjoy reading your blogs! I love to share your stories with my other friends because I know we're all plus size and somewhat dealing with the very same issues as u are.

    Thank you so much for this one! I'll be looking out for your next blog!

  2. NikStar

    I've heard all of these comments before!!! It's crazy I tell ya. I dated a guy once who actually liked big girls but was ashamed to admit to it and I actually lost 80lbs in 4 months because of him. =/ Never again!

  3. ShoeJunkie

    "…But you know one thing? Those big girls… They give good head and they're p*ssy is always tight because guys don't really mess with them too much…"

    Honestly? This post almost brought me to tears. Consider yourself lucky you only overheard this convo—I've pretty much had statements like this said directly to my face. I guess that's NY for you(and that's coming from a Brooklynite).

    Anyway, this is all really sad because it's conversations like this that make dating extra hard for full-figured women. I mean, not to cry me a river (or maybe it is), but I'm already 'intimidating' because I'm a giant in heels and working on a graduate degree but now I'm perceived to be a whore/vulnerable/desperate because I'm fat too?

    No wonder I have to look at any man who shows some type of interest with a 5000x lens microscope.

    I often feel like we "PSPs" have to work 5x harder at everything else (shopping, being active…while trying to not sweat 5x as much, and keeping a positive self-image), now we have to work just as hard at dating too.

    I mean, can I live?

    Anyway, thanks for posing the question because as disappointing as it is, it's good to know that other women have had the same experiences/thoughts.

  4. Vanessa

    I seriously love reading your blog because I feel so…understood. I had a big crush on a guy before and he told my best friend that I was pretty and that he'd always wanted to date a "thick" girl. The second part threw me off, making me feel like an experiment or something. I also dated a guy that said he loved me, but would like for me to be smaller so he could show me off to his friends. I'm only a size 12-14 and got so mad, I ended it right there. It is frustrating that plus size princesses are looked at for their size and not who they are when they first meet a guy.
    I'm glad my bf just tells me I'm beautiful and he brags to all of his friends that I'm the prettiest girl he's ever met πŸ™‚

  5. Brad

    You know, this is a hard post to comment on, but I will. I am one of your twitter followers.

    Look, these comments are subjective, and I think to say, "What do men think of Big Women" is kind of a strange question to pose. That was what three men thought of big women, not all men. I think no matter what size, women get objectified.

    Some guys would typify blondes as dumb and girls in short skirts as sluts… but these are subjective views and I am pleased to say, not all men think about women like that. I don't. I actually found this post pretty offensive because what this post does is project a stereotype of men, that people like myself try and avoid. Your post makes me wonder, why on Earth I bother.

    I then I remember my wife – who loves all these blogs, and her love of these blogs and twitter etc. has made me engage and follow them and read them so I can talk with her about them. because I support her – as my wife. I thought like this before I married her too… All of you, in your own ways objectify men (I realise some of you may objectify women), with three sisters, I have heard plenty of conversations doing that, do you ever hold your conversations up to the same scrutiny?

  6. Girl of True Heart

    I'm in the very beginning stages of developing a connection with a guy, and I have to tell you I find myself thinking, "Is he just in it to hit it" because I'm big. At the end of the day, we have to remain alert to the signs, and see if the man in question means what he says and says what he means. Those men in the barber shop can lust after a big woman all they want and think those stereotypical thoughts just like another other small-minded mentality thinks; the woman still holds the power to say yes or no.

  7. Shayna

    That's fascniating… As as a former size 18 (now size 4) I always assumed men just didn't see me when I walked by, so it's interesting to hear that there may be more comments – although, honestly, none of those seemed particularly flattering… interesting blog –

  8. Anonymous

    I've been fit my whole life, shapely, but fit. Now due to life circumstances I'm a size 18 (formly an 8).

    Now having been on both sides of the fence, it's socially easier being fit. It is. But I wouldnt change the experience of having put on weight for anything.

    It's open my eyes to people in general and how they preceive you before they know anything about you. This falls true with men in my life. Those I've dated, those I thought I wanted to date, voice their opinion of gurthier women and my mouth drops. Really? Wow. You're an asshole.

    I recently had a guy tell me he liked being with bigger girls sexually cos they wouldnt break when he put his back into it. He also mentioned that bigger girls were willing to do "more" things that others wouldn't. Obviously implying more kink than not.

    In short, I'm a better person, a better judge of character for having this extra weight, cos I otherwise might have had people in my life with negative attitudes.

    The weight is coming off and I'll never be slim, its not my body type. I've always known this about myself and embraced it at young age when girls hadnt yet developed and I was called fat until my early adult years when men realized I wasnt fat but shapely and womanly.

    For some woman with deeper body image issues, the sooner they realize they're never going to look stick thin, they should embrace the curves they have and work them to the best of their advantage!

    I'll leave you with this question from an ongoing observation…

    Why is it the older and heavier "some" women get, they feel they have to show more clevage and dress less age appropriately?

    Jane.

  9. mrs.lovettesweeney

    I came onto your blog when I typed in "what do men think of fat women" on google. Interesting take on the topic, haha i would've given them a look of appreciation, as not many men are into PSPs and i do feel ignored quite a lot, so I would take that as a compliment! I don't know about everybody else!

  10. Amanda V

    I've heard it all before too! Its nauseating! My ex loves PSPs and was never afraid to hold my hand/kiss me in public. I sort of knew his close friends but when I met some friends of friends once it was a nightmare. They were all very nice to my face but I went and sat on the arm of the sofa to be near my boy. His best friend was sittin gnext to him and had his cell phone out. I unfortunately saw the screen which was a text from another guy in the room saying "Dude she's gonna break my couch" i smacked my boy and went off to the bathroom. He followed me and i told him what happened and he was livid and basically told his friend he was an A-hole and they didnt speak for a few weeks until the friend emailed me an apology. But still. We left pretty soon after that and when we got home I cried about it. He of course felt awful and told me he didn't think that way, that he loved me, and was not ashamed of me in anyway. But the fact that we have to deal with that is horrible. And frankly I'm hot! I'm 5'10", Blonde, part time model, part time singer, with a perfect hourglass shape (a couple extra hours lol) Men can be pigs sometimes… But i still like them lol

  11. PrincessSteph

    i would urge many of us to consider thinking about the types of men that we are attracted to and the judgement that we make of men before we even meet spend time with them. I cannot fault a man for not being attracted to a "fat" woman such as myself (5'10" size 16-18) when i find certain physical flaws unattractive such as very obese men, men who do not look after themselves (hygiene/chlothes) etc. I think that their conversation was disgusting and the comments were wrong and hurtful, but faulting them for not liking "fat" girls is unfair.

    I would garner a lot more attention from men if I was skinny. I know that. I struggle with my weight, both as a medical condition, but also because i am fat. i eat too much, i don't excercise enough. we are all in that boat. thyroid, drugs, whatever is causing me to gain or hold onto weight, i still have control over some of it. If I wanted to attract more, or different men, I would focus more on losing the weight.

    i know that sounds harsh, but we are not in a perfect society, where everyone should be attracted to everyone. FYI, I'm not attracted to super skinny boys. would we be appaulled and angry to read a post by them about how not all girls are into their skeletal frames??? I think we would be angry and outraged.

    Sorry rant over. they should be shot for the conversation though. totally inappropriate.
    Princess Steph

  12. Mike Lowrey

    I'm a NY Brooklyn dude.
    I can honestly say that 80% of my dudes think the same way as the barber shop guys.

    I'm not saying its right but its the way we think. I know many dudes that just go to big girl parties. They try to get other guys to go by saying dude you can fugg a different chick every week, they are crazy desperate.

    PSPs are at a disadvantage, because of the way guys view them.
    But at the same time they are advantaged because PSP have a lil more T&A; then the Kate Winslet thin chicks.

    I feel where Celeste is coming from when she says that she just can't be a regular girl. It is true. You aren't looked upon as normal even though you are.

    Ladies I'm sure you already know that T&A; draws guys in. You will get lots of looks, comments and attention from us wherever you go. But that doesn't even mean we even like you. As the one guy said " I was ashamed to walk with her"…But you know damn well he went over to her house to sex her.

    That mixed with the fact that Sugary Sweet dudes use big women for cover because they feel big women are more in a rush to get in a relationship or married without asking too many questions.

    Ladies, keep your heads up and priorities straight. Don't settle. Be confident and sure. Everything else will work out in time.

    {Mike hops off his soapbox and reaches for his blunt and conjure cognac, ok maybe not a blunt but certainly his cognac}

  13. Lanna

    Those men are absolutely disgusting for what they said! I am only a teenager but I’m a size 12 and would consider myself pretty. I have a lot of confidence which is why guys seem to like me. But I don’t get hit on nearly as much as some of my thinner friends. One of my best guy friends told me that he thinks I’m beautiful, but if I lost some weight, he would do what he could not to f*** my brains out. I was so disgusted with that coming from him I didn’t talk to him for a while, and I yelled at him. He’s one of those boys that doesn’t know the difference between right and wrong. But that made me think, and I don’t want to have to change for someone to find me attractive. I agree I could be healthier and thinner but I’m happy with myself, so why isn’t that enough? I am loosing weight gradually. I went from a size 16 to a 12. But I’m not loosing weight for him, or any other guy. I’m doing it for me. I’m extremely athletic and play tons of sports, but I’m also super busy and don’t have much free time to get to the gym. Once I achieve my goal of a size 10 I’ll be completely satisfied with myself. But I’m happy where I am right now an that’s what counts.

  14. Lanna

    Those men are absolutely disgusting for what they said! I am only a teenager but I’m a size 12 and would consider myself pretty. I have a lot of confidence which is why guys seem to like me. But I don’t get hit on nearly as much as some of my thinner friends. One of my best guy friends told me that he thinks I’m beautiful, but if I lost some weight, he would do what he could not to f*** my brains out. I was so disgusted with that coming from him I didn’t talk to him for a while, and I yelled at him. He’s one of those boys that doesn’t know the difference between right and wrong. But that made me think, and I don’t want to have to change for someone to find me attractive. I agree I could be healthier and thinner but I’m happy with myself, so why isn’t that enough? I am loosing weight gradually. I went from a size 16 to a 12. But I’m not loosing weight for him, or any other guy. I’m doing it for me. I’m extremely athletic and play tons of sports, but I’m also super busy and don’t have much free time to get to the gym. Once I achieve my goal of a size 10 I’ll be completely satisfied with myself. But I’m happy where I am right now an that’s what counts.

  15. Roxanne

    Whoa. Reminds me of a time I overheard white Jewish guys talking about black women, saying that “They must do something. Seriously, they are supposed to be good.” They also said they’d marry one, though, so long as she converted. Funny what some people will say when they think no one is listening. Barber shop talk is like locker room talk. I’d rather not know. But being a woman in a traditionally male gathering place — no matter what you looked like, my bet is that they would have talked. Uncomfortable. Anyway, I refuse to believe that the disrespect for you and women in general displayed by these particular men is representative of all men. I just refuse.

  16. Roxanne

    Whoa. Reminds me of a time I overheard white Jewish guys talking about black women, saying that “They must do something. Seriously, they are supposed to be good.” They also said they’d marry one, though, so long as she converted. Funny what some people will say when they think no one is listening. Barber shop talk is like locker room talk. I’d rather not know. But being a woman in a traditionally male gathering place — no matter what you looked like, my bet is that they would have talked. Uncomfortable. Anyway, I refuse to believe that the disrespect for you and women in general displayed by these particular men is representative of all men. I just refuse.

  17. Jim

    Ok, to start I am extremely attractive to BBWS. But I’m still a guy, and think like a guy. 1st off we dont care what size clothes you wear or if your purse matches your shoes. We do care if your comfortable with your self and are approachable and nice to be around. We R much more visually stimulated. So dont listen to your GFs they R not men! A hot attractive BBW with a good sense of self beats a fashion dressed size 2 or 4 girl who dresses to send a signal to other women any day. Believe me a hot confident BBW makes a stick chick furious.

  18. Jim

    Ok, to start I am extremely attractive to BBWS. But I’m still a guy, and think like a guy. 1st off we dont care what size clothes you wear or if your purse matches your shoes. We do care if your comfortable with your self and are approachable and nice to be around. We R much more visually stimulated. So dont listen to your GFs they R not men! A hot attractive BBW with a good sense of self beats a fashion dressed size 2 or 4 girl who dresses to send a signal to other women any day. Believe me a hot confident BBW makes a stick chick furious.

  19. Michalya

    Im 18 and still in high school. I have never dated or had sex with any person. Im over wight and all the guys in my school only go after the skinny pretty girls. They judge me, all the time and they never ever give me a chance. They never let me be their girl. I want to find someone to love, but I feel like I cant because no matter what I ALWAYS feel like he is going to judge me and not let me be his because of my weight. Because of that I can’t love, it’s fear. Im afraid to love someone because i always feel he would leave me for someone skinny. That’s all guys want are the skinny pretty perfect girl. They dont care about personality just looks. I have never known a man to be diffrerent.

    1. JasmineLaBelleza

      Use plenty of fish, or and app like tagged. Any kind of free dating app. What the arthor failed to mention is, no matter if u, ugly, fat, skinny, a stuck up bitch. Somebody is gonna love u. Regardless. U just gotta find them.. the thing is, u have to put urself out there, to find someone. Kinda A catch 22. And also. The truth is, no matter where u are or what u look like, if u exuberate confidence., he is gonna want u.

    2. FatAngel

      First off, super hugs. You are 18 and yeah, it can get a little hard and confusing.

      Next, there is nothing wrong with being 18 and not being able to date or have sex. To be honest, I am a 28 year old woman who never had sex still (personal choice) and I am fine. Sex will happen to you and when that happens, I’m sure it’s going to be awesome!

      Dating on the other hand, like what the other people have commented here, there are a lot of ways to get one. Just be light about it. You are a fabulous 18 year old. Your beauty is astounding and your youthful energy is absolutely captivating and coveted by many! A lot of people out there would like to have what you have. Remember that. lol.

      Third, it’s all about confidence and the way that you carry yourself. I have met a lot of fabulous plus size women who have a lot of suitors, in a nice healthy relationship and leading fabulous sex lives, so be at peace! It can happen to you too. When people ask them what is their secret, they just simply said that “they just viewed themselves as women.” Therefore, they never thought of their size, but just being a strong and independent woman.

      Hugs. I hope that you find the confidence that you need to push through.

      Cheers!

    3. bbwvixen

      Dude, 18 is haaaarrrddd. I’m 23, BTW. You’re still in that awkward turtle phase . Its not all 17 magazine cracked late teens being up to be. However, you’re still young and if I’m right in some small town. College is freaking awesome!!! Party that shit up like its new years, keep your drink on you at all times because roofees are one hell of a drug. You’ll find someone. You will, I know it may not seem like it. When you do it will be amazeballs! Go experience life. Do stuff that you love and your kind of scared of. Make bad decisions with friends (not the kind of shit you would get arrested for, that stays with you for life). The world may seem so small right now, but I promise you it is huuuge! Explore it, girl! Most of all, have fun.

    4. Deidra Taylor

      Michalya, I too was a big girl in High school. as a freshman I was over 200lbs and wore a size 18!!! back in 89 “big girls” were DISGUSTING, so I too didn’t have a boyfriend nor sex. I was MISERABLE, so I lived thru my skinny cousins!! But as I got older I embraced myself and started dating guys a few yrs older and THAT was my breakthrough!! Im just saying, guys that are more mature make “some” better judgements about dating a big girl! Now a days, curvy girls are IN!!! So theres no reason for you to be alone! BUTTTTT, there are a few things you MUST DO in order to get the attention that you want: 1st, MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE THE SHARPEST DRESS GIRL IN THE SCHOOL! I don’t care if you shop at the thrift store, be neat, clean and WELL coordinated! Jewelry and accessories is a MUST! 2nd, KEEP YOUR HAIR, FACE, NAILS & FEET WELL GROOMED!!! Guys are attracted to “WHAT LOOKS GOOD” 3rd, SMELL GOOD!!! ALWAYS walk past people and leave your GOOD scent behind! They will think of you or at least remember you for your distinct smell!!! and last but not least, BE APPROACHABLE!!! Sooo many girls walk around with an attitude or frown on their face:thus they seem UNAPPROACHABLE! Walk thru the halls with a smile on your face, pretend to be on your cell and act like you are laughing and chatting up a ball! Also make it known that YOU HAVE ALREADY HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!! Act like he attends another school in another state and yall Skype & facebook all day! Guys are attracted to what another guy wants! I hope this helps sweetie!!! This same advice has helped dozens of my nieces, little cousins and friends girls!!!
      GOOD LUCK PUDDING!!
      DEIDRA
      http://www.deidradazzling.blogspot.com

      1. JoJo

        I agree with all of this EXCEPT the last part. Don’t pretend to be someone that you aren’t, or have something that you don’t. If you are upset that people don’t see you for who you are, that won’t help.

      2. Stephanie Jane

        good advice Deidra- I love the approachable piece- so totally true. I could see your smiling face in the school hallway sitting right here at my computer! What a true statement and powerful image.

  20. Michalya

    Im 18 and still in high school. I have never dated or had sex with any person. Im over wight and all the guys in my school only go after the skinny pretty girls. They judge me, all the time and they never ever give me a chance. They never let me be their girl. I want to find someone to love, but I feel like I cant because no matter what I ALWAYS feel like he is going to judge me and not let me be his because of my weight. Because of that I can’t love, it’s fear. Im afraid to love someone because i always feel he would leave me for someone skinny. That’s all guys want are the skinny pretty perfect girl. They dont care about personality just looks. I have never known a man to be diffrerent.

    1. JasmineLaBelleza

      Use plenty of fish, or and app like tagged. Any kind of free dating app. What the arthor failed to mention is, no matter if u, ugly, fat, skinny, a stuck up bitch. Somebody is gonna love u. Regardless. U just gotta find them.. the thing is, u have to put urself out there, to find someone. Kinda A catch 22. And also. The truth is, no matter where u are or what u look like, if u exuberate confidence., he is gonna want u.

      1. Danyell Swayzer

        because i am a plus size confident 42 yrs old banging a 28 yr old stallion.. That enjoys me.. And he does an amazing thing for my body…. its men out here that adores US… Actually cant wait too he get off..
        Great exercise

    2. FatAngel

      First off, super hugs. You are 18 and yeah, it can get a little hard and confusing.

      Next, there is nothing wrong with being 18 and not being able to date or have sex. To be honest, I am a 28 year old woman who never had sex still (personal choice) and I am fine. Sex will happen to you and when that happens, I’m sure it’s going to be awesome!

      Dating on the other hand, like what the other people have commented here, there are a lot of ways to get one. Just be light about it. You are a fabulous 18 year old. Your beauty is astounding and your youthful energy is absolutely captivating and coveted by many! A lot of people out there would like to have what you have. Remember that. lol.

      Third, it’s all about confidence and the way that you carry yourself. I have met a lot of fabulous plus size women who have a lot of suitors, in a nice healthy relationship and leading fabulous sex lives, so be at peace! It can happen to you too. When people ask them what is their secret, they just simply said that “they just viewed themselves as women.” Therefore, they never thought of their size, but just being a strong and independent woman.

      Hugs. I hope that you find the confidence that you need to push through.

      Cheers!

    3. Deidra Taylor

      Michalya, I too was a big girl in High school. as a freshman I was over 200lbs and wore a size 18!!! back in 89 “big girls” were DISGUSTING, so I too didn’t have a boyfriend nor sex. I was MISERABLE, so I lived thru my skinny cousins!! But as I got older I embraced myself and started dating guys a few yrs older and THAT was my breakthrough!! Im just saying, guys that are more mature make “some” better judgements about dating a big girl! Now a days, curvy girls are IN!!! So theres no reason for you to be alone! BUTTTTT, there are a few things you MUST DO in order to get the attention that you want: 1st, MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE THE SHARPEST DRESS GIRL IN THE SCHOOL! I don’t care if you shop at the thrift store, be neat, clean and WELL coordinated! Jewelry and accessories is a MUST! 2nd, KEEP YOUR HAIR, FACE, NAILS & FEET WELL GROOMED!!! Guys are attracted to “WHAT LOOKS GOOD” 3rd, SMELL GOOD!!! ALWAYS walk past people and leave your GOOD scent behind! They will think of you or at least remember you for your distinct smell!!! and last but not least, BE APPROACHABLE!!! Sooo many girls walk around with an attitude or frown on their face:thus they seem UNAPPROACHABLE! Walk thru the halls with a smile on your face, pretend to be on your cell and act like you are laughing and chatting up a ball! Also make it known that YOU HAVE ALREADY HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!! Act like he attends another school in another state and yall Skype & facebook all day! Guys are attracted to what another guy wants! I hope this helps sweetie!!! This same advice has helped dozens of my nieces, little cousins and friends girls!!!
      GOOD LUCK PUDDING!!
      DEIDRA
      http://www.deidradazzling.blogspot.com

    4. S.M18

      Legit same but the worst thing is that no one talks about Is that your that awkward friend that has to go stag to prom, that you’ll never have that amazing moment of being promposed too. Also that you’ll never be the one asking for relationship advice, only giving it because hey all your friends think your a therapist. Being a bigger girl I feel like I have to restrict myself from doing things that others don’t even think about like going to the carnival and getting a ride in a crowded car being the first thought I’ll have is Will I fit? And not squish anyone. But the most painful thing in high school, is that all your friends have boyfriends and you ask yourself everyday is, Where is mine? And why can’t I have that too? Guys don’t want you but they’ll stare at your ass and be your best friend because they only see you as an in with your skinny friends

    5. Bob Smith

      Michalya high school boys are idiots! Im 29 and I am very attracted to curvy women. Most guys I know want a girl with a big ass. Some guys like skinny women, some dont. Me personally, I like a woman that has the curves. My ex gf was very pretty and she was around 225 pounds. I wish I could meet someone like you

      1. Michael Kocsis

        My wife is plus size and she is soooooooo hot. I love her curves and
        prefer them. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise about curves, skinny
        women don’t have them. Her tits and ass are much fuller, hips too. She has the hottest figure naked.

    6. Iamionis

      Honey Cupcakes, you fine you just don’t know it, once you know and feel that you are everyone else will know and respect you for just that, I’ve always been a lil healthier than my peers, my fluffiness and curvy hips made me feel like I had something that the skinny chicks did not, at 50 years old honey I kid you not I have to tell young men I have son’s bigger and older, the way I carry myself men want me or they are afraid I’ll reject them, or they think I must be married, girl treat yourself like your all that they are some plus size young ladies that are so on point a guy would have to come correct to even approach them….Read Blogs for Plus size women look at plus size and curvy women pages on FB you’ll be surprised how fine these women are….I most importantly Trust God with your life know who you are in him, he’ll give you the confidence you need to live a happy fulffilled prosperous life.

  21. lebigmac

    Women just aren’t supposed to be rail thin. its just not genetically meant to be. women are meant to have some extra weight but Western culture, corporate culture, and mainstream media has taught men (Im M, 23 btw) They NEED stick girls in orde to be auccessful. It’s a toxic mindset, and for girls, that stress is just not even healthy. A BMI that indicates a girl is on the heavy side of “normal weight” is definitely the most attractive for the non brainwashed (and there are plenty out there). The unfortunate truth is that men want that idea of sexy taught by the media, and the social stigma of an average or heavy girl is very real, and a lot of men are embarrassed about the fact that it is their sexual preference, so they hide it. @ Lanna, that kind of comment is actually rather tame compared to what gets thrown around by most men, still doesn’t make it right, let alone considerate to keep it in their pants for a half hour hair cut.

  22. lebigmac

    Women just aren’t supposed to be rail thin. its just not genetically meant to be. women are meant to have some extra weight but Western culture, corporate culture, and mainstream media has taught men (Im M, 23 btw) They NEED stick girls in orde to be auccessful. It’s a toxic mindset, and for girls, that stress is just not even healthy. A BMI that indicates a girl is on the heavy side of “normal weight” is definitely the most attractive for the non brainwashed (and there are plenty out there). The unfortunate truth is that men want that idea of sexy taught by the media, and the social stigma of an average or heavy girl is very real, and a lot of men are embarrassed about the fact that it is their sexual preference, so they hide it. @ Lanna, that kind of comment is actually rather tame compared to what gets thrown around by most men, still doesn’t make it right, let alone considerate to keep it in their pants for a half hour hair cut.

  23. lebigmac

    So yes heavier is my preference, and I’m going to like who I like, nothing in the world will change that. It’s hard wired. Other guys, like the French, or the Greek are hard wired for slim women. I ask this, is it possible to accept that someone prefers something you don’t and not denigrate them like some ignoramus, or bigoted Nazi. Thank you. Some people’s world is so small that the smallest change to it threatens their entire way of life. its just sad for those people. I, and a few other guys who have a spine will date/ sleep with whoever we want. Men follow my lead, not the other way around. Bigger girls just persist and a guy with some balls will eventually find you.

  24. lebigmac

    So yes heavier is my preference, and I’m going to like who I like, nothing in the world will change that. It’s hard wired. Other guys, like the French, or the Greek are hard wired for slim women. I ask this, is it possible to accept that someone prefers something you don’t and not denigrate them like some ignoramus, or bigoted Nazi. Thank you. Some people’s world is so small that the smallest change to it threatens their entire way of life. its just sad for those people. I, and a few other guys who have a spine will date/ sleep with whoever we want. Men follow my lead, not the other way around. Bigger girls just persist and a guy with some balls will eventually find you.

  25. Rav Matt

    Most of the people thought same like that barber. It is not the good way of thinking. They are also the same in the earth. People who think wrong about plus size women who are wrong in their way. Just try to think globally. Our VLL(Very Large ladies) platform are for large ladies. verylargeladies.com

  26. Proud2bbw

    All I have to say is I LOVVVE bring a big girl!! I found that my skinny girl friends might get more men sleeping them, but i get a lot of men who have loved me, I know it sounds weird but men get to know me before wonting to have sex with me.. It cuts out all the stupid shallow men and leaves me with the men who LOVE ME FOR ME…!! YAY WINK WINK… Think about that and smile and feel good about all that sweet love you have to give to the right man.. xoxo

  27. bbwvixen

    I’ve always been plus sized. The smallest I’ve ever been is a 12. This is probably due to ancestry. My great aunts on my father’s father’s side were like 6’2 and stout. They were 100% irish. I have never had problems really with men. I’ve had flings, lovers, relationships, and one night stands. Every single one of these men have been cookie cutter american boys. Tall, home grown, well defined or average, and generally good looking. I’m not saying BHM are bad or anything, I just have a certain type, just as men do. I started dating in High School and lost my virginity when I was 15. These guys never cared that I was PSP because my personality was freakin larger than I was. Men are going to like what they like. Can’t really do much there, y’know? Personality does have a huge factor, though. I feel that dating sites don’t really purvey that well enough. Sure you can write about yourself, but a guy isn’t going to know how awkwardly you eat tacos or how you apologize to furniture when you bump into it. It doesn’t show the look on your face when you’re doing something you love and going to see your favorite band. There’s only so much that a dating website can do. Sure, guys can be dicks, but girls can be real twats, too. Be fierce, be you, and tell the people that say ugly shit about you to go fuck themselves. Remember: Lions don’t care for the opinions of sheep.

  28. Veronica

    I think part of this is a guy’s “machismo” attitude in front of his friends. I also find that the younger or more immature or uneducated the man the worse it is. Unfortunately, the media still portrays plus size girls as unattractive and unwanted. I’ve struggled with this concept all of my life. I have always been overweight or plus size ranging from a 12 – 24 and here is what I have finally realized: Fat, Skinny, Tall, Short – everything is a preference for someone. If you are happy with who you are, happy with how you look then others will be as well. Attractive men will find you attractive, Ugly men will find you attractive and women who are not confident in themselves regardless of your size will never understand that size is just one part of the puzzle, and that confidence and a great personality are just as important as everything else. When you are confident people want to be around you and find that attractive. Fat girls need to stop worrying about their size and do what they really want to do. Go clubbing, hit on that guy, climb the mountain, wear the outfit as long as you are happy who cares what the other people have to say. Haters are everywhere, look at what people say about the most gorgeous celebs. So dust it off and find the next person who likes you the way you are. I love this blog because CeCe is a confident, smart beautiful women regardless of whatever size she is or ever will be!

  29. Eric

    I love a larger woman. My wife is a size 20. I read the article above and I could relate to some of what those men were saying… that they like big women, but they are told (typically by other men) that they are not allowed (or even shamed when they do) like big women. I am personally tired of the advertising world telling me what I should like. Hardee’s running ads of a skinny mini eating a burger 1/2 her size. I bet she spit the bite out after each take – not because of taste. I am in no way saying men who date, or marry, plus size women have it as hard as the woman themselves, but there is some ‘social shame’ that comes along with liking a big woman. It’s not right. I don’t want to feel bad about it. I don’t want to have to make lame jokes with my ‘friends’ to cover up dating a big girl (like I did in High School). I don’t have friends like that now. Screw them. I want to like what I like and not feel ashamed!

  30. Ema

    I think you just took equality back a few decades.

    “Normal” BMI is a range that is optimum for health. Of course there are other factors (BF%, bone density and muscle), but as a vast majority, that range is proven to be healthy across all ethnicity.

    To imply that anyone, who prefers someone that isn’t at the “heavy side of “normal weight””, has been brain-washed is just rude. No-one decides on what they consider “sexy” because of the media. Usually it’s based on past experiences linked to certain emotions.

    And for you to say that, implies that anyone that thinks thin is sexy, is therefore brainwashed, then you, my blinded friend, are just as bad as anyone who might say that fat is un-sexy.

  31. Prettydogg

    Im 18 and im a senior in high school. I feel like I cant love because boys i like dont like me back, they always just wana have sex. I use to have sex with lots of boys when i was younger because that was my way of feeling loved. I feel like if i be somebody girlfriend they will hudge me for being fat or because of my past. Lots of people love me and stuff but they also say im mean. Im actually a punk lol. I think im just mean because i need some love. I feel like i live through my friend when it comes to her and her boyfriend. I crush a lot too and i hate that. I need advice ASAP

  32. Lana Merritt Tanner

    Let me tell you ladies something. QUIT LOOKING FOR HIM!!! Go and have fun your young and NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER DOUBT YOURSELF!!! Just be you and that ladies will always attract the MEN not boys..

  33. Lana Merritt Tanner

    Look sweetie your in high school right now. They arje boys not men!! Don’t beat yourself up over them they themselves don’t know what they want. Best advice I can give you. QUIT LOOKING!! Go and have fun your only young once don’t waste it thinking your not good enough. You are better than they are.BE YOURSELF!!!! He’ll find you and that I can promise…..

  34. Stephanie Jane

    I have been there girl- I have made the mistake of taking love from wherever love may come from and it messed me up royally. You will be surprised at how many men really like bigger women. I’m not going to say all of the typical “love your body” blah blah stuff because I’m still there with you and it’s hard every day. Just know that healthy means a lot of things- healthy also means being emotionally healthy with another person. You will find him and he will find you- just hold out for it. Believe me- the more you tempt them the more curious they become and what is sex and lust if it isn’t a form of power? Hold that power girl and watch what they will do to try and win your favor. This saying may sound cheesy too but this one is 100% true- confidence is majorly sexy. Now, how to find that confidence is another story. I won’t lie to you and tell you it’s easy to find your confidence while being a plus size woman. However, once you have found it- revel in it. What are you good at? Are you hysterical? Do you have an amzing singing voice? Do you have the ability to win over a room with your personality? Are you fierce and unrelentless in some part of your life? Feed on it and let it prop you up, because at the end of the day you are damn sexy for it!

  35. Morgan

    I just embrace my weight. Who ever said that being sassy and a big princess was a bad thing? If they guys don’t like it then they don’t know what they are missing out on. Everyone that is skinny as a stick think that there we don’t do anything to try to fix it, but we do. They should just shut up with the rude comments. Also while am writing this there is a show on the TV right now and it is saying that anyone over 150 lbs. should not ever wear a bikini, or any other type of bathing suite, this makes me so mad. I wish people would just STOP!

    1. SkinnyPuppy

      Look Ham Planet/Universe. We HEALTHY and SLIM people don’t want to pay for your long term care. You are fat because you eat too much.

      1. Sugsug

        The name calling wasn’t necessary; It was just disrespectful, and immature. Slim does not equal healthy, and most people who are overweight don’t overeat. I’ve been skinny my entire life, but I don’t eat healthy, nor do I exercise. My sister is big, and she eat’s very healthy, and she goes to the gym like every day. She is healthy, and in better shape than I am. Just because you have issues with yourself, doesn’t mean it’s okay to make others feel bad about themselves.

  36. kristi hyatt

    I have always been “bigger” than all the females i was in school with, including highschool. i was never fat per say, but i was a good 5 to 6 in taller standing at my tallest 5’10, and much more curvy. i didnt get much attention in highschool from the boys. i was so self conscience for years and it carried into my adult life. but as i have gone thru my 20’s and now into my 30’s, i find myself constantly pursued by alot of men. i have never had a shortage of men of all heights and sizes pursue me. After having my kids i gained 50+ lbs and am losing it, but i was very discouraged about my weight for a long time but even in that time i was not short of men pursuing me. Now BOYS not men in school, will go after more popular and skinny girls. i think that is just the way it is. i have dated men of all ages now and it seems to have no limit as to what they like now that i am older. I have had some VERY attractive men come after me when they have a so called skinny and fine wife or girlfriend, or when there are other females around that are way smaller than me. sometimes its been at the times i have been my heaviest. And i am NOT easy. i am actually an introvert and dont go out of my way to talk to ANYONE.

  37. Samantha

    Hi Michalya,
    I was a big girl in high school as well and felt the exact same way. ALL the guys in my school wanted the skinny pretty girls. I honest to God thought that I would never find love and be alone forever. But here I am 20 years old with the most amazing, caring, sweet guy who doesn’t care how much I weigh and who isn’t ashamed to flaunt me out in public. Trust me you WILL find someone who loves you for you. You are still so young and have your whole life a head of you. High school is only 4 years; nothing compared to the rest of your life!! Hope this gives you some perspective and let’s you know that there is that perfect someone for you!!

  38. heather

    I’m a 34 year old mom and we’ve been married 8 years, dated for 3 prior to that. I had always been on the curvier side (5’8 175 lbs). My husband and I had never had an open discussion on the topic that I had some extra lbs on and a scrawny barbie was the ideal beauty. And our love life was just fine. But i’d always worried about if he was just settling for me and his ideal barbie type is a skinnier girl. A few years back, i did some digging and found his porn stash (lol) which mostly featured curvier/voluptous/bigger women (however you wanna call it). After i confronted him on it, he was blushing and freaking out, of course, but it turned out for the better. But, our love life was drastically better as i had no insecurities about my body anymore. Two kids and 40 extra lbs later, our love life is great. Love comes in all shapes and sizes. Don’t stop living life because you didn’t look like the girl doing the catwalk. Amen.

  39. Yousuf Farhan

    I have no idea how I ended up here, I’m sorry. Majority of the guys hate fat girls. No matter how godo their personality is. An average not so fat girl with a good personality can be attractive. But fat? Never. No offence to anyone, but they are disgusting, thinking about them makes me sick. SOrry to break it to you.

  40. Natasha Lafienere

    Ladies, I am 41 and have been plus size all my life. I have always felt ashamed on how I looked and of course that brings your confidence down to a low. I did not have a boyfriend until I was 21 and that was the same year I had sex for the first time. I met a great guy, we had a child and after 11 years we broke up. He LOVED the larger girls and loved how I looked in anything.
    The point I am getting is that after we broke up (four months ago) I took a good hard look at myself and realized that I am who I am, fat or not. I have become very confident and comfortable in my skin and I walk with my head up and not ashamed anymore. I have accepted who I am and I am quite the advocate for no body shaming regardless of your size. I have noticed that with this confidence guys do take notice…its not your size…its how your present yourself!!! There will be those small minded people who need to feel like they are better then you, need to degrade you and make you feel small. But I have come to just let those with narrow minds leave my universe and be proud of who I am. I am great person, with a great sense of humor, confident, sexy and loyal…all wrapped up in a nice over sized bow!!!

  41. Christine

    I am a big woman I am 240 and I have been right at 200 all my life since I was a teen. The skinniest I ever was was 180. I have PCOS and it hinders loosing any weight at all or getting pregnant for that matter. I will say this I never went without sex if I wanted it when I was in my 20’s, had guys hit on me quite a bit and kept some around longer than I would have liked to then. I was always told by the men that I did date that I was a great lover and I would make a man a wonderful wife when I chose to settle down. I am married now to a retired firefighter now truck driver and he is tall and thin he towers over me and he is sexy as hell. I had a baby and gained 40 pounds and have not lost the weight yet. He constantly has called me sexy since the day we met and he still does. He flirts with me in public and flaunts me when he can. I would say most men out there want a girl with meat on her bones, but some don’t to each their own. Just because we are big does not mean we do not get what we want just like any other girl and maybe we are freaks in the bedroom where some girls are not. But I have know skinny girls that are the same way and for the tight snatch it is called kegel exercises keeps your snatch fit and help your pelvic flow. I do them daily and my man loves it. So whatever men that may or may not like big girls. We are unique, we are sexy, we are great lovers, we love with our souls even if it is a short relationship, and if we want we can melt any man like butter just because we can. I am a proud big girl and I have recently chosen to respect that in myself because for years I thought I was flawed Not anymore at 36 with 3 wonderful kids that respect other and a great husband that loves having sex with me whenever he can get it. I can say I am a happy woman

  42. Najah Daniels

    Im currently a junior in high school and a big girl……all my life i had problems controling my weight constantly gaining and losing it as a big girl i can say no everyone is the same when it come to size but i feel liks most boys or men like to experiment with big girls to see how it is to be with one most of they guys would only want sex because of the previous things explained( tight pussies and good head) but never wanna be with you are be seen with you ….personally i been through that before more than once…..as a big girl im always looked down on ans and laughed at or judged or told im unhealthy or i need to lose weight i try not to let these things get to me but it does at times when i picture myself in the future or doing something i picture myself skinny and everybody wanting me because society make it seem like u gotta be skinny or slim to be sexy or wanted which is sad. You know its sad when some of Your family even talk about you smh

    1. crtfly

      Najah,

      Your picture tells me you are absolutely beautiful. I wish you a wonderful life! From a plus size “old lady” who wasted many years yo-yo dieting. Don’t do that. It’s not worth it.

      Chris

  43. heavymetal94

    Don’t worry high school is full of idiot dudes who don’t appreciate true beauty there are plenty of men who think bigger women are sexy as hell well I do anyways πŸ™‚

  44. prettyphat

    It is definitely hard being plus-size pretty and looking for a serious relationship especially at 32. Now I have been plus size all of my life so I have experience it all and I must say it is all pretty exhausting to be quite honest. Especially when the type of man that you are attracted to is the least likely type of man that would be attracted to women that are pretty and plus size. I don’t care how confident I have become and how beautiful I am on the inside and on the outside if a man is not attracted to a plus size woman then they just aren’t attracted to us and in return makes the picking of available men slimmer.

  45. Dirtybubblez

    After becoming an adult, I had a rude awakening – while I thought men were never interested in me because of my size, I’ve had a good number of guys approach me and take significant interest in me (sometimes too much) and I consider my looks pretty average. It felt the opposite throughout school though and that guys would never like me, but men take interest, I just feel frustrated by my shyness that I can’t seem to pursue relationships with guys mainly due to insecurities about my looks. There was a friend who I would almost call a boyfriend who really accepted me for who I was, he seemed to love my body and wanted to be seen out with me and just really appreciated me. Ultimately, I feel like it boils down to my own self-image.

    I loved this article and it was a great read, thanks for this post!

  46. KMilian

    Hi honey,
    You should come to Belize the men here love them some big girls lol. On a more serious note. Start with loving you. There is going to be nothing like when your confidence is strong and you walk into a room owning it. Even if you get overlooked or not if you love yourself you don’t need validation from none. Pretty soon the right man will follow. Before I met my husband he had all petite girls and when we met we didnt really hit it off I wasn’t his normal type and he wasn’t mine either. He always told me I was pretty and then eventually we started spending more time together as friends and before we knew it we were in love. The way he looks at me 10 years later few pounds added on and not to include stretch marks lol, its like the 1st time. If he passes me in our house he is patting me down lol. He always calls me sexy almost everyday. I asked him what was it about me? He said the way you carry yourself, the mystery you had and that smile I look forward to seeing it everyday and the fact that nobody couldn’t have you so when I realize I did, made me honored to have you…be yourself baby love yourself the right one will find you.

  47. Zane Jackson

    Most women i have ever been with are plus sized just because i like that in a women sure i dont mind smaller either. But when your really over weight i find it unattractive not because of how you look but because your to weak and lazy to change it so you just accept this fake image as “yourself”

  48. Altkacker

    Rule 34 says that whatever you can think of, there is a pron site dedicated to that. Rule 34a is, whatever you find your least attractive quality, right now some guy is entering that into a search engine looking for it. I happen to like big women. Big, sexy, confident, But I like short women, and skinny women, and tall, thin women, too.
    I’d suggest that if it is sex that you want, find a mature, older man, that will appreciate you, treat you well, take you out, and won’t care what anyone thinks about you or your size.
    NOT a letcher, or a married man, or a creeper, but a nice, single older man with good tastes. Once you’ve satisfied your itch, and some of the boys that you know have matured and have learned to appreciate that race cars are light, but luxury cars are padded luxuriously, you can start to look for a long-term relationship. You are eighteen, go have some fun with someone that will treat you like a queen.

  49. Derham Paul

    Big fat women ♀ sorry it’s true ugly and they are a major turn off and look like they really smell horrible yuck

  50. jessa

    That is the saddest, rude, disgusting, and objectifying conversation I’ve ever heard in my life. I can bet my last dollar that all of their mothers are the fat woman they are talking about.

  51. Marcel West-Bailey

    This is my question. Do plus size women prefer men who like plus size women or men who don’t care about their weight?

  52. Nate

    I thought I liked skinny girls when I was in high school because all the other guys did, truth is, I was (and still am) attracted to thick women. It’s especially attractive if she carries herself with confidence, but unfortunately most don’t because they’ve been body shamed forever. I’m not a skinny guy by any means, I’m 37 so my metabolism has crashed, but I hide it well because I’m 6’2″ and 220lb. Be confident in yourself, there’s someone for everyone, I know it sucks to not have someone, but it’s better than being in a crappy relationship. My wife was skinny in the waist when we got married, but a curvy butt and hips, now after 2 kids and 13 years of marriage, she’s even thicker but I can’t keep my eyes and hands off her! Keep your chin up ladies, you’ll find a real man that appreciates you!

  53. yw

    I actually do like girls without makeup who are chubby (i have high metabolism and I’m thin) and not self conscious about her body. However, that’s just a secondary objective that may or may not coincide with my primary objective; I’ve been telling myself lately that no matter how preferable a girl might be in doing the chores or great in the bed I wouldn’t be able to communicate with her as a person due to distrusting my capability at discerning whether a girl is worth it or not. As you all might know, a human is great at pretending to believe in something or trying to lie to show that she/he is something desirable. My time at school was not great at all as well because I was the weird friendless one and as such an easy target for bullying -*sigh* gotta ‘thank’ WWE for that, I knew that it had a big role in those waves of aggression-. In the end, that sense of isolation really sinked in and I lost any chance at communicating with anyone, or let’s say I lost all trust. I really never thought of myself as an endless greedy pit, not when I can’t satisfy its needs by myself anyway.

  54. Ken Martin

    I personally love fat women. Love the curves, the softness, lumps, bumps, jiggles, shakes. Cuddling is so much fun, with something to hold on to, something to squeeze. Ever hear the saying “cushin for pushin”? It’s true, but much more than that. It’s so pleasurable to cuddle with a soft warm lady. Skinny is not soft, or warm! Love your fat girl, tell her how beautiful she is, show her with actions, because words are just that… words. You can definitely hurt a woman with words, but to prove your love, “action speaks louder than words” See, another great saying! Truth is, there are way more men who love fat women, than you think. They’re in the closet, afraid of what their friends and family will say. Which is very sad, for many wonderful relationships don’t get the chance, to get get off the ground. I’ve never been able to get excited over a thin girl, but I’m an animal with a big girl! I love a nice big round butt, super thick thighs, and calves! That sexy roll over the waistband, to hold while we’re walking so people can see I love my fat girl. All my friends know my preference. One guy asked me if I’ll ever date a normal girl. He meant thin. He is not my friend anymore. Bottom line, I know what I like, and that’s that. I’m not changing for anything, or anyone.

  55. ARONN

    I am a tall skinny guy. I had quite a few girlfriends (one at a time!!!) who were short and fat. One such girlfriend of mine lifted weights. I towered over her by 14 inches while she outweighed me by 65 pounds (her 4-foot-11 at 190 lbs. vs. my 6-foot-1 at 125 lbs. One day, early in our relationship, she and I decided to lift weights together. I already had a barbell set so I set the barbell up on the floor at my apartment where I invited her over. She went first. While I was watching her, she easily lifted it up over her shoulders. While I continued to watch her, she easily lifted it up over her head from her shoulders not just once but twice (both times EASILY!!!). Then came my turn. She stepped back from the barbell and then I stepped forward to the barbell. While she was watching me, I struggled really hard (FIERCELY!!!), barely managing to lift it above my shoulders. While she continued to watch me, I struggled even harder, barely managing to lift it up over my head. When I tried to lift it up over my head from my shoulders a second time just like I saw her do, I FAILED MISERABLY!!! I was barely able to get it a couple of inches above my shoulders. I felt really embarrassed losing to her. I was especially embarrassed losing to her because I stood way taller than she did and also because of my being a male and her being a female. She and I then stood directly in front of each other (with her looking way up at me while I was looking way down at her). I realized I was beaten so I congratulated her on her easy victory over me. She and I then walked over and sat down on the sofa. She saw how embarrassed I was so she kissed me. I was no longer embarrassed after that and I was even impressed with her being bigger and stronger than I was despite my towering height over her. I kissed her and then she and I began kissing each other tenderly (our first kiss together). That was when she became my girlfriend!!!

  56. ranger99

    I’m an overweight guy and I’d never date an overweight woman. They just aren’t attractive. At all. Not even a little bit.

    I would honestly be single and celibate for the rest of my life than be with a woman I’m not attracted to.

    Does that make me a hypocrite? Yes. Absolutely. Am I fine with that? Yes. Absolutely.

  57. Sandra

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