Dating

Men Every Big Girl Will Meet: The Bouncer

March 2 2010 | CeCe Olisa

It was one of those random Saturday nights that just naturally unfolds. After dinner and drinks in Chelsea with my girlfriends, we decided that we wanted to go dancing. We piled into a cab and ten minutes later we were on the Lower East Side, making our way into one of those dance spots that’s super popular even though there’s no sign on the door.

The DJ was rockin’ it and we’d had our share of cocktails, so caution was being thrown to the wind. As per usual, there were moments when I felt like I was the only one who wasn’t being approached by guys, but I was too tipsy to care. The bass was pounding and I was having my own dance party when Beyonce’s “Get Me Bodied” came on. That song has become sort of a theme song among my girlfriends and immediately we were huddled together doing the UH oh, UH oh, UH oh no no no.

I could feel someone watching me and when I looked up, one of the bouncers gave me a smile and a nod.

Maybe I watched that Studio 54 movie too many times (Ryan Phillippe, anyone?) but I was always afraid that some bouncer would stop me on my way into a club and tell me that I was too fat to be there. But ever since Kenzie and I acquired those fake ID’s, the opposite has been the case. I’ve attended birthday parties at clubs where there was a cover, but I got in for free because of a bouncer who thought I was cute. I’ve also had bouncers corner me on my way out of the ladies room to ask for my number.

It can be flattering… but its mostly frustrating.

While my friends are being publicly hit on by brokers and bankers, I’m privately being approached by bouncers. More often than not, a bouncer will slide up beside me and discreetly ask me my name so that he wont get in trouble. 99% of the time, I’m not interested, but if I do decide to converse with them, they’re constantly looking over my shoulder to see if their manager is walking by. I understand that they approach me with discretion because they’re they’re not supposed to be fraternizing with the patrons, but it makes me feel like a secret or something. Not to mention the fact that they probably do this every single weekend to every PSP who comes in to dance.

I’ve had bouncers hit on me in bars, clubs, lounges, Dave and Busters and at the BBW parties, so its definitely a pattern in my life. Although, its getting old.

If a tall muscular man in a black suit is going to tell me I’m beautiful, I want him to follow that up with a drink, a dance and some conversation. I don’t want him to spend the rest of the night standing on the wall staring at me without moving.

Facebook Comments

17 responses on “Men Every Big Girl Will Meet: The Bouncer

  1. ProfessorMichel

    Girl, you ain't neva lied! LOL. Bouncers and security guards love me. I used to visit a government building quite often and no matter who was on duty when I got there, they always had to flirt. I try not to make eye contact in clubs now. Even a guy that I met with a professional job outside the club, I later found out he did some occasional bouncing on the weekends! It's crazy. But, he was fine though. Like oiled-up, Mr. October fine **fans self**.

  2. Missouri Girl

    Can I honestly ask why it matters? I understand that as a PSP you want to be hit on like the "normal" girls, but does it matter if the guy is honesty interested?

    I think so often times we PSPs have our gruard so up that we can't just enjoy the moments. Does that make sense?

  3. The Big Girl Blog!

    Hey Rebekah,

    You know I dont usually chime in on the comments, but I wanted to answer your question 🙂

    When I go out, I just want to dance… with a guy! I'm not really looking for love in the club.

    So its just annoying when the ONE guy in the room who wants to "cut a rug" with me, isn't allowed to. Its anti-climactic.

    Hope that makes sense!

    xoxo

  4. Girl of True Heart

    Bouncers and security guards. Yes. This IS a theme! Every time I WISH it was someone I felt attracted to in return. I would definitely be willing to give my number. But…and I hope you're getting to this one in your thread of guys we meet…they're USUALLY MARRIED! I am a married man magnet. And it drives me insane.

  5. princessvalecia

    OMG I thought that was just me! This gentleman took me on a casual date recently and the first words I remember hearing were "blah blah blah I work security" My next thought was oh gosh another one! Hmm wonder why that is? Glad I'm not alone. 🙂

  6. mediavore

    Honey, no…

    As an ex-bouncer woman and an ex-bartender, I tell every friend I love to avoid phone numbers from the bar staff, ESPECIALLY the bouncers. When they're not checking IDs, they're checking out asses all night. We unflatteringly referred to all the one night stand girls they'd collect as "door whores," and they had a revolving door line-up of them. This IS a theme because there's no end of skeezy guys at the door and the girls who feed into the trend.

    While I agree with some of the other "Men Every Big Girl Will Meet," I believe bouncers are the most toxic.

  7. Mike Lowrey

    I really thought it was common sense but I see that all women really don't know that Bartenders, Club promoters, and Bouncers aren't really interested in you Lol.

    Sad part is even after you know this fact most will still flirt it up with staff. Geez.

    I flew into NYC that week to party that weekend but that damn huge snowstorm made me not even bother hitting the clubs. How did you make it out?

  8. vatrice george

    I guess we should add cops, sanitation workers,bus drivers, commuter train drivers, amtrak workers, hvac guys, construction workers, engineers, cab drivers, west indian guys, african guys, european guys, middle eastern guys, asian guys (indian and pakistan), chefs, cooks, teachers, social workers, gosh govt/city/ civil service employees in general, pseg workers, verizon technicians, cable technicians. Thanks to the admiration of full figure ladies by west indian, african, pakistan and indian guys ive been hit on by plenty of “white collar”/”professional” dudes; ie doctors, attorneys, stock brokers, pharmacist and scientist. The more i look at my list, i realize alot of men in general find fuller figure women attractive.

  9. vatrice george

    I guess we should add cops, sanitation workers,bus drivers, commuter train drivers, amtrak workers, hvac guys, construction workers, engineers, cab drivers, west indian guys, african guys, european guys, middle eastern guys, asian guys (indian and pakistan), chefs, cooks, teachers, social workers, gosh govt/city/ civil service employees in general, pseg workers, verizon technicians, cable technicians. Thanks to the admiration of full figure ladies by west indian, african, pakistan and indian guys ive been hit on by plenty of “white collar”/”professional” dudes; ie doctors, attorneys, stock brokers, pharmacist and scientist. The more i look at my list, i realize alot of men in general find fuller figure women attractive.

  10. Harold

    There are some exciting points in time in this write-up but I do not know if I see all of them center to heart. There is certainly some validity but I will take hold opinion till I appear into it further. Good write-up , thanks and we want additional!

  11. American Nationals

    ANPC is a free nation for and by the living men and women of the earth. This Private Nation is a grassroots association based out of Indonesia having its own International Charter, Peace Treaty, Constitution, Rules of conduct and has adopted the Declaration of Human Rights. These Treaties have been Registered by International Notice to the Hague and World Court as well as other agencies worldwide. The entire goal and mission of ANPC is WORLD PEACE and freedom for all the nationals of the world, focusing on a peaceful gathering together of all tribes and nations. Our living men and women are to live as Peaceful Inhabitants on the land, striving always to create a better world today and for future generations.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *