Often in our Curvy Conversations, I’ve talked about being confident and secure at any size. I’ve urged us not to let our “weight make us wait” to live life to the fullest. Thankfully that mentality has more or less been second nature for me, but sometimes I have my days.
Sometimes it takes a little extra energy for me to walk into a room of people and not wonder what they’re thinking. Although I can usually quiet that insecure voice in my head… it can be rough.
So, when my fashion writer girlfriend asked me to be her “+1” for New York Fashion Week in Bryant Park, I was flattered and excited, but I was also having “one of those days” which made me a little apprehensive.
What if they don’t let me in? Will I hold her back from special seats because of how I look? Will I stick out like a sore thumb?
Ultimately I accepted her invitation. Every season I watch the shows on TV, there was no way I could pass up the final NYFW in the tents at Bryant Park. On Wednesday, I wore a grey cowl neck mini dress, black tights and knee high boots. At the first show we walked into, we were told we’d have to stand in the balcony. My stomach tightened as I wondered if our not-so-hot seats were due to the way I look. But on the way up, a show coordinator pulled us aside and whisked us to the main floor and gave us seats right on the main runway! I was feet away from lots of celebs like John Legend and Ms. Jay from Americas Next Top Model (Here’s a photo of them).
We got lots of fun swag from Maybelline as well as free drinks at the bar while we waited for the next show. As the shows went on I kept watching the models as they did their jobs as human hangers. When I’m not second guessing myself I can have that same quiet confidence, because I really don’t think its 100% about how you look, being secure in who you are can take a person a long way. Of course these aren’t new thoughts, but sometimes I have to remind myself of these things.
As we were leaving the show, one of my friends connections asked if we wanted to go to an after party with him. This time I quickly shook the nervousness I felt about crashing a fashion industry event, and walked to the venue with my model confidence in tact. As I waited in the corner for my companions to check their coats, a manager came rushing up to me, “Did you just come from the show?” he asked.
“You’re early! I have Open bar passes for you… just wait here.” I had no idea what he was talking about, but an open bar sounded good to me. By the time my friends got to me, I had 3 wrist bands for us and directions to the complimentary champagne lounge.
Apparently, even though I’m a PSP, I still looked like I deserved VIP treatment at Fashion Week. My girl friend and I clinked glasses of free champagne and then she leaned into me and said “I need to bring you with me to Fashion Week every year!”
I had to laugh. To think, I was convinced I would hold her back! On this night, it seemed like the only person who was focused on my weight… was me.
For me it was just another reminder that anything is possible at any size. Hopefully its a lesson I’ll never forget.