I absolutely love your blog! I’ve recently began reading it and actually went all the way to the beginning and read it through! I thought I’d share with you an experience I had today and possibly get your reaction/advice.
Today at work I was approached by an assistant I’ve only spoken to a few times. She asked me to stop by her desk later because she had something to share with me. A few hours later I stopped by. She handed me an invitation and said, “please don’t be offended, but I’d like to invite you to our meeting.” I was confused but thanked her and left. When I got back to my desk I saw that it was an invitation to a weight loss group that she hosted.
I wasn’t offended, but sometimes I wonder why everyone thinks that overweight people are just searching for a weight loss group to join. I personally am happy with the way I look. (ironically at the bottom of the letter it read, “refreshments will be served.”)
I did not take anything personally because I realize I am overweight, and she probably assumed I was unhappy with that and felt the same way she did.
I wish people would recognize that not all overweight people are unhappy with themselves. I know people mean well, but I don’t need my mother telling me about the newest fad diet, or a coworker inviting me to a weight loss meeting. I would like respect and for people to accept me just as I accept myself.
When I got your letter, I was actually working on a entry about weight related run-ins at work, so you are not the only one dealing with this issue! Just because I spend 40 hours a week with you doesn’t mean you get to ju– wait… let me stop. This is about you and your entry, I will save my rant for another day.
When it comes to friends and family, tell them what you told me! Explain that you know they’re coming from a place of love but that you “would like respect and for people to accept you just as you accept yourself”.
Honestly, the answer on how to deal with your co-worker is also in what you wrote to me. You’re right when you say that people shouldn’t assume that all big girls are dying to be thin. Also, when you said that you were okay with your weight, I sat up a little straighter in my chair. Reading that statement was very empowering for me.
What’s clear to me is that your self-assurance/confidence/happiness with who you are is a lesson for PSP’s everywhere. Perhaps this is an opportunity for you to share some of what you’ve got with your co-worker. Shoot her an email: Thanks for the invite, I’m happy with my current size, but if I ever want to drop a few pounds I’ll check out your meeting (I’ll even bring carrot sticks!).
Maybe you can follow up with a lunch date, I’m sure the two of you would have some interesting dialog about body image and you can share your personal size acceptance journey if it feels appropriate.
It might be good for her to know that there are big girls who are happy in their own skin.
Just a thought.
Got a Curvy Convo topic? Send your questions/comments/inquiries to email@example.com