It was a brisk Friday night in the city and I was on a first date.
It had gone well; dinner, bowling and now Tyson was walking me home. Our chemistry wasn’t fireworks, but I saw potential and I needed someone (anyone!) to make me feel like letting go of Jeremy was a good choice.
I know I can be traditional (sometimes to a fault). Waiting for the man to call… to ask me out… to move things forward, etc. So I decided I would do my best not to hold Tyson to my normal high standards. I ignored it when he didnt rush to open doors for me. I was pleasantly surprised when he paid for everything and I hid my annoyance as we walked home and he let me walk on the outside (closest to the traffic).
When we got to my apartment, things went as they usually do after a first date. There was nervous chatter, a few awkward pauses and then I said “Well, I had fun!” That’s when Tyson did something unexpected. He looked at me for a moment and said “You did? Hmmm… You’re really hard to read.”
“Yes, you are… most girls are pretty obvious when they like a guy.”
“I guess I’m not like most girls…”
He Nodded. “So, what do you think about this… about, us?”
I didnt know what to do, I had never been asked how I wanted to move forward before and I didnt like it. I would have prefered a simple hug/kiss and a goodnight, to wait a few days and voila! he’d call me… this was hard! It was then that I remembered my comitment to do things differently, to step away from my rules and traditions. My stomach tightened:
“I– I like you, I think, um, I think that this is good! I would like to see you again.” I wanted to frown, but remembered to smile.
“Great!” He replied and swept me up in a big long hug. He kissed me on the cheek, watched me as I entered my building. 30 minutes later I got a text message “I’m home”, I replied with “thanks again, I had fun”, to which he sent a “:-)”
This was over a month ago, and I never heard from Tyson again. This is why I hate putting myself out there. Why would he ask me what I thought if he knew he wasnt really that interested? It doesnt make any sense to me! Did he just want an ego stroke?
Of course it was easy to express myself to Tyson because I was indifferent about dating him. He was more of an excersize, but what about when a guy who I am seriously interested in asks me how I feel? This is just another reason I feel like it makes more sense to let the guy take the lead in matters of the heart.