Dating

Large(girl) Lessons: If you like me, dont call me fat.

March 22 2009 | CeCe Olisa

Good Morning Class!

I’m not sure how many guys read TBGB, but if you’re a male and attracted to PSP’s, then this lesson is for you.

Last night I was at a birthday party in the East Village. The place was tiny, the DJ was good and I looked cute in dark wash jeans and a yellow strapless top with a sweetheart neckline. I was dancing with friends when a guy gently grabbed my wrist. I let him pull me away from my friends for a dance. That’s when he pulled me close and quickly ruined the moment by whispering in my ear: “I loooove big girls”

I know I am big… I know it! There is no need for you to remind me of my size when you are hitting on me. I can bet that none of my skinny friends have had a man tell them “I loooove small women”. You are stating the obvious! I am smart enough to gather that if you are approaching me, you don’t have a problem with my size. So there is no need to say things like:

“I like a girl with meat on her bones”, “Big girls need love too” or to refer to how much smaller you are (i.e. “you don’t mind a skinny guy like me?”)

All of these things make me feel like a freak show, a fetish, a play thing. Now that I think about it… if you’re approaching me like that, maybe that’s how you actually see me.

But if you really want to get to know me, leave my size out of it. Trust me, if you give me the proper romantic attention I will understand your attraction to my body.

Class Dismissed.

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42 responses on “Large(girl) Lessons: If you like me, dont call me fat.

  1. Angel

    Bravo! excellent lesson, Cece. The tactlessness and the audacity of some people makes me crazy. How did you handle that? I hope you punched him or at least said something that put him in his place before you walked away.

  2. Jourdana

    Well put!
    I thought I was the only one who felt that it was closer to an insult than a come on.
    I’m with Angel, I hope you punched him, or better yet simply and abruptly walked away. What an idiot…

  3. Jennifer

    I think you make a good point but your comparison to skinny girls being told "I loooove small women" is not accurate. Many men tell women that. I am small and I have been told that, myself.
    My boyfriend is what you would call a…"nerd". And you know what, I have told him "I loooove nerds!" He was embarrassed a bit at first, but he began to realize that in my mind, it was the sexiest thing he could possibly be!
    By the way, I LOVE your blog and I read it often.

  4. Jennifer Dome

    I often felt objectified or like a fetish if someone commented on liking my size too. As you said, if you take me out, show me affection and generally care for me as in any dating/couple situation, it will be obvious that you like me, my body and that my size is OK with you. It’s not necessary to point it out. However, I do think some girls have the habit of asking “So you like bigger girls?” or some such question. I think I was guilty of this when I was younger. Same response. Uh, duh, of course he does if he’s out with you, so why make it an issue? Maybe some guys do this because they’ve been with insecure girls who need the reassurance that the guy is into them. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m just wondering if they’re preconditioned to put bigger girls at ease because they’ve been in contact with so many who lack confidence.

  5. Jennifer King

    I often felt objectified or like a fetish if someone commented on liking my size too. As you said, if you take me out, show me affection and generally care for me as in any dating/couple situation, it will be obvious that you like me, my body and that my size is OK with you. It’s not necessary to point it out. However, I do think some girls have the habit of asking “So you like bigger girls?” or some such question. I think I was guilty of this when I was younger. Same response. Uh, duh, of course he does if he’s out with you, so why make it an issue? Maybe some guys do this because they’ve been with insecure girls who need the reassurance that the guy is into them. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m just wondering if they’re preconditioned to put bigger girls at ease because they’ve been in contact with so many who lack confidence.

  6. MizzBee

    CAN I GET AN AMEN HONEY!!!! I’ve had guys say similar things to me, and i sometimes feel offended. Honestly what is the point in commenting on my size?I know I’m a big girl, I don’t need you to remind me.

    As i like to say “who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?” and i believe they are trying to convince themselves that they like “big girls”. Besides, we are Plus Size Princesses not “big girls”! 🙂

  7. MizzBee

    CAN I GET AN AMEN HONEY!!!! I’ve had guys say similar things to me, and i sometimes feel offended. Honestly what is the point in commenting on my size?I know I’m a big girl, I don’t need you to remind me.

    As i like to say “who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?” and i believe they are trying to convince themselves that they like “big girls”. Besides, we are Plus Size Princesses not “big girls”! 🙂

  8. Angela

    One thing i CANNOT stand is when guys say “I love thick girls.” Um excuse me? I don’t care how in “thick” is right now, but it will never be in for me. Its just a semi-polite way of pointing out how un-skinny someone is, and in my opinion its not even that polite. Huge turn off.

  9. Angela

    One thing i CANNOT stand is when guys say “I love thick girls.” Um excuse me? I don’t care how in “thick” is right now, but it will never be in for me. Its just a semi-polite way of pointing out how un-skinny someone is, and in my opinion its not even that polite. Huge turn off.

  10. Kate

    I, like many of you, am a plus sized woman. But first, I’m a person. If a guy (or girl) is going to put my body type ahead of my status as a person or my personality as a whole, then I don’t want their attention, and I don’t want their affection. Fetishization dehumanizes a person, in my opinion, and I want no part in it.

  11. Shackashackaboom

    I think it depends on the girl… Im not the biggest fan of a guy saying “I like big girls” But something like I like thick/curvy women. I love that

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