New Years Kiss: To Be Continued….

February 20 2009 | CeCe Olisa

I’m sorry I haven’t been updating you lately but things have gotten sticky with Jeremy. I keep messing up… he keeps messing up… basically everything is a mess!

But before I get into that, I have to say that you all are the best readers ever! An anonymous reader left a comment on my last New Years Kiss post, that really got me thinking… she said a lot of great things but the part that stuck out to me was when she said:

“Take it from a slightly older PSP – ASK HIM. You have been assuming, analyzing, guessing and creating all kinds of scenarios in your pretty little head. Four times throughout all of these installments I just wanted to yell at you “JUST ASK HIM!! You’re creating more drama for yourself. He’s not a mind reader – if he’s an ass, then so be it, but if he’s just a clueless boy who doesn’t get that he’s confusing you (as most boys are)then speak up or you might throw away something good. Don’t make decisions based on instinct alone.” -Anonymous

Then Ms. Louisa chimed in with this:

“Hey Ce-Ce, I have to agree with anonymous. I too almost wrote something similar with this post but am assuming there’s already an end in sight that you will reveal in due course (hopefully soon!) If there’s not though, I really agree you just need to be honest. What do you have to lose?” -Louisa

Ms. Anonymous, when I read your comment I knew you were on to something, but I’ve never been the girl who can make the first move, first admission, first… anything! Call me old fashioned, but I’ve always waited for the guy to lead the way. Your note did inspire me but just when I’d get the courage to lay things out, something would happen. He’d do something to frustrate me or I’d do something to frustrate him. Or we’d have random encounters that just don’t help anything, like last week:

Last week, I ran into Jeremy at a restaurant near my apartment. He was with his best friend, Charlotte (who lives in my neighborhood). I was with a male friend of mine– someone taller, older and more established than Jeremy. It wasn’t a date, but Jeremy seemed really taken aback to see us together. I tried to play the whole thing off as no big deal, but the next day Jeremy sent me sarcastic text messages asking if I “had fun”. Since then when I’ve tried to make plans with him he’s too busy for me, which of course makes me not want to even think about putting my heart on the line with him.

To answer Ms. Louisa’s question, there isn’t really an end in sight right now. Sometimes I think of how cute it would be if I were chronicling the love story of CeCe & Jeremy while curled up next to him in the bed. Instead, during every twist and turn of this emotional roller coaster, I take a moment to write it all down here.

Jeremy is so important to me, but things just aren’t happening for us right now. As much as I care for him, I need him to want more and right now and I don’t think he does… hopefully you will keep reading, but I just can’t be sustained by compliments and stolen kisses.

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2 responses on “New Years Kiss: To Be Continued….

  1. becky @ misspriss

    oh, hell no, honey. if he’s going to pull that passive aggressive BS then you don’t need him. it’s not worth your time to go through that. if he can’t speak out about what’s bothering him, and you can’t speak up about your questions, you two will have way too many problems. i know it’s easier to be old-fashioned. but in order to make things work you need to find a way to get past that. and learn that guys are generally clueless when it comes to little hints we try to give. you must come out with it straightaway.

    i’ve learned this the hard way, thinking weird things were happening. and then when i finally ask about it, i realize that i’ve built things up to be WAY bigger in my head.

    but again, if he’s making the snide comments and being unavailable, i would move on. seriously – do you want someone who likes to play games, or do you want someone who is straight with you?

  2. Kristin

    The last few lines of this blog really resonated with me. You are completely right in wanting and needing more from Jeremy. I think the point is that although you two obviously have feelings for one another, it takes more than feelings to make a relationship. Jeremy needs to man up and make his intentions clear. If he cannot do that, then you must try to move on. I’ve been in a similar situation, and if the guy never steps up to the plate, it leads to heartbreak.

    He should want you enough to make that apparent with not only his actions, but his words as well.

    I know you know all of this, you’re a smart lady… I just hope he realizes what he’s missing out on… you won’t be on the market for long… he better get you while he can!

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