If Jeremy was going to play dumb, I really couldn’t push things much further, so I planned to take Mayas party as my opportunity to make a final assessment of everything and then I would move forward… or move on.
The ensemble for the evening was: a magenta mini-skirt with a black halter. I opted for black tights (because it was like, 2 degrees in New York City) black heels and I carried every else I needed in a sparkly black clutch.
I arrived more than fashionably late, so by the time I checked my coat and made my way into the venue everyone was already there; including Jeremy. I made my way to Maya’s table and she handed me a flute of champagne. We toasted, posed for a few pictures and then I made my way around to greet everyone else.
The DJ was awesome and I jumped right onto the main dance floor with some friends that were there. As the night went on I danced with everyone, everyone… except Jeremy. Either I was crazy or he was avoiding me. But why was Jeremy avoiding me? This was the same Jeremy who, on many occasions would sweep me up in my kitchen and slow dance with me for no reason. Or who would play songs on my computer and sing them to me in my bedroom. So for us, dancing together was nothing new… but maybe since Maya was there, things were new, or at least different? I started to get an anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach, so I had some more champagne and spent the rest of the night on the dance floor.
The night was drawing to a close and I had danced until my hair fell flat and I had to put it in a ponytail. This was it… he had avoided me, given all his attention to her and that was more than I could handle. Who cares if Maya was the birthday girl… if he had a real interest in me he would not have felt the need to be by her side the majority of the night. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t realize I had stopped dancing until bodies began to bump and push me. I took a few steps to the side and leaned against the wall.
Suddenly Jeremy was standing in front of me. He placed his palms on the wall behind me just over each of my shoulders… as if by instinct I hooked my hands onto his arms. His face was inches from mine.
“Hey,” he said.
Why did this feel so wrong?
I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until his lips touched mine. The kiss was quick but it kick-started my breathing again. He kissed me again (what is with him and the double kiss??) Anyway, I couldn’t even enjoy the moment because I kept wondering if Maya could see us. I pushed him away.
“This is crazy,” I said.
I ducked under his arms, made my way off the dance floor, collected my coat and left. There was a 24 hour grocery store across the street and I decided to go inside. 20 minutes later I emerged with everything I’d need for the pity party breakfast I was planning to have the next morning.
I had been on the corner stomping my feet for warmth and trying to hail a taxi for a few minutes when a car pulled up beside me. It was Charlotte, Jeremy’s friend.
“Girl, get in… its freezing!”
I jumped in the car with a million thanks.
“No problem,” Charlotte replied. “I was just getting my car from the parking garage… I’m going to swing back to the club and pick up my boyfriend and Jeremy. Then I can drop you off at your place… Jeremy is really drunk!”
Jeremy? Seriously? Before I could protest, Charlotte’s boyfriend swung the car door open and began to push Jeremy’s limp body into the back seat.
“CeCe!” Jeremy slurred.
I turned to Charlotte, “I just left like, 45 minutes ago and he was fine… how did he get this wasted?”
Charlotte just shrugged.
The ride home was pretty quiet, until Charlotte pulled up to my apartment. That’s when Jeremy mumbled “You knoooow… I’m in love with CeCeeee! Buut… she… doesn’t like me anymoooore!”
I didn’t even bother responding. I just thanked Charlotte for the ride and made my way into my apartment. I got inside, put away my groceries and took a long, hot shower. As I climbed into bed, Jeremy’s drunken words were still echoing in my head.
I’m in love with CeCe… She doesn’t like me anymore…
I didn’t know how much of what he said was true and that went for both statements.
I wasn’t sure if he was in love with me.
And honestly, I wasn’t sure if I liked him anymore.