Its been established that Jeremy and I have chemistry, but I still wasn’t sure if he had legitimate interest in me. He’s the type of guy who is nice to everyone, loving and kind without hesitation. So when he texts me things like “I miss you!” or “I love you…” I often assume that they are mass texts sent to multiple people… perhaps multiple females.
I’ve been doing a decent job of keeping him at arms length, even when he is saying and doing things that could be interpreted as him expressing interest in me. I just haven’t been able to let my guard down for a two reasons:
1.) I’m afraid he’s just being nice and doesn’t see me “that way”.
2.) I’m afraid he’s having similar interactions with other girls.
I guess the running theme here is… I’m afraid.
All that began to change the Tuesday before New Years when I got a poetic/cryptic text message from him basically telling me that he wants to love me but I have to receive it… trust him and love him back.
Half of me honestly thought he was joking around… as he often says he loves me and then we both laugh. But the other half wondered if I should be taking him seriously.
We both had plans to attend a New Years Eve church service that ended around 12:30am and from there to go to a party at a friends house. Since we were in church for the countdown I knew there wouldn’t be any fantastic New Years kiss, but he did sweep me up in a big hug, anyway– Fast Forward to this party…
I get there and see a lot of people I know, including a friend of ours named Maya. Maya is really nice, I like her a lot and we’ve been becoming good friends. She’s also been getting closer to Jeremy and although he never talks about her, sometimes I wonder if he’s interested in her (See fear #2 above). When I saw her there, I figured the way he handled both of us being at the same event might give me some insight on how he felt about her.
So as I leaned against a wall, observing the party and Jeremy came over to me I didn’t think much of it. We talked about the night and how we were glad we were together. Then mid-conversation, he kissed me. It was simple, quick and unexpected. He looked at me and said “You finally let me kiss you…” I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything… we just went back to talking. Then he kissed me again, same as the first.
This was good, Maya was in the room when the kiss happened so I took that to mean there’s nothing between them. Also, I don’t know any guys who just kiss their friends, so I suppose the kiss means he sees me as more than a friend.
So I could erase my fears, let my guard down and go for it with Jeremy, right?