Curvy Conversations

Watch Out For The Big Girl: Thoughts???

January 29 2009 | CeCe Olisa
The other night a friend of mine invited me to a last minute gathering at his apartment. It was a snowy Saturday and I had been inside all day, so I decided to venture out. It was a relaxed atmosphere, we had dinner, played games and had a lot of fun.

At one point I stepped outside to use my phone and when I came back into the apartment, a guy I didn’t know had hooked his iPod up to my friends stereo system and was playing DJ. Everyone was up dancing in the living room (a clear sign that we’d all had too much wine). The makeshift DJ was playing all types of music and I too had a bit of wine in my system, so I made my way into the living room and joined in.

That’s when he yelled “awwww YEAH!” and switched the song to this:


I found it offensive… It made me not want to dance anymore, so I stopped. Like– why did he have to play that song the minute I started dancing? I wasn’t going to start bouncing people out of the room with my hips or anything….

I’ll open this up for discussion… What are YOUR thoughts???

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38 responses on “Watch Out For The Big Girl: Thoughts???

  1. Louisa

    When I was reading I thought maybe he meant it as a compliment then i listened to the song. I personally would have offended but I’m kinda sensitive so was open to the opposite possibility. Then I listed to the song. Ass Hole. Compliment or not it’s not cool to single anyone out for anything like this especially when this is such a crap, repetitive song. Totally wrong (and dumb!) How did your friends react? I hope they backed you and kicked his butt to the ground for being such a loser!

  2. Eponine

    If he played it as soon as you hit the dance floor, it makes me shudder to think that he had it queued up BEFORE hand.

    I would have been offended as well, but I suppose it’s possible that he didn’t mean anything by it. And I for one am one of the first to hit the dance floor when “fat bottomed girls” or “baby got back” play.

    (I did not listen to this song, though I can see from the other comments that it doesn’t have the same positive message as the two I mentioned)

    Some people just have fucked up senses of humor, though. He probably expected you to think it was funny.

  3. Ms. LMC

    this is why we are friends….

    I ABHOR when folks put that song on. It’s a very blatant diss , especially in such small settings. I don’t even like it when it’s played in the clubs because it singles us out like we’re circus attractions.

    That guy is a jerk-he clearly put in on when he saw you start to dance.BOOOO to him!

  4. The Big Girl Blog!

    Whew! Now I know I’m not crazy…

    @ Louisa… I’m super sensitive too and even though I think he thought it was a compliment it just didn’t work for me!

    @ getdone… shite is right! haha

    @ eponine… You’re right, Baby Got Back is totally different, I’ve rocked out to that one many times because that song honors an asset (hehe) instead of warning about someone’s size.

    @ Ms. LMC… Yeah “Circus Attraction” is exactly how I felt… augh!

    @ Dating Trooper… HA! Indeed…

  5. V

    That guy is a total douche (I know that’s gross, but that’s the word I reserve for the lowest of the low). And personally, given the fact that you had enough vino, I would have probably said something to him, like, “you’re a douche.”

  6. Kristin

    I hate when that happens… in ANY setting. On the rare occasion that I make it out to a club, and they play that song, I cringe. I’ll sometimes just go with it, and shrug it off…but i honestly hate that. I don’t get why we have to be called out. It just feels like a big ol joke… all of a sudden the guys all wanna dance and pay extra attention. I don’t appreciate it one bit.

  7. ProfessorMichel

    Wow. I'm from Baltimore so I grew up listening to this song. I have never had someone put it on specifically for me though. So, if I were in your situation I would probably be offended. But, this song has been around since I was in middle school at least. All Baltimore Club songs are ignorant and offensive on some level. But, I'm actually not offended by the song because Baltimore culturally lends itself to confident, big women. I didn't realize how different it was other places until I went to college. Big girls in Baltimore have fun to this song. But I've been in Philly and New York and seen it received quite differently so I understand where you're coming from 🙁

  8. HKMD

    i from baltimore and that song used to be everything …big or small we would rock off to it , but in the context of your situation i can understand being offend ….

  9. HKMD

    i from baltimore and that song used to be everything …big or small we would rock off to it , but in the context of your situation i can understand being offend ….

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