Computer Love

I can remember being a young girl and wishing I could send out a mass message across the United States to any and all boys who liked (or didn’t mind) big girls. In my fantasy, I would line all the boys up, walk up and down the line and pick one (or two) so I could finally have a boyfriend.

I knew there were boys out there who would like a girl like me, but it was just a matter of finding them.
Fast Forward to my adulthood and that long line of males who’d like a plus size princess of their own has become a reality, with the help of the Internet.
When I moved to New York City, online dating was NOT an option, I mean isn’t that where ax-murderers find their victims? But after a long time passed and I realized that I was mostly being approached by homeless men with missing teeth, I started to look into it.
A quick look here proved my point, there were men looking for big girls.
So I began my search for the man of my dreams, I took time and wrote out an ad detailing what I was looking for, the major criteria being:
1.) Height (6’+)
2.) Intelligence
3.) Religion (Christian please)
Note: Race NOT important
I published my post online and in minutes my inbox was full of responses! To my dismay many were written in poor or broken English with spelling errors, so those emails were quickly deleted (please see criteria #2).
Then I got a beautifully written note with a photo attached, from an Asian man. At the end he mentioned that he was 5’5 and he hoped that wouldn’t be a problem once we got to know each other. (please see criteria #1!)
I was just about to lose hope when, I got a charming email from a man who said he liked that I knew what he wanted and that he fit all of my criteria, he even pointed out that he was 6’1!
We exchanged witty emails for a few days and then we decided that we should exchange photos. I went to work sending him a gorgeous black and white photo of myself that a friend had taken of me a few weeks prior.
I was a bit nervous that after all of our talking and chemistry, he wouldn’t find me attractive and that would be the end of it. I waited nervously until finally I received an email from him saying:
“Wow, I didn’t expect such a sexy young woman, you are beautiful and I cannot wait to spend time with you! I have attached a pic too, let me know what you think.”
My heart soared! Finally, after all my searching I had found someone that I clicked with and that found me attractive. Unless this guy was missing an eye, I just knew I would be attracted to him.
I clicked on the attachment and happily waited for it to load, when the photo opened on my computer screen I couldn’t believe my eyes.
It was a big white penis.

13 thoughts on “Computer Love”

  1. OMG!!! This was so funny on one level yet so incredibly disappointing.

    Like really? Who joins these things to go look at penises? It’s not like you can’t find them anywhere on the internet.

    So much for #2.

  2. I’ve been around these online things for years, and have gotten used to the penises. At first, yeah, i was surprised and disgusted and after a while, being a heterosexual and all, found them appealing. Even had a nice relationship with one of the guys who sent me one of those pics. And then I found out that it’s not so bad sending pics of myself in the nude (face being covered, of course). They seem like freaks, until you become one of them, lol.

  3. I know we all have our preferences, but I can’t help but think you might have passed up something good with beautiful-writer-but-short-Asian. I myself always dated tall guys (I’m 5 foot 9) but it wasn’t until I made an exception with my current 5 foot 4 boyfriend (who I met online!) that I finally found something that really worked.

  4. Oh no! That’s crazy! I have the same dilemma of trying to figure out where a double digit diva like me can find a decent guy who likes what I have. I’ve looked through CL but found more fetish than genuine interest, found some other sites that weren’t too bad, still searching though. 🙂

  5. Seriously!!! I think we should go “meet” him, and then beat him with a phone book! Where are the men with manners I mean seriously! Have you tried eHarmony, at least there I don’t think you can put those kind of pictures, but it costs :-/ I’m sorry you had to experience that, my heart goes out to you but it’s his loss for being a complete idiot, he’s missing out on a strong beautiful woman! WOMAN POWER!

  6. I have done the same thing as you have and have met some good and not so good people. I have had a similar experience to you with guys sending pictures of their genitals. Can’t believe the guys think this works.

    I have met a couple of good guys from there though, some that are still in my life.

  7. I have been surfing on-line more than three hours nowadays, but I never discovered any interesting article like yours. It is pretty price sufficient for me. In my view, if all website owners and bloggers made just right content as you did, the net might be a lot more useful than ever before.

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